Today, as I was at highschool, i began to have an anxiety attack. Right in front of everyone. My 4 friends were there though, and brought me to a place to get away from everyone. I just started crying, and crying, and crying. I felt like this yesterday. Skip forward a few hours, I'm going home, and the whole drive home I was constantly yelled at by my own mother about how mental i sound and that "if it was normal anxiety i would get it." There were so many other things, and each comment broke my heart, and just when i thought i couldnt cry anymore, I locked myself in my room and i cried harder than yesterday and this morning put together. See i would not let her speak to me about my own disorder and how it works, but I can never speak up to her because she'd only come back harder. I've never felt so alone, like no one understands, like i cant get help, like a failure. She's allowed to have her bad days and cry about them, but when it's me with an actual disorder, it's my fault and im the bad person. She complains that i never speak up about things, and I don't see how she doesn't know why. If i spoke up, im only afraid that I will be lectured with hurtful things about myself just like she does, and i dont want to hear it. I dont understand how she wants me to "get my sh*t together" if she's only making it worse.