I'm new here...hey guys

[chloelizz]

Hi everyone, I'm Chloe. I have had social anxiety in varing degrees for more than a decade. In that time I've lost contact with my school friends and now have not one friend at all. I've become very self-reliant and insular. My confidence is at an all time low and because of this, I find it hard to get a job. At interviews I get nervous, I sometimes stammer and my mind goes blank when answering a question. The lack of confidence in my abilites shows to the employer, so I'm basically crippling myself. I sometimes feel like I should just give up trying to find work because I feel like I will never get a permanent job and why bother cotinuing to put myself through interviews that go nowhere. I've been very over-weight since secondary school, so that didn't help with my confidence. I have lost most of weight I gained through school and after, but now I have a lot of lose skin which makes me feel repulsive. I have never had a boyfriend because of this problem of mine and I'm still a virgin. I feel like I have wasted the last 10 years of my life and I have nothing to show for it. I did get a very good degree a couple of years ago, but other that that, there isn't anything I've done that I'm proud of. I have seriously considered going to my GP and asking for help because this is gotten out of hand, I should have done something sooner, I'm worried at it, I really want to sort my life out. (I've never been this honest about my social anxiety before).

[NervousTracey]

Hi Chloe I understand how you feel, when I left university I was unemployed at my parents for a while and the experience altered me completely I lost all self confidence and felt so low, and couldn't imagine how this miserable scared person can get themselves out of this situation.

I can tell from this post it's really important for you to get a job and get more sociable and that all you need to start, the type of people who worry the most in these circumstances will generally get them selves out of it because it means so much.

All it takes is one job interview to go well, stick at the job, any job for 8 months and you can apply something else as you will be in a stronger position as you'll be in a job.

Try not to compare yourself to other people so much of this us right place right time and luck. Keep putting yourself in this position and it will happen to you.

Once you've got where you want you will look back on this journey and it will all make sense, and you'll r do proud of yourself. But your just at the start of it now.

Good luck

Xx

[NervousTracey in reply to NervousTracey]

Ps don't worry about the boyfriend thing. I was a late starter too, its quality not quantity

[chloelizz in reply to NervousTracey]

Thanks for the advice, it makes a lot of sense.

[Sandy1710]

Imagine the interviewers naked. Will completely shift the power in your mind. Also, final few minutes before it, go into a room by yourself. Toilet perhaps and do power poses, like tense your arm muscles or perhaps do a usain bolt! Anything that makes you feel good and tell yourself how clever/good you are! I WAS the worst at interviews. I now landed myself an office manager role for the past 2 years - my anxiety Ian trying it's hardest to make me fail at the job but I'm not going to let it without an almighty fight. Best of luck. Smash it.