My 18th didn't kill me!

My 18th didn't kill me!

So it was my 18th birthday yesterday (20th), and I've been dreading it for a very long time. It didn't feel like my birthday, my family didn't do the normal routine they do when it's someones birthday. We are all suffering, so we were all quite depressed and conversations were short. There was a short party, not all of the family were there, which made it a bit weird and unreal for me. I got some nice jewelry, some nice earrings and labret (lip) bars etc... I got a gorgeous birthday cake, the photo I have attached, it has a HORSE on it, and it's PINK! My main present was an Xbox 360, loving it, I'm addicted to Xbox, and now I don't have to take over my OH's lol! Mum's taking me big clothes shopping this week, and I'm getting my hair re-dyed and cut at the hairdressers, I'm quite excited for this...

I have my last official CAMHS appointment on the 29th July, I am being referred to an AMHT (adult mental health team) but I might have to wait a few months before I start working with them, so I'm alone for a few months now.:/ I'm still depressed and anxious, and feeling rubbish physically with constant headaches, gut issues and dizziness, being treated to new things has lifted me a little, but I still feel horrible inside and stressed.

All I can think about is going to the doctors for medication, I need it before I go back to College, preferably this month or early next, but I'm so scared they are going to raise the eyebrow and tell me I don't need it. Do I have a right to demand it, over riding their suggestions? I'm trying to plan how it's going to go, I'm not used to the whole adult 'do it yourself' thing...

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6 Replies

  • Hi Muffin,

    Firstly, happy birthday. :) Glad you enjoyed some nice things and you have some things to look forward to. What colour hair you having? Do tell. ;) The cake looks amazing, so well decorated and such a great work of the horse in the centre (be mindful that someone's name is written on the icing).

    Regards to asking for medication, I can understand the idea of wanting to wait for a few days until you feel ready - so remember there is no rush. :) In the meantime, you've every right to enjoy what's left of your birthday treats and get used to the idea of being 18 - it took me ages to adjust.

    However, I think there comes a time when people go past what I'd call your 'optimum moment for approaching the situation' - there is probably a certain moment in time for when taking an opportunity is perfect - after you get past this certain time (I can't say when this would be), it probably would start to get harder. By all means, don't rush into it if you don't feel ready, and try to relax, but say to yourself - promise yourself, you WILL get it done, and make sure you do it. For example, you could set yourself a rough deadline - e.g. have it done by around the middle of August - or something, just an idea. Some people find giving themselves an exact date helps them, but sometimes it's better not to overplan and add to the pressure.

    Remember, you have nothing to lose. If you go in there with a firm smile on your face and ask for a consultation with the doctor and just tell him/her how you're getting on, it's always worth letting them know how you're doing. While you're there, it'd be worth letting them know what you're psychotherapist said (if you're still in contact with her, you could even ask advice on how to handle the situation), and possibly bringing necessary old posts with you if you have them (I believe I still have the list of symptoms in msgs inbox which you sent me from your old account, I'd be happy to retrieve them for you. :) ) Be honest - whilst being calm - and tell them that you've been really having trouble of late and - after a number of talking therapies - with results that have been limited - you feel you need and deserve medication.

    I must go for tea now, take care.


    Flip flop ;) xxxx

  • Hi muffin

    Happy 18th Birthday hun for yesterday

    The cake looks lovely & someone went to a lot of trouble to have that made just for you & you are worth it

    I am pleased you had some lovely presents & still clothes shopping & hair to look forward to

    Like you say your family are having some problems , & so not everyone was there , but focus on not who wasnt there but who was :-)

    About meds hun , if you are suffering from all these things , I cant see why a GP would refuse you meds if thats what you want , if they did , you could ask why & also you could ask for a second opinion , which is what I would do if I wasnt happy

    Let us no how you go on




  • Many happy returns lovely. Birthday hug x

  • Happy birthday for yesterday :)

  • congrat's on your 18th birthday muffin! the cake looks lovely :)

  • Belated Happy Bithday muffin. :)

    Whatt a fantastic cake, hope you managed to eat some !

    Mimii xx

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