Well here goes. Yall are about to find out just how bad this insomnia and anxiety and stress plays on my mind. So I was trying to rationalize with myself because I'm having such a terrible time trying to sleep so I was saying,"ok think about this. You so afraid to sleep because you think you gonna die. The syptoms of panic makes you feel like it. Ok but think about this. All thsee days have come and gone of you thinking like this and yet you are still here. If you were actually dying or ill as this anxiety makes you think you are you would have been dead by now. You've been able to sleep with no problems before so why now. If it was meant for you to die you would die rather you are asleep of even if you are awake." So ok, I was thinking like this to help myslef. But then here goes my irrational thoughts that bring me right back. I than began to think, "well people who are sick with cancer, brain tumors, or whatever illness I have pretty much diagnosed myslef with they do die in there sleep. Most sick people usually go like this. No one ever really dies when they are awake which is why I fight to stay up so much." So now I'm back in this vicious cycle of thoughts that's once again keeping me from relaxing and trying to sleep. 😢😢😢😭😭 I can't believe I've gotten this bad. I want sleep but I'm so afraid out of my mind. And every time I get those adrenaline rushes when I try to relax and sleep it scares me thinking my breath is about to be taking away. Oh dear God. Please forgive me for becoming this bad off.
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