I posted before about being stuck on a peak of anxiety I have had for about 10 days now. Usually I have come down from it. Not so far though. This is majorly impacting my life. I see a therapist tomorrow. I had to lie to my family about. I'm going to the "chiropractor." I just have this feeling like I want to get in my car and drive far far away. I feel my life would be simpler and everyone around me would be better off. I could never do that, as i have a 1 yo and she is my everything. My anxiety is making my husband miserable. No one in my family can relate nor do they care to understand, and frankly I don't blame them. I hate to be one of those situations where you fall in a metaphoric hole and drag everyone around you in there with you. Because of this, for the most part I try to not outwardly show any symptoms. But lately I can't help it. My whole body feels like its being electrocuted, and the nausea and insomnia and my ocd behaviors are amplified so badly. I know the ocd is part of my brain trying to cope and make my uncomfortable situation more comfortable through repetition and ritual because I can control and predict it. But god I am just so tired of being conscious of these behaviors and at the same time having no control of my anxiety. I often see people that are so laid back and easy going and half of me can't stand it because they often do what they want and have no fear of repercussion and my type A/ocd just can't handle it. But then the other half of me is so jealous of them. I can't get through one day in life without thinking of the consequences of every action I take. Or thinking about how it will affect the future. I'm always way ahead of myself trying to be as perfect as I can.