understanding it all: So I finally talked to... - Anxiety Support

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understanding it all

AlexaLee7811 profile image
29 Replies

So I finally talked to my therapist and she did recommend a low dosage of zoloft. I am just so tired of the mood swings, always wanting to sleep, worrying constantly ,focusing on the small negatvie things about my partner. I love him dearly and I want what we had back where I was excited to see him and looking forward to other things. I have no motivation to go see my horse or cook or really do much. I slept so well last night and I feel exhausted still. Once I took a xanax though last night everythin disappeared for me. The thougths the worry the sick stomach and I was enjoying my time around him not even focusing on it. And when I did focus on it it I couldn't even actualy focus on it I was enjoying us too much. There was a rare moment i had a small bit of anxiety like ugh my goodness you keep trying clothes on but now that I tink of it it doesn't bother me. I am trying and working so hard to fix this stupid shit. I know it gets so bad this time of year and I am going to see how it is in the spring and summer when it gets nice out and the days get longer because that is when I always feel a ton better about life. Ilove him so incredibly much I cannot even describe how much I do. But I truly think I have a very high Seasonal depression due to this.

I was so tired and defeated and nothing excites me. I don't want to go out I just wanna stay in bed and sleep and it sucks! ITs the days the sun isn't shining when I get this way and well with winter coming it won't be shining lol. I just wan the old me back. I know I have been this way before when younger but brushed it off as oh you're just tired or its cold out you just want to sleep. I hate hate hate that I have this and it is embarrassing how it is effecting me so much. My boyfriend is sooo supportive and the most amazing mature loving man I could ever ask for! He would do anything for me and talks me through it asks how my therapy sessions go all of that and I cannot and WILL not lose him because of this anxiety telling me so. I will have moments where I am with him and even think what if I had to end it now and there is such a gut wrenching im about to cry and puke and just die feeling I know I dn't want to and it is the anxiety talking. I just wish I didn't have to take medication for it but if I do because it is an anxiety/depression for thsi time of year Iam willing to do whatever it takes. When I took a small dosage very small dosage of xanax I felt 100% me again. I felt alive and happy and cooking and singing and all smiles when I saw my boyfriend and just so excited to kiss him again (I was sick with the 24 hour bug the other day) and it was just perfect and we had dinner together and he brought up something I knew would have annoyed me if I was not on something but because I was I felt no annoyance I talked with him and we had a wonderful evening and then fell asleep on the couch watching tv together. I just don't want to be relying on medication the rest of my life but I am hoping this is just a seasonal thing as it seems to be. Not with just relaitonships but friendships too this is usually when I end a lot of my frinedhips with CLOSE friends or get into fights and just tell them off which I know in my head I can't do in a relationship. I just feel defeated and exhausted and just tired of it all.

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AlexaLee7811
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29 Replies
BerryK profile image
BerryK

Hello!!! I too suffer from the same thing. My therapist gave me medicines but i am so scared to take them because i like yourself do not want to rely on meds to make me feel better. I just want to be normal again too!!! My anxiety creeps up on me at night. It wakes me up out of my sleep and then hits me like a ton of bricks. I am trying relaxation methods to help me cope. I also look in the mirror at myself and say nothing is wrong, you're not going to die (cause at that moment it feels like you are) and try to ensure myself girl you got this!!! It has been helping for the past two days. Hopefully, it will help longterm. Will keep you in my prayers!!

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to BerryK

Aw thank you you're so kind ! When did yours s start for you and why ? So far medication seems to be helping since mine technically is so minor but I know it can get bad and in taking supplements all that's to help I just wanna feel me again it's ridiculous how draining I take is to be working on it daily but I am so much better than I ever was in past relationships and I want to fix it so I don't ruin what I have either . I love being around him kissing him I usually initiate it or whatever I want it and yet I have this doubt and I just want to think of my boyfriend and not worry . When I took the Xanax I felt me again I was excited to hear from him I was laughing and just so happy and excited again it was weird

Beevee profile image
Beevee in reply to AlexaLee7811

Hi Alexa

If you stop fighting all the negative thoughts and feelings and just let them be there, they will eventually disappear. Fighting is exhausting and doesn't get you anywhere because it reinforces the message that something is wrong so your mind and body stay on full alert I.e. Feel anxious all the time which creates more of the same thoughts and feelings. It is a vicious circle and can only be broken if you do the opposite of fighting the anxiety symptoms and do absolutely nothing about them. Watch the negative thoughts about your loved ones come and just let them go without trying to figure them out, push them away etc. Just observe them and don't get involved (fighting) because this is like trying to put out a fire using petrol.

I used to have bad relationship anxiety about my wife and could hardly look at her because of the fearful reactions. I felt my only option was to leave it was that bad. I dreaded coming home from work. However, I learned that these thoughts and feelings were not real and a symptom of anxiety and practised leaving them alone, instead of staying away all night trying to think it all through and why I felt like I did which got me nowhere.

One of my favourite quotes I came across during my recovery was "You won't get better until you stop trying to get better." It is all the trying that keeps the anxiety alive. The trying to get rid of the thoughts and feelings, the trying to fix yourself etc etc. Give up trying to do something about the anxiety and do the opposite by doing nothing about the thoughts and feelings. Hold no respect for them because they won't be there when you recover. It is just anxiety making you think and feel this way.

By the way, I didn't leave home which taught me another lesson. Don't make any life changing decisions if you suffer from anxiety. It is just one great big con trick. A good one but still a con.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

Thank you so much ! That's so insightful and so true so if it comes up don't try to feed it and knit pick apart rather just say ok and move on ?

IM SO flag you got through that ! That's what my anxiety is doing to me now. I love bding around him and I know I get clingy when my anxiety comes up too and I love just kissing him and holding him and just being like this is perfect . But then the thoughts jump in like are you sure or do you really like being with it how do you know ? It's like it's looking for solid facts when you don't have that in a relationship . But I'll try that when it comes up I'll be like ok that's nice think of whatever you want to there anxiety and just think of something else ?

What did your anxiety make you think ?

Beevee profile image
Beevee in reply to AlexaLee7811

At first,it started off with health anxiety then switched on to my relationship. The anxiety makes you doubt everything and generally focuses on things that really mean something to you. I remember lying awake all night on many occasions wondering if I loved my wife because of the way I felt. I'd try to figure if all out and try to justify the thoughts in my own head. It was exhausting. My fears about the relationship got worse to the point that I would fear her calling me or going home after work. I never used to feel like that. I learned that the thoughts were not me per se, they were a symptom of anxiety and not real. They certainly felt real and I made the mistake by giving them lots of respect and believing them. Over time, my new attitude started to pay dividends and like you, had moments where the anxiety just wasn't there. This made it easier for me to accept the negative thoughts when they came and to leave them alone and let them have their say in my head without doing anything about them. It took a little while to see through the lies but got easier and the thoughts started to lose their power over me. If I had to put a label on it, I probably had generalised anxiety (GAD) but after learning about it, it was fairly easy to let go of the thoughts that didn't mean much to me but harder to let go of thoughts that did resonate (health, relationship) so kept trying to battle those thoughts which just made it worse. Nowadays, I'm not even sure I get those same thoughts. If I do, they simply don't register in my conscience. Further proof, if you need it, that the thoughts and feelings are a symptom of anxiety. They are not who you are and just one massive con trick. Don't fall for it!

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

You're post has been so inspiring to me because that's exactly what I do I wonder if im loving just because im a caring person but then I know if I don't like someone oh I know and they do too . But you're right it's like when we fight and reconvince our anxiety it is like we fear it instead of saying yeah you're there and you know what go ahead but I won't let you make me fight you or worry about you or be fearful of thinking of my boyfriend in fear my anxiety will come up because sometimes it doesn't and I'm super excited to see him and I love him so much but other times it pops up and I try to make it go away instead now I'll be like hey you're there but idc . Is that what you're talking about ? To just be like ok you're there but I'm not fighting whatever you're doing because I don't believe you ? Was there times you would be around your wife and you would look st her trying to find things wrong or like checking if your anxiety would come up or in a sense reassuring your anxiety like hey I kissed her in not going crazy ? How did you come Bout this way to in a sense get through your anxiety ?

BerryK profile image
BerryK in reply to Beevee

Very inspiring!! I'm praying for better days like that.

BerryK profile image
BerryK in reply to Beevee

Wow!!! Well said Beevee. I will be so glad when I get to that point of this anxiety.

BerryK profile image
BerryK in reply to AlexaLee7811

Mine started really bad after i suffered two losses. My dad passed January this year and i had a miscarriage about 6mos later. After that my anxiety just spiraled out of control. Still not taking the meds though. I just want to be able to get better on my own or at least find a natural supplement to help.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to BerryK

I am so sorry! Those are very hard to get through but I hope you can take something away from this and remember to not fear it. I am feeling so much better lately it is great!

Beevee profile image
Beevee

Yep, Your understanding of acceptance is correct. I would find myself in "scanning mode" looking for a reaction and then being shocked when I got one! The worst for me was having feelings of repulsiveness about her appearance. That really hurt me and caused great anxiety which then led me to not wanting to look at her. I can tell you now, it was all complete bollocks but bought into the lie big time which caused all the problems.

Like I said, knowledge about anxiety is key to recovery. If you truly understand that it is all one big confidence trick, it makes it so much easier to accept ("whatever/don't care attitude) and this is all it takes to recover. I make it sound easy and know it is very hard but not impossible. Everyone has it within themselves to recover. It is just a natural emotion that has been magnified to the extent that we have become afraid. When you recover, you may still feel anxious but it will be appropriate to the circumstance and not grossly exaggerated. In other words, you won't care about feeling anxious and that is what it is all about. Not caring if you have anxiety or not and carrying on with your day. Over time, it gradually disappears and you may not even notice it going...because you have passed caring about it.

At first, it was a case of faking it until I made it (e.g. Kissing my wife but still feeling very uneasy in doing so). One piece of advice is to do the exact opposite to what the anxiety is telling you to do or not do, as the case may be.

Apologies if this post might come across as a bit random. I could talk for hours about anxiety and feel quite passionate about it but Watching I'm a celebrity on tv with my wife and kids!

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

Oh no I'm so sorry I didn't mean to interrupt !! Enjoy your time I truly greatly appreciate your help and I'm going to start doing thst because thsts exactly how I am !! I'm just going to be like ok whatever you're there bring it on I'm waiting and do the exact opposite of my anxiety and most of the time I do because of how much fun I have with my boyfriend and how happy he makes it it's easier to do the oooosite . But I'll start just being like wharwver anxiety you'll come because you hit it spot on im afraid to do things in fear of my anxiety coming up and so I focus on it think of worse possible scenarios and sadly it happens this time of hear for me with the weather and my parents divorce and I get more depressed too . But I'm going to take your advice to heart and follow your posts too! May I ask how long it took did you I know it differs per person and you can respond whenever ! If you have any more advice or even stories I'd love to hear them !

you really have inspired me and I'm gonna really use that advice because that's a great way to think of it instead of feeding it

Thank you so incredibly much ❤️❤️

Beevee profile image
Beevee

To be honest, I'm not really paying much attention to the TV although I do like Scarlett from Gogglebox. I think she's hilarious but she doesn't realise it.

Recovery took me a while or putting it another way, it took me a while through trial and error before I was fully and genuinely accepting all the symptoms without resistance. Once I truly felt myself letting go, it probably took several months for my nerves to de-sensitise and get back to my old self. Throughout it all, I carried on working which was very hard at times. On some days, I couldn't sit still at my desk because I was feeling uber stressful and thought it must be the job (another trick pulled by the anxiety). I dealt with this aspect of my life in the same way that I dealt with anxiety in general. I just let the anxiety do what it wanted to do and carried on regardless of how crappy I felt or how terrifying the thoughts were. By learning about anxiety, I knew that the stress I was feeling at work was grossly exaggerated (lost count at the number of days I feared going to work), along with all the other symptoms and not in proportion to what was happening in reality. That probably delayed my recovery too but knew I had to go through it all to feel peace on the other side. It takes time to build up a buffer/resilience to the stress but the more I did the normal stuff, the more normal things became. I avoided nothing, especially if that little voice was saying "what if?"

I learned all of this by reading a book called Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes and a website called Anxiety No More. I'm aware that there are lots of other good stuff out there on the internet/YouTube and advocate anything that follows the teachings of Dr Weekes which is all about acceptance. It isn't a technique that you do, it is a natural cure that relies upon Mother Nature to heal the mind and body in the same way it heals other ailments. Sufferers just need to understand what is happening to them and why and then let nature do the healing. Unfortunately, fighting anxiety just gets in the way of this process thus dealing recovery. The mind and body is waiting to recover, no matter how long or entrenched a sufferer may feel. They just need to step aside and stop trying to do something about their anxiety. The less you do, the more you recover.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

You're so

Right not that this is any big thing but I just tried that when I was thinking of my boyfriend and it started coming up and I legit said come on I'm

Waiting and it all went away haha .

I will look into that book ! Did this randomly just happen to you one day you woke up and all these thoughts came rushing ? And since anxiety clings to the things that mean the most to you it clung to your relationship and health ? I'm so happy for you it's gotten better and I want to try this and work at it and not be so hard on myself too that it will take time and I'll have good and bad days . I already feel happier telling my anxiety I'm

Not afraid of it anymore and I'll let it come because I know it's a thought that tries to make you believe it's a fact ! It really means a lot to me that you responded to my post it truly does . I have had this with an ex and like I stated happened same time of year same exact symptoms yet I wasn't as strong to really get control of myself and lost a lot of myself with him but now I'm in such a healthy and loving relationship I know I can work through it and it'll make us that much stronger . Was yours seasonal or ever happen with other relationships ? With my ex mine seemed to go away when spring hit and it did come back once in awhile but I could push it away easily .

Hahahaha well lucky you at least you're at home with family and not on the road with crazy drivers for the holidays haha

Beevee profile image
Beevee

May have felt anxious on my wedding day but didn't think too much about it and provabl nothing out of the ordinary. It is a big commitment and something I take very seriously. If anything, anxiety has taught me more about relationships than anything else and realise my expectations about being in love, being married etc were probably too high. Being in love and being married as portrayed by Hollywood is complete tosh but has the ability to brainwash. I did find another website which specialises in relationship anxiety called conscious transitions (cheryl Paul) which may help but sounds as though you understand what you need to do (nothing!). Being a bloke, her teachings are a little too "touchy feelly" for my liking but the principle is the same. Acceptance. Acceptance is the key to beat anxiety, so long as there is no underlying medical condition that causes it. It will beat all types of anxiety disorder, regardless of how long a person has been suffering and regardless of how deep they feel they are buried beneath the symptoms.

I never had seasonal anxiety. I love all the seasons but noticed that it did peak on Sunday afternoons! I suppose this is normal when you have work the following day but the anxiety just made