I've been keeping the good(GAD) news to myself because I fear if I tell it something bad will happen. But that's selfish(here's a pic of me)

I've been keeping the good(GAD) news to myself because I fear if I tell it something bad will happen. But that's selfish(here's a pic of me)

I haven't posted in while. So hello all. First I wanted to ask am I the only one who keeps their good news or positive news to themselves because they fear if they say something or tell someone about it it will bring them bad luck? I have always been like this. I think is is not a good way to live but I've always been like this. I don't like telling what I have going on, good plans, good news because subconsciously I feel I will jinx(bad luck) myself and something bad will follow. And not only have I been this way but even now as I'm working on breaking bad habits and practicing change, it seems so hard to change because I fear what could happen. So on to why I'm here today. I've been contemplating and pondering so hard on sharing the news about my updates on my anxiety and how things have been going for me out of fear that if I tell it I will bring myself bad luck and something bad may began to happen again.

But here goes. Well for the last two months I can really say my anxiety has come around. All the reading, and tips, and knowledge I've gained. Also reading post from you all here like Agora1 and Beevee mostly there post have really uplifted me and helped me along with me continuously praying and my boyfriend motivation, and just making myself knowledgeable of anxiety things have really gotten better.

Yes yes I still have my days because I'm still in my beginning stages of recovery. But I can truly say I have just as much good days as bad now. And that's much better than what I was going through just 3 months ago. So I will list what I mean.

I started in july having bad anxiety. Symptoms such as: chills, fever bouts, head sensation, wierd brain sensations(thought was a tumor), tingling in fingers, feets, burning sensation in legs sometines, dizziness, unbalance, blurred vision, dots floating in vision, derealization, insomnia, upset stomach, nausea, acid reflux, ibs, and these where all from anxiety symptoms not to mention when I'd have mild panic attacks.

Well after finally fighting through it I'd say mid October is when things finally took a turn for the better for me. Took things one day at a time. First targeting me working on my appetite that I lost completely. Finally gained that back. Then I practiced acceptance. What did it for me was that final doctors appointment at the kidney specialist (which was a scare that helped bring on my anxiety) which turned out to be fine. No kidney problems. Had two kidney specialist give me a verdict before I finally let that go and believe them. Then I had one more gp appointment for a pap smear that all came back great. In fact the gp said I had an excellent results as far as my blood work, colesterol, no std. Yaay. So after that which was in early November I than began to finally start accepting that this could all be anxiety. Once I did that I literally felt week by week myslef began to calm down from the worries and fears that's kept my anxiety high which kept the symptoms coming constantly.

I even finally started back work. Just a few days here and there. But I started back. Mainly though because I knew Christmas was around the corner and I needed to get at least a few extra dollars to give my kids a decent Christmas. But yes I still had my days even going back to work. Subconsciously wondering and worried and thinking the worst but I made it through day, which helped me even more to conquer my anxiety because it made me realize if I'm still standing regardless of my symptoms then I'm gonna be ok.

So I'd say by late November I began to feel myself be me again. I'm still not 100 percent yet but I'm almost there. I can continue writing but I don't want to be long winded. Feel free to ask questions. But I can really say for those having doubts and fears about this anxiety, thinking of death constantly, can't eat, can't sleep, thinking the worst, I've been there, crying constantly I mean literally crying every single day, if I can come around you can to. But let me repeat I'm not 100 percent yet but I notice a big difference and I did it with only ta king medication for exactly 37 days and I quit because I felt it was making my anxiety worse. But basically without any meds. But I know I still have a long way to go. I still have my worries, and fears some times especially when my symptoms come on I start question it but I just let it be. I let my thoughts run and keep it moving, well most of the time I keep it moving. Some days I do sit around and let it consume me but its not as bad as it used to be because I've practices convincing myslef that it's only anxiety. You've made it the his far you will be ok just let it pass.

So to all of you on here I know how majority of you feel. I wish us the best througg this. Anxiety is a devil. I know. But we got to fight the good fight. 😌 Feel free to ask questions.

Oh and even right now I'm having a not so good day that I'm having my thoughts and worry a little but I will keep going about my day.

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  • Wow so very happy for you!! Thanks for making me feel hopeful. Wishing you continued success with containing this beast, anxiety. Hugs

  • Yes it's definitely a beast. Thank you and I wish you the same through this.

  • wonderful story Icanbeathis2016 :) it gives inspiration to us all, and proves we can overcome anxiety.

  • Thank you. I'm glad it inspires someone. I wish you the best.

  • Hi Icanbeatthis2016, How wonderful to read a positive post from you. In doing this, you will help a lot of others who question if their symptoms are really anxiety. We may have given you some positive feedback to get you going in the right direction but remember, you were the one who had to do the work. So congratulate yourself on a job well done. You are more than on your way to the finish line. Also remember (and this has nothing to do with spreading the good word) there will be slide backs from time to time. Not to worry. Accept that it is just a test, let it go and continue on with the day. You are strong once again. You are now in control. How happy I am for you. xx

  • Thank you so much even just your response is helping me through my little rough moment right now. And you are completely right, I will accept this is a test and keep it moving. 😊

  • Tell people good news. Don't let the anxiety/GAD/OCD or whatever stop you from sharing good news. Not sharing good news because you think it will make something bad happen is part of an anxiety disorder. Don't let it win. Share your good news and live with that uncomfortable feeling that something bad will happen. The feeling will soon subside. Don't give it that kind of power over you. Living with an anxiety disorder is misery. When something good happens shout it from the mountainside!

