Guilty over childhood.

I physically harmed someone when I was a child 10-11 (pushing, punching, etc.) This was all one sided and that's why I feel so incredibly guilty.

I felt so bad after it happened.

I have told people about it though and so did she in high school so I guess she's over it by now.

It's triggering my intrusive thoughts and I feel like such a bad person. I feel like this makes me crazy even though it's honestly the only bad thing I've ever done.

It's eating me alive. How do I let go and forgive myself?

Please don't judge me.

- Chloe.

[Hidden]

Hello

We all have done things that we regret especially when we are Children and as a child we are learning right from wrong and you obviously learnt that the behavior you were displaying was wrong so why not forgive yourself , or shall we say forgive that child back then that was learning what is not the right thing to do !

Sounds like you have punished yourself for long enough and time to put this down to an experience you won't repeat again and let go and let it be where it belongs and that is in the pass

The only other thing that might help is do you still see or have contact with this person ?

You could send a nice little Sorry card if you do explaining that back then you were lost and your behavior towards them was unacceptable and as you have grown up and become a better person you realize this and want to send your sincere apologies for any pain you may have cause them and that you wish them the best life they could possibly wish for

Or if you think it might cause more pain for them if you contacted them then write a letter with what you would like to say to them if you could have had the chance today to speak with them , once you have then take that letter and maybe go outside and have a little fire and throw the letter into it and as it burns and the flames dance visualize that is all the pass going where it should do in thin air and then it is all gone and you move on with your life guilt free

Take Care x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! Your comment helped me a lot. I think I should write my emotions down and how shameful I feel. Thank you for not judging and the advice. I know it was so long ago and I was a child but my OCD won't let go and it keeps replaying in my head. I'll try hard to let go though.

- Chloe.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Chloe

I suffer with OCD so I totally understand as well as having OCD for years I know how crafty it is in making us believe things so it can keep a hold of us and please believe me know one can judge as none of us are perfect and it is ok to let go of this now , your ocd won't want you to and that is the thing that is now holding you back and not what happened when you were young , when you get these thoughts try and separate what is actually reality and what is your ocd trying to control you

Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to let go of this one x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. This helped a lot. I will take your advice.

[Stay_strong85]

Hi, I know it hurts...I too have done similar stuff and carried that guilt and pain many many years. I finally learned to forgive myself, we were only children(not saying it was ok). I was sexually molested when I was 3 and 4 so I think it came out later through me hurting other kids, like pushing or pinching or scratching, etc. It is a very hard thing to cope with inside ourselves, but God is good and He too forgives you and us and is here for us. Give it to God, and forgive yourself. You care and have remorse because your heart is good. So realize that.

[Hidden in reply to Stay_strong85]

You have replied to my posts before and what you write always helps. I grew up in a violent household, my dad was an alcoholic so maybe that's why I did what I did. I know it was an awful thing to do but it only happened once and I've left school altogether now and I would never ever do anything like that again.

You're right though. We were kids. I'm going to try and let go.

Thank you for not judging.

- Chloe.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Hidden]

You're welcome. Don't be so hard on yourself. Yes, growing up that way is very traumatizing for a child. It is ok. You made it, we made it, and your heart is in the right place. We are all forgiven, just don't forget to forgive yourself.😏😚🌻🌼

[Hidden in reply to Stay_strong85]

Thank you! 😊🌻