How Do You Establish and Maintain True Friendships When You Have Anxiety Disorder and Agoraphobia?

[suemoni]

Hello Everyone. I have suffered with anxiety disorder and agoraphobia since the age of 19 years. I am now 55 years old. When I was about 40 years old I purchased the "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" Program and it truly changed my life.

I lived in NYC at the time and it was quite difficult for me to travel. When I did travel I had to go by car and I'd travel no further then my comfort zone. I am also physically disabled, so I can't travel without a companion to assist me.

Well once I completed the Attacking Anxiety and Depression program, I built up enough confidence within myself to expand my horizons. I have since happily relocated from NYC to Virginia. Traveling to another state once seemed an impossible feat, but I did it and I have no regrets.

When I first was diagnosed with anxiety disorder I was just 19 years old. It ruined my life. I went from a person who could travel anywhere at any time to a person who could barely stand to look out of a window, let alone go outside.

I had to drop out of college and I lost many of my friends because I was unable to travel and participate in fun activities outside of my home. I was diagnosed back in the early 80's, back then anxiety disorders were virtually unheard of and there were no real treatments and support programs available.

I did however manage to join a Snail Mail Support Group and that helped me a lot. The group connected me with people from all around the word who suffered with various degrees of anxiety and agoraphobia and other types of phobias. The group also helped me to realize my situation was not as severe as some of the other members. That alone gave me the encouragement to try to help myself get well.

I refused to take any type of medication. But my doctor prescribed valium or somethIng similar to valium. That medication made me non functional and my mom made me stop taking it. I was a young adult and that medicine kept me drugged up and asleep.

With the support of my Snail Mail group I created my own type of therapy. By age 21 I was able to move out on my own. The excitement of being independent and living on my own replaced my anxiety with a happy type of anxiety. It was amazing the progress I made on my own.

Back in the early days my anxiety symptoms were debilitating. I could barely look out of a window without feeling anxious and dizzy. I had trouble sleeping or resting at night, because I felt like my heart would stop beating. I would literally walk the floors til' I passed out from exhaustion.

I rarely experienced full blown anxiety attacks at home, my big attacks occurred when I'd travel too far out of my comfort zone. The attacks made me feel as if I were gonna die. I felt dizzy, like I was gonna pass out. I'd break out in a cold sweat and I felt like I was going crazy or like I was out of touch with my surroundings. I would just have to break away and go home. Once I got home the symptoms disappeared.

Living at home with my family was my Safety Zone. I rarely left my safety zone. When I did I felt like I was being tortured. Sometimes I felt as though I'd lose control and do or say something stupid. I was an emotional wreck back then. And YES I contemplated suicide, because I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life living in fear of having an anxiety attack.

I am glad I did not end my life, or else I wouldn't be here today experiencing all that I am experiencing now. NO, I am not CURED, I don't think I'll ever be CURED, But I am able to manage the symptoms. Once I realized the symptoms would not end my life, my anxiety calmed down a lot.

I still have various types of symptoms, but I know the symptoms occur because I am unconsciously scaring myself into an anxiety attack. At age 55 I am experiencing menopause and menopause creates symptoms that are similar to my anxiety symptoms.

Because I am physically disabled I still have to travel with a companion. Problem is I've begum to feel isolated, because many of my previous friends have long moved on with their lives. I am careful and particular with who I allow into my space. You can't just meet people online and right away call them friends. You have to be careful with whom you choose to enter into your space.

Now a days connecting with genuine people is not all that easy, because a lot of people have game and and a lot of drama. My home and space is drama free.

My question is if you have agoraphobia or are physically disabled and are unable to travel "How Do You Deal with the Feeling of Isolation and Loneliness?"

I still have anxiety disorder and my agoraphobia is a lot better, I can and want to travel, but its' difficult to connect with good people who are understanding and willing too take the time to get t know someone who has anxiety disorder.

I've had short long term relationships and friendships, but my inability to jump up and travel anywhere at any time is limited. A lot of people don't wanna be bothered with someone who has anxiety disorder that limits their ability to freely travel. They'll stick around until they feel that it is hindering their lives and that is understandable. I for one Do Not want to hinder another persons life, but at the same time I have a need and a desire to establish solid friendships that don't come with conditions that relate to my anxiety disorder or my physical disability.

I accept people as they are as long as we connect and get a long well, I'll accept a person for who they are. Cause I realize I am not "perfect." Many people look for "perfection" when it comes to establishing meaningful friendships and relationships. I don't want perfection ad long as our hearts, minds and spirits connect that is what is most important to me.

I find that my anxiety disorder has hindered my life more then my physical disability. If I had a choice, I'd ditch the anxiety disorder and stick with the physical disability, but I'm stuck with both and I am ok with that. What is hard on me now is connecting with good people and establishing lasting friendships.

Does anyone else have this type of problem? If so how do you deal with it?

[jessiejakes]

Hi first let me say well done for accepting your anxiety symptoms that's the way forward loose the fear of the symptoms and your halfway there.have you thought of looking into pen pals ? And who knows you may meet some who live near you ,so you could start of by communicating as see how you get along.before meeting up ? Just a thought.

[suemoni in reply to jessiejakes]

Yes, I've thought of that for a good while now, but I haven't acted on the thought just yet, but I think I'll try that rout. I used to connect with real good people via online dating sites. Through the dating sites I made good friends that sometimes turned into relationships. However that was a long while ago. I am now quite leery of online dating services. I am gonna see if I can locate a pen pal or friendship service online. Thank you for the suggestion..