When you don't know what's real 😶

[JoMarie5]

So in June I got sick and it obviously triggered health anxiety. They said I had an infection and it would clear up . I sadly started paying attention to my digestive track and stool a lot more . I feel like I have become very sensitive to anything. The Ct scan they did in June was clear except for the lymph nodes in my stomach. It said on the paper form the er to re access in 6-8 weeks but my doctors GI and Primary care didn't feel like it was needed because they said it meant nothing . They said there was more rick of scanning me again then actually finding anything wrong . However I can't stop thinking about it . They have done blood test and stool samples everything checks out . So two weeks ago I must have ate something bad because I woke up doing diarrhea and I threw up once . I haven't thrown up again . I've been having heart burn a lot and I worried that I have something that is progressing in my body and I'm not being taken seriously. I went to see my doctor last Monday and she once again assured me that I'm fine and if I had any type of cancer I would have been dead by now because it's very aggressive . I have now lost weight again I feel like I can't eat and after I do I keep looking at the clock thinking 3hours after I eat is when my stomach starts to feel funny idk what to do . I'm starting to lol at myself like I'm wasting away. Does everyone feel like me ? Like the doctors are wrong ? Can my mind really be causing this ? But what if they say I'm doing this to myself and I'm really not ? I'm so scared and worried.

[Angep Star]

Hi jomarie, health anxiety is awful I know. If all the medical experts are telling you you're ok then why Don't you ask for some counciling? I think it would help you to be able to talk through your fears with someone looking that.having said all that don't be afraid to go back to the doctors again if you want reassurance. Hypnotherapy and meditation would help you too I'm sure. Also taking sa long walk and listening to music as you do so. Every time you get those scary thoughts tell yourself I'm fine and I am well and today will be a good day for me. We have to make our subconscious believe that because all it hears otherwise is all the negative stuff we keep telling it!! I hope you can get some comfort and reassurance soon.

[JoMarie5 in reply to Angep]

I went to the GI today and she said she was going to do a ultrasound on my gallbladder and she would be more than happy to to my mind at peace with a colonoscopy and upper scope. She also said I Don't need either one really. I have an appointment with a physiologist. My doctor proscribed me Prozac but I'm afraid to take it .

[Agora1 in reply to JoMarie5]

Hi JoMarie5, With one hand extended we want help and with the other hand we are afraid to take medication. It's anxiety playing with our thoughts. I hope you will go with the non invasive ultrasound for your gallbladder. If your doctor feels a colonoscopy and upper scope aren't warranted right now, respect her judgment. Good Luck with your appointment with the physiologist. Think again about starting the Prozac. It may help at this time to change your thought process on your health. Let us know how you do. Have a good day!

[Angep Star in reply to JoMarie5]

Well I hope the results will give you some reassurance. You don't have to take the tablets!! It's your choice.

[JoMarie5]

I do feel nervous. I'm shaking all over scared of I don't know what. This all happened back in June my anxiety was very high then and now I feel likes it's back to the dark place I don't want to be .

[Angep Star]

No body wants to be in that place!! I know your frightened. Find something you like to try help you relax a bit. Think back to what made you feel happy. You need to use distraction techniques too to take your mind off your worries.

[JoMarie5]

Is it possible that I have worked myself up so much into believing that I'm sick I actually made my body like this ? I feel like I'll eat a little bit and wait to feel sick from it .