anxiety will make me kill myself one day

[Mina-Edwar]

hi everyone i am new here

my name is mina i am male from egypt 28 years and i think i have anxiety since i was 16 but coz i am in egypt and its not common to say that you have a mental illness here i did nothing.

this is the story of me i don't know how it can help me to say it to other but a friend told me to do this

back in high school i was lonly kid who do nothing i am not good at football like most of the other guys in fact i hate football i don't enjoy it. and i am not strong to be one of the cool guys who do whatever they want whenever they want. other guys start to bullying me but coz i didn't give them any reaction somehow they stoped and start to think of me like i am not even here. they only talk to me when they need something from me.

12 year later i am an IT guy now who hate his work and his company. i don't enjoy anything i used to enjoy videogames but not anymore. i have a really fucked up mind who can destroy the beauty of anything and anyone.

five years ago i loved a girl but she didn't love me back i think that coz she sow in me something wrong i warry about everything i overthink alot and i want her so much and i think she sow that i am needy person thats why she didn't love me back. we talk until this day she is not in any relationship right now and in fact 2moro i am going out with her. i want to tell her that i am still love her but i am afraid

[Mina-Edwar]

my problem in my mind and i don't know who to change it

[LottieDottie818 in reply to Mina-Edwar]

I am having a similar problem. I think you need to work on yourself before you begin a relationship. If you really love her you will feel better for yourself first and then hopefully she will see you for who you are and not the "something wrong" thing you think she might see. Even if it doesn't work out with her loving yourself might bring a long the right person.

[Mina-Edwar in reply to LottieDottie818]

but how i don't know what to do as i said mental illness is not common thing here in Egypt ppl will see me that i am weak to ask for help in something like that. and even if they didn't how can i fix my mind and they way he think

[LottieDottie818 in reply to Mina-Edwar]

Yeah I understand that. There probably aren't many places you can go to for help. This is definitely a good place to start. Have you tried an internet therapist? There's a site called "better help" you can try

[Queenofworry]

Please don't kill yourself no matter how hard it gets please don't you are worthy of life and someone will love you for you I have been in a 15 yr relationship and I have moderate to severe anxiety /depression please stay strong my significant other says it's not easy to live with me but he loves me for me and sees past my problems and is there for me when I break down you need to seek a person who is willing to work with you and love you no matter what hold on don't do something that can't be taken back I have had the same thouhhts but I had to stay strong and you do too best if luck . P.S. have you tried to go to the hospital in your country or mabey get a pen pal and share your feelings

[Queenofworry]

And you are not weak you are strong a weak person wouldn't seek help like you are doing a weak person would just give up dont be a weak person you can do it I believe in you. you will get better

[Joimom16]

Hello

You may have generalized anxiety disorder!!! Before you get into a relationship, go and get some help! I understand that in your country mental health shows a sign of weakness, it's also a CRY for help! Please don't let how others feel cause you not to get the mental help you need...we are not healthy if our minds are weak! You have so much to live for, Please don't take your life over something that can be addressed!!! Getting help is a sign that you are strong!!! We are always here for you!!