  • Thank you so much for that. I can't even believe I've become so set in my ways of this that Im worried after telling this good news. But you're right. I will practice these habits of sharing good news.

  • WOW...Icanbeathis2016, if anyone looks "all together" it's you. Meeting you, I would never guess you had anxiety. This is what makes it hard for others to believe, because we look fine. The door is open now for you to pursue your dreams. Next time you worry a little, just take look in the mirror and tell yourself, you can do it all. With no doubts. Thanks for the picture. It's nice meeting you. xx

  • Thanks so much. One day at a time 😊

  • Thank you for this! Made me feel a little better. I am tired of this feeling, been going on for about two weeks and it's so depressing and sucks. I just want my life back and be worry free and be able to hang out with my friends and family. Thanks for the message.

  • You're welcome. I hope it helps.

  • So happy for you & lovely picture, and thank you for giving us a bit of hope xx

  • You're welcome and thank you. I hope it inspired you even just a little

  • I have also been afraid to be to happy because then I think something is going to happen. Thank you for your post.

  • You're welcome. I know the feeling. I'm glad I can relate to someone else

  • It's amazing as looking at that fabulous photo of you there is no way anyone would ever guess how you have been suffering inside

    Im so happy for you that you are so well on the road to recovery now

    You have a great attitude and I know as your name says you can beat this

    I know exactly what you mean about being scared to say something as it may jinx it

    Loads and loads of luck and love to you on your journey to get well

    Lovely to read your post and Im sure you will inspire others

    Have you heard of Hygge ? That's the way to go to really get yourself back to great health

    😘😘😘😘

  • Thank you so much. I'm glad to see you can relate. I don't know why I've always been like that. Scared to tell good news or plans for the future that are good out of fear I'll jinx myself. But I hope to inspire anyone with my post.

    No I've never heard of Hygge? What is it?

  • I'm sure you have inspired a lot of people today

    I totally understand what you mean

    Hygge is a life philosophy started in Denmark/ Norway it's pronounced hoo-gah and it translates to cosiness It's all about being kind to yourself seeing pleasure in simple things like just sitting having a coffee or watching a sunset etc Thinking of things you are grateful for just thinking more about you I know there are books on it I think with anxiety we can be very tough on ourselves this is kind of stepping back and seeing the good in ourselves and things in our life

    I do something everyday just for me I definitely feel different and better for it

    πŸ˜‰x

  • This sounds like a wonderful way to attack life moving forward. I have begun to try and be more nice to myself, trying to think positive. I've been such a pessimistic person all my life or growing up that it's not funny. Not becauseI wanted to be that way or think it's ok to be that way but I've just grown to never see the bright side of things, I always look at things realistically for the side of things that will disappoint or go wrong. I guess because if I already think of it like this or already prepare my mind for it I won't be so hurt or disappointed when it actually happens. Plus I've always been the type to keep things to myself. Not because I wanted to because truth be told I'm bursting inside to tell my thoughts ,idea ,my dreams, my wishes to people all the time but then I immediately go to thinking we'll it may not happen for me, won't come true. But anyway yes this philosophy is great that I need to practice great techniques as such moving forward. And yes I should start one thing one day at a time like enjoying the small things in life, really living in the moment of it. And next treating myself a little more. There was this one book a tech er gave me months ago that basically is about what you're saying. It's about being about "bucket filler". Do something nice, say something nice, do random acts of kindness, enjoy the small things, and watch how it makes you feel. Spread love through bucket filling. But thank you for this. I will look more into Hygge

  • I've heard of that bucket filler I'm on a weight loss forum and every day we do a little challenge

    1) 3 things we are grateful for today

    2) Something nice that happened in the past 24hours

    3) 3 things we did for someone else It can be something simple like saying thank you

    4) A nice happy memory from anytime in your life

    5) Exercise 20 mins anything walking or whatever

    6) Calm the mind Can be something simple like deep breathing

    7) Something lovely we did for ourselves today

    I've been doing it since Nov it has made me feel so different

    Please try and be kinder to yourself and think about you more You are a beautiful person Don't be afraid of having and wanting a dream go for it I hope this will be a new start for you

    Take care xx

  • Thank you. I will work on that. And even this challenge looks like a great start for me. I can see myslef from time to time looking back over this post to review this to make sure I work on this challenge myslef. Peace and blessings to you too.

  • As you are on this forum you can go on the Weight Loss one - I know you don't need to lose weight - but you could have a read of everyone's posts and I'm sure you would really enjoy them and get some comfort ? If you just look through the posts you will see it under Happiness Challenge

    I've been in incredible pain in my hip since May had to have MRI injections physio etc nothing was working painkillers weren't touching it and I got to the point where I thought I'm going to have to go to the doctors to get some anti depressants That week I found the challenge and it literally changed my life I went back to my doctor not for anti depressants but to ask if there was anything else that could be done Within 2 weeks I saw a hip specialist and I'm booked in for a hip replacement in March I'm in pain but I know it will be sorted I feel positive and grateful now

    I know it will help you

    I'd be happy to do it with you each day if you would prefer to do that ?

    Peace and blessings to you too

    πŸ˜€

  • I'm glad you are able to learn to live through your pain until it gets fixed. I wish you well through this but yes as I look over this challenge I can see how having a motivational partner can help. Whenever you are able to take out time to check up with me I'd be happy for.

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