Current feelings

[shrs3]

I get so upset when i think back to how carefree i used to be. I loved to go out and have some drinks and socialize. Now, i cant drink without panicking and feeling very derealized. I cant go out because it makes me also feel very out of it and weird spaced feeling. Ughhhh i wish i could go back 5 - 10 years ago💔 I try to stay positive and imagine my anxiety being gone in the future, but the longer i continue to struggle, the harder it gets to remain positive. I just dont know whats going on in my own mind and body. I feel so weird and odd all of the time like i really cant explain it. Its this mixture of spaciness, obsession with existential thoughts and i want it all to stop

[HopingCat]

Yep. That's me. I feel your pain. 4 months of this crap. And I think back of 4 months ago Me and I get so sad and pissed and for some reason this depersonalization/derealization doesn't like when I try to think back. It's so weird and I hate it BUT hang in there because I had this hell before when I was 18 and I recovered. I don't know how but I did and now it's back like a monster.

[alegio in reply to HopingCat]

How did you recover when you were 18?

My daughter has been suffering from anxiety and depression for months with depersonalization/derealization but she does not want to talk to a therapist and does not accept medicines.

[HopingCat in reply to alegio]

I have no clue. I know it took over a year of suffering with no help.

[alegio in reply to HopingCat]

Wow! No drugs, no doctors?!!

And how did you learn about depersonalization/derealization by yourself?

Hope you can help me to know the MOSTER better...

How do you feel today?

[HopingCat in reply to alegio]

I think because I was young I had an eff it attitude. I read distraction is key to this and maybe I was plenty distracted because I remembered still going out with friends even though I felt horrific. I remember quitting my job because the lights made me feel like I was in a dream but I eventually went back. Now I am older and not only do I have to take care of whatever mental healthy I'm having but I also have kids to take care off so I for sure can't entertain myself how I was doing 18 years ago

[alegio in reply to HopingCat]

I wish my daughter could go out with friends, but she has almost nobody and her social anxiety is blocking her =(

[philly101]

I can't drink anymore really either due to getting heart palpitations/ fluttering in my chest. It makes me super anxious when it happens. Therefore I try and stay away from drinking. It takes me about 2 days to get back to my "normal" self. I used to go out and drink all the time and hang out with my friends. Now I can't do that stuff anymore.

[shrs3 in reply to philly101]

Yes forsure the anxiety after the drinking makes it not worth it. I remember alcohol used to calm my anxiety and now its just completely the opposite

[Julieann420]

Same , I can't stand to drink because of the way I start to feel. Which is all panic n anxious. I think about all the care free things I used to do. N now those things won't even cross my mind! I wish there was a magic wand that would make all of this go away. But what I've come to learn about this. Is that you're not alone. It takes a lot of time and patience, to help yourself. It seems like this might last a life time. But it doesn't have too.

[shrs3 in reply to Julieann420]

Yea😞 I just hope that one day comes soon!

[belle24]

reading your post brought me to tears becuse this is exactly how I feel. I had a break down in my car the other day remembering how carefree I used to be but know you are not alone.

[shrs3 in reply to belle24]

Yea its really hard i just want to make it all go away

[Delzek]

I feel your pain,I stopped drinking Not because I had to but I felt I needed to! messed up relationship, health was getting bad ,once I stopped thats when I got panic attacks when I go out! palpitations tight band round my chest pain in my chest feeling physically sick waiting for something terrible to happen you know it will but it doesnt ! you make it back home sit down exhausted fall asleep for a while wake up too tired to move and terrrified of whats going on in your mind your body everything seems surreal ! the Fear is real the Anxiety is Real yet who listens who cares? your DR? your family? I dont tell anyone now because I know they don't understand ! so yes I know exactly how you feel! yet I have not given up! "Yet" I hope I never will! keep fighting eventually we will get there we will get better I am sure of that!

[shrs3 in reply to Delzek]

The same thing with the waking up gives me such bad anxiety. I cant take naps anymore bc i wake up feeling so surreal like i feel numb and cant breathe. Same if im about to fall asleep and then wake back up