Anyone with similar symptoms?

[north_oxford]

Hello, Its been a while since I have posted anything on this website. In the interim I have been posting daily updates in my journal which has helped to an extent.

A bit of history I have suffered from Anxiety for a very long time more specific GAD.

I have been on sertraline which did not work, I was changed onto Prozac which also did not do much. I was then prescribed pregablin which I have not started taking.

I spoke with my doctor again & explained that I have been taking 5HTP which seems to work, well in fact it does however I think my anxiety has become worse.

I know it does when you stop & have withdrawal symptoms, but this is very strange & painful. I posted on this forum some time ago about memory being affected by Anxiety,I was reassured by my doctor that this was a byproduct of Anxiety.

To be honest name it I have experienced it, Body, vision, general health, memory, lying unintentionally due to mind chatter & not being able to focus on a real life conversation. Instead I would be trying to have a conversation with my myself "mind chatter" or sometimes I would literally talk to myself as it I am talking to a non existent person. This could all happen whilst at the same time as having a real life conversation with someone face to face or even over the phone.

I can't seem to snap out of it, I have noticed that there are certain trigger points which would make me think about stuff in the past which was not even an issue then but then I feel I am thinking more logically now but then it feel like that my mind & brain were somewhere else during these conversations.

I think alot of this is do with panic & not being able to actually pinpoint the cause, at the time these issues when they occur would not be even significant but now they seem so real.

Please could someone tell me if they have experience anything similar?. I know I can't be the only person who feels like this.

The Anxiety is driving me crazy, I just don't know how my mind can work like this.

I have realised that I have been suffering from it for a very long time, in fact early childhood. However issues which did not seem an issue at the time seem to be an issue now. Everything seems so real, I don't know what is causing the constant mind chatter & why its so powerful. On some occasions it could be so minor, or other occasions it could be so strong that I actually don't remember what is being said to the real person, this is so painful & upsetting. My family & loved ones deserve so much more, its even effecting how I behave at home.

Many thanks for reading. Wishing everyone all the best.

If someone can relate please can you reply so I know that I am not the only one.

Many thanks

[Agora1]

Hi north_oxford. Everything you have mentioned regarding your anxiety I have felt as well. I think if you asked most of the people on the forum have gone through this too. Constant mind chatter is powerful. I use to be so anxious about an anxiety symptom popping up that I had no idea what people were saying to me. I would forget their name within seconds of hearing it because I was preoccupied with the chatter in my mind. Having had years of therapy on and off has made me understand why I am like this and what my triggers are. Knowing this I'm come to the conclusion that for myself it stemmed from childhood. As great as it was, I was programmed to be this perfect, obedient little girl whose parents would be proud of. It was deeply ingrained in my mind that I could not think for myself for fear of making a mistake as I got into the teen years. And so anxiety took over. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to feel that your family and loved ones deserve much more. You are a product of your upbringing. Go forward, be strong and prove to yourself you are the best you can be. No explanations needed.