What will make it easier: Think of a loved... - Anxiety Support

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What will make it easier

Starrlight profile image
24 Replies

Think of a loved one wanting you to go enjoy a day with them and you want to push through fear of having panic attacks for them because it would mean a lot to them if you went and you’d be making a nice memory but you find yourself dreading and predicting that you will have attacks without a way out.

I picture myself on a long bus ride and at a museum around many people. I picture my son’s happy face if I were to go. I picture my agony.

I wish I could bring a bag of tricks with me that would fix my problem. I could put some distracting soothing things in my purse to use when I need to but am afraid that may not be enough. I used to go on field trips without blinking and enjoy them. I need to step it up and CONQUER my fear. I will feel guilty if I don’t go. But if I do go I MIGHT be very stressed out and might feel embarrassed. There are times I feel I am falling through the floor and so dizzy it really freaks me out. My HOPE is that I will actually have a decent time. Sometimes no matter what I do it depends on what the day gives me. Any advice please?

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24 Replies
Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Do you have medication? I'd take some before the trip to calm yourself down. I went to a birthday party I was pressured into. Forgot my medication I had s breakdown before I went in.

Your son probably wouldn't understand what your going through? How old is he? Depending on his age maybe he would? It would be horrible if you had an attack in front of him?

Give it a lot of thought first ? Good Luck

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

He is 10. He understands to some degree. I have a family member who gives me Ativan when really needed but I can’t rely on it. Haven’t been able to find a doc to prescribe a benzo. I am about ready to try a med called Qualia, its mostly vitamins but is supposed to help with stress and anxiety.

Thanks for replying.

in reply to Starrlight

I can totally relate to how you feel. I see that you’ve been trying medication given by a friend rather then prescribed.

Can I ask have you tried counselling ? I have developed bad anxiety but I’m reluctant to take medication for it as I feel it will only mask the symptoms not address the cause so I’ve opted for a talking therapy .. CBT which is helping a lot. If you haven’t tried already it may be something you could explore for yourself ?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thank you for responding Snow. I am in therapy. I will look into CBT thank you! What do you think the most important thing you learned from CBT is? Meditation and exercise helps but sometimes it’s hard to be motivated.

in reply to Starrlight

So far one of the most important things is finding out the root cause of the anxiety. For me anxiety started in 2012 when I first became ill. However what has come out of my sessions is that the root cause for me is low self esteem and reduced confidence that has come about through the changes that my long term health conditions have dictated

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

I don’t know where exactly my anxiety stems from for sure but I do think a lot of it is biology since I have had it since early childhood. In 2012 I believe it became worse after giving birth to my 3rd child, some say hormones. In 1997 I found my brother who committed suicide which changed my life probably PTSD but I thought it was only depression; thinking back, i can see it was anxiety too. My self esteem is pretty shot. OCD is a big part in my struggles.

in reply to Starrlight

Then I would definitely continue with therapy and ask about CBT. You need to be totally honest with your therapist if you are to move forward

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thank you.

in reply to Starrlight

You are welcome

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

Quails is that prescribed ? I know My doctor won't prescribe certain things to me. If it's a vitamin, I might try it?

Have you tried it before?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

You can order Qualia online. My son has tried it and it works for him. It’s full of roots,herbs, vitamins, has a low dose of Lithium in it. I’m kind of nervous to try it. I searched to make sure it would not interact with what I am prescribed, seems clear so I guess I will try it.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

Thanks I'll look into it. You can ask your pharmacy or doctor about interaction? That's what I do

As I'm writing you I'm trying to calm my anxeity down by telling myself that worring won't change what's going to happen or did happen and that everything's going to be fine I realize today that I've been worring about things that happened long ago. Man, anxeity SUCKS!!!

I wish I could let go and be HAPPY??? Right now, I'll take ONE day!!!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

I did ask my psychiatrist and he suggested just what I was doing, looking online at universities or Web MD and such to check drug interactions. Smart of you to remind yourself that worries or regrets won’t change anything but it can be so hard to retrain the mind right?! I think I will do some meditation for that right now...have you heard of Tara Brach? She does guided meditations online for free and its great!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Starrlight

Yes, even one MOMENT at a time sometimes is where I am at ;)

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

It is HARD, right now it's not working. Barely ate anything, only egg whites. I'm scared

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

Oh I know that feeling. And it’s hard to force food but that is what I just did. It’s easier to drink so I blend up some greens with some fruits. When was the last time you ate before the egg whites? I’m sure you will be okay; it just takes a bit of time.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

Well since the egg whites, it was last night. The egg whites were at noon.

I've been having diarrhea off n on. I've had to take medication to slow it down. Trying to eat more protein to avoid the medication.

The thing I hate most? Is worrying about something that hasn't happened. Then what usually happens is nothing, then I've wasted my time worrying. I'm trying so hard Not to do that, I guess it's the unknown that scares me?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

I can relate. For the future and even in present I imagine things and have sensations that make me sick feeling and I try to stop the cycle and sometimes I can and sometimes it has to lift on its own in time...having a lot of anxiety now . The unknown, yes...I am trying to place my worries with God and to just trust but my brain fights it with such imagination.

I hope you will feel more like eating soon. I’m sure you will be okay. Sending positive vibes your way((((((((

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

Thank you Starr, you've been a positive person in my LIFE, even though your going through things yourself, unselfish of you to write me.

I'm scared to let my imagination run its course, I read to let it happen. How far and how long it will last?

I feel like this is NEVER going to end till I die? God decides that through. My WISH is getting up one morning and feel care FREE. I only feel FREE when I'm sleeping.

Time is NOT on my side though...its flying by. Don't spend time with my only grandchild. I feel BAD about that.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

You do the best you can and that is good enough. I wish I spent more time with my nieces and nephew but I know I cannot drive to them so I spend time when I can when they come to me. Thank you soooo much, beautiful you, you made my day and am happy to be a positive person in your life. I know, wouldn’t it be great to be free? Some day. So you read to let imagination run it’s course,? well it does make sense to not resist or it may fight back stronger it seems, just if we can I think try to not give it power or too much attention. Easier said than done. I agree God decides but I think we can defidently help to end pain. Every little step forward makes a ripple of change for us. You are strong and a fighter!

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Hi Starr, OMG someone just wrote to me her username is sprinkle 1. She said some horrible things to me, I'm stunned!!! This is suppose to be a site were we come to for support n say how we feel??

She told me things like-Grow Up-Stop blaming others-self torture-feeling sorry for myself...it went on and on.

Believe ME I let her have it!!! See if you can Find her? I still can't believe she said what she said. I'm so PISSTED off. I'm going to write to the owner of this site to see what they can DO??

This is not a site for someone to be treating people who are dealing with a SERIOUS disorder??? She could make it WORSE for them? We're already feeling bad about ourselves?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

No one needs to disrespect others like that. So sorry to hear this happened to you! I can see why you would be pissed. ((((Hug))))

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight

Thanks, I agree. I've only had good experiences in this site.

She needs more than this site/therapy to help her?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3

I don’t know what triggered her or what is going on with her or what she needs. Sad.

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