SEVERE ANXIETY! AM SO CLOSE TO GIVING UP!

[Bardie1494]

Hi all,

When I was 16 I experienced severe anxiety and panic attacks which lasted 9 months before i got better. I was put on pristiq and that helped tremendously along with a few sessions with a psychologist. About a year later I started having panic attacks again. My meds got changed to effexor and I became panic free again. And I had been for 5 years. (I'm 22 with 1 1/2yr old twin girls) until 3 months ago when anxiety and panic attacks took over my life worse than it ever has before. In September (when this bout started) I went to my gp who reffered me to a psychologist. All she did was tell me that what I'm feeling is normal. She didn't really seem to care and we didn't really connect (waste of $350) after searching online I came across a web page that encouraged you to get angry at anxiety and to try and make yourself have a panic attack and as a result face your fear kinda thing. Which actually worked. No matter how hard I tried to make myself have a panic attack I never had one, which made me feel like I was in controll. I felt great nearly instantly! Though this only lasted a week before it all spiraled out of control and took over me again. I'm really not coping. It's been 12 weeks of constant anxiety and panic attacks and I can't handle it anymore! I cant even eat, i havnt eaten a thing in 8 days. I get maybe 3 hours of sleep and wake up at 2am everymorning and can't get back to sleep so i have to get up and start my "day" in the middle of the night with constant adrenaline surging through my body. I look at my babies and cry because they deserve someone so much better. I feel sorry for them. I can't even take them to a park because I'm too scared to leave my fu#&ing house they are stuck here suffering with me and it breaks my heart. I frequently find myself thinking who the best person to take care of them will be when I'm gone. I feel like writing my Wil and stating everything I want for my girls and just ending my life. I seriously cannot live like this any longer let alone for the rest of my life. I cant stop crying... I'm so depressed and so so scared 😢 I just want it all to go away!! Nothing feels real anymore 😭

[Matt090985]

I agree that anxiety is bad I have it severely too. Blurry eyes. Light headedness it's horrible I think to myself I've been through this before I can get through it again just ride the symptom out it will slowly go promise you it gets easier. I got mine the other day at work where I served a customer then come over funny for no reason. Sometimes nothing can trigger it

[Carla89]

Aw reading ur post has broke my heart actually in tears reading it ur babies need you keep strong and keep at the Doc ur not a bad mum u didn't choose to be this way as long as ur kids are loved clothed and fed then uv done ur job I'm the same haven't took my kids out in almost a year as I'm scared of going out, and u feel a failure as a mum and think it's pointless ur still here feeling this way and ending your life is easy but yeah it's maybe easiest way out but it's ur children that are left suffering for the rest of there lives that's what stopped me I don't sleep either up all night no sleep feeds anxiety and the cycle goes on try Meditation if not try taking little steps go down the street with kids in pram and bk next day walk shop don't have to go further each day get a family member to come with u and if u have a panic attack stay we're you are until it passes u gave to feel it to get rid of it hope this helps ino it's easy for me to say I'm like you but I try doing something I fear atleast twice a week x if u need to chat I'm here x