Mind playing tricks

[Jodz]

The last week I haven't been sleeping good , wake so tired and all day I feel I have a hangover . Also things appear when I thought I put them away , my memory is so bad and I feel like I'm in a zombie state . I did loose my niece just on a month ago to suicide . But I just not right . Never had this before ?

[Agora1]

Jodz, I am so very sorry for all the losses you have gone through, most recently your niece. Reading back over your posts, I see you were able to keep it all together for a while but like you said just waiting for the anxiety to rise. How can it not in tragic life events. Not getting good quality sleep is playing into the way you are feeling as well. The memories of all that has happened are alive in your mind. You need time to heal, to accept this is life's plan in that we lose people we love whether young or old. Time doesn't take away the pain but can help soften the blow. Maybe a little therapy counseling can give you some peace of mind so that you can sleep better and not feel so bad. We are here for you Jodz, please take care of yourself. x

[Jodz in reply to Agora1]

Agora1 you write the best words that def helps THANKYOU . It's just hell ATM and yes I think your right I do need to talk to someone about my grief as it's not getting any better . But what my mind has been doing the last week has been frightening . Thanx again your always great support xx

[Vbee]

Ah Jodz I'd been wondering where and how you were going. None of thia shitis helped by the crappy cold winter you're having! I think professional help will give you a perspective that may help you move forward and as agora said, you sleep or lack of, will be making everything worse including your memory! Don't know if you've had kids but when you have month after month of 5 times a night waking to a baby you go gaga and forget ao much stuff - like those stories about mums leaving kids in the car for a day at work thinking they had dropped them at daycare - totally understandable when your brain is fried from no sleep and heaps of stress. Maybe get some sleeping aids or a short course of anti anx meds..... be safe. And sleep. And drink water. And laugh.

⚘🌼🐞🌹

[Jodz in reply to Vbee]

Vbee thanx last 2 nights I have slept much better . Yesterday we went out as my granddaughter is staying and we went to visit dad and as soon as I got in the ute I started to feel sick then my anxiety went through the roof . We got to the pub where we where meeting for lunch and I literally couldn't get out of the vehicle I sat there for 15 mins and took a xanax but took a bit to kick in . The thought of food was yuck . I eventually felt better . But gosh it drains me so that's why I slept well . Yes def need talk to someone as this grief is the worst . Have been through death before my mum passed away 3 years 15th of July and my best friend 2 years in November . But to loose someone that is family and lee my niece was like my daughter to suicide is totally different and so so bloody hard . Thanx for your support it really helps to get on here to talk xx

[Vbee in reply to Jodz]

Awwww luv. Suicide is so complex in its "waste" but also the "what ifs". It sounds like she was in pain that nobody or nothing could touch so perhaps take some solace that she is at peace, pain free and not suffering. Still awful for those left behind. My husband's brother committed suicide 40 years ago and i see that the whole family still bears the scars. Anxiety is a beast in its ability to scare us for no "reason" but at the time the realness of every feeling, heartbeat, ragged breath, shaky hands and freaky madwoman eyes is over powering. But it is our imagination being very good at what it does! Making things up. Tell it to piss off and don't come back for a while coz you need a break!! I've got cataract surgery on Wednesday and the surgeon has said i can't have a xanax the morning of!!! Oh yeah. Fun roller coaster ride coming up for me!!!

[Jodz in reply to Vbee]

Vbee what lee went through for just on 2 years no one could even imagine . Good luck with your surgery. Can they give u something to settle you ? Keep me posted how it all goes x

[Vbee in reply to Jodz]

Thanks i will! They said they can give me extra sedation but for me it's the days and hours in the lead up that puts me into a spin. I'll just dose up on magnesium and fish oil now and hope my relaxation practices kick in! My mum is coming with me so she'll soon boot me up the bum and tell me to stop being a sooky lahlah!!

[Jodz in reply to Vbee]

Yes I understand I get myself worked up days before just going out for lunch like what happened Friday . But you will be ok x👍👊💪

[Daniellesparkles]

My sincerest condolences 😞

[Jodz in reply to Daniellesparkles]

Thankyou it's very hard