The anger that i have inside of me and depression is crazy right now

[Johnnie1234]

Like no one knows right now im super mad and depressed like to the point i just want to tear and freakin just not be here anymore im so mad like what the hell this freaking weed did to my like right now i feel like im going crazy the hell like i cant live how i use to live and want my life back how i use go have it 6 months this way its no way what the hell did this freakin weed did to me mentally abd physically like for real i dont know this is bad I have so much anger built inside of me its like i just want to punch someone in the face and just say f this thing im so emotional with myself right now like 6 months and i still dont really know whats wrong with me

[Lm92]

Your first issue is that you constantly look back on the past. You're wasting energy because it's done. You can't change it. Second, you're not listening to anyone or doing anything to improve your circumstances. You need help. Desperately. You need a counselor you feel comfortable opening up too and sometimes that means visiting several before you have the right one. Then the work is up to you and you alone, no one else can do it for you or force you to do it, but if you ever want relief you have to listen to what they tell you, take their advice, put it into practice and visit them regularly (and I mean once or twice per WEEK, not once a month or less). You have to get your body in a different mindset. Remember the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change. It never does. Take the first step for yourself.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Lm92]

you really dont understand your saying i dont listen to someone but you dont know what im going through espically first time ever experinced this is something daily 6 months and you saying all this like right now im in a stage nobody knows like yeah its my past it happen but dont know how i would fix this its been to long already snd still i see a therapist i saw my primary docter say everything is fine the therapist just listen and tell if i need the meds then take it if not then try to cope with it but im tierd of this crap if you can switch one day to see how i im you wont know honestly

[Lm92 in reply to Johnnie1234]

Sadly I do know. I've suffered daily from anxiety for over 28 years, attempted suicide several times to make the physical pain stop, checked myself into mental hospitals to try to get better, so yes, I do know and I've suffered far longer than 6 months. This isn't about who's suffered more or anything else though, it's about you and the discomfort you're feeling. There's no other advice I can give except what I know has helped me live as normal of a life as possible and what I've seen work for countless other people in the same circumstances. The physical pain of anxiety is VERY real and very emotionally scarring. I've stopped suggesting you take the medication you've been given because I know you have no desire for that, so honestly what's left besides therapy, changing your diet, meditation/yoga/prayer and that type of thing? I get the anger, I do, because it's so hard going 24/7 feeling constantly on edge and worrying that you're going to die at any moment. There's nothing more I can suggest because I and others have already offered up all the tools we have that have helped us. I just say good luck. Hope you find help soon.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Lm92]

i hope soo to im really just tearing right now im down and angry why me why the stupid weed did this to me

[Hidden]

Hello Johnnie,

You seem very angry and frustrated about the way our life is going. It's not fair. It's wrong. I'm sorry I can't do anything to change it. But I listen. Maybe you may want to try your medicine....you're so upset and angry right now, your meds couldn't hurt.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Hidden]

IM REALLY ANGERY RIGHT NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL THIS CRAZY WEED DID TO ME THIS BAD AND WRONG 6 months this way and still dont really know whats going with me i feel like im dying i feel like it messed me up physically and mentally !!

[Hidden in reply to Johnnie1234]

We know Johnnie.

Must be a very bad night for you. Not right. Not fair. But this is the way it is.

Good you see your doctor and therapist

So they said you had two choices. You can take your medicine or you can feel this terrible way. So you choose this way, by not taking your meds.

Hope you are able to calm down a bit and have a better night.

[HopingCat]

It sucks that because you refuse to take your medicine you will never know if those 6 months of hell could have been prevented. Take your medicine. Give it 4 to 8 weeks. What else do you have to lose? You already lost 6 months. Don't make it longer. Who knows maybe the medine will fix you right up. When I got this as a teen from weed I was just like you. I refused to take the medicine and suffered for more than a year. Don't be like me.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to HopingCat]

yeah like i been smoked and im still this way after that one day it messed me up for real and im getting worried because all these months and im still this way and i havent smoked or anything its worrying me alot and im getting angry because of its like i have all the sympthoms in the world physically plain sometimes cant breath my heart feels wierd i get spasms all over my body it moves to different places my head feels wierd like numb my vision unreal or dream like sometimes blurry like my nerves are really bad i could feel it in my stomach going up my throat like say if i get nervous about something or something scared me and made me surpurise or shocked i cant calm down i start twiching like my neck jerks and head and feel shaky i use to not be the way its like i get anxious of everything espically of these physical sympthoms im having daily that wont stop just feel like something its going to happen or im going going drop dead or pass out its crazy i never thought i would get this way after i smoked for two years i had panic attacks before but i continue to smoke sometimes when i use to smoke i could feel my heart racing but sometimes it would have me really ralxed and chill but that day it really hit me like really hard my friend was calm and we smoked from the same joint and till this day he still smoking and nothing its weong with him he still trting to wonder why im still getting these things and feeling this way im upset i cant really enjoy and do things how i wanted its like this is something in my body trying to take control and make me go insane with this i feel like im going to go crazy one day because of this.

[Worried111]

Hi you are very angry ,are you really angry at yourself or other people for how you are feeling,like others have said only you can fix this,but you have to get yourself calmer and want to help yourself,all the anger and ranting will not help,we all do this blame everything wrong in our lives on things that have made us feel bad and on people for not understanding enough but we are all responsible for ourselves,some people live in a bad place for years but still win and get there lives back,turn all that anger into something positive for yourself,all i can say is you need to change how you think to move on from this,carry on thinking the way you are you stuck in groundhog day,its not easy to change thought process,its scary,it takes a hell of a lot of courage ,meds help some people,others choose not to take them,thats up to you,but you have got to work on something to change your current situation,so use your thoughts to get yourself to a better place,because how you think at the moment is only making you feel helpless,plenty people care Johnnie,make yourself better

[Johnnie1234 in reply to Worried111]

Yeah thanks its just i dont understand what is this first time experincing this this happen a lomg time and im still this way i havent smoked been drinking water eating good food i stoped that and still feeling this way i dont know what could this be its really strange

[Agora1 in reply to Worried111]

Beautifully said Worried111 and so much truth in every sentence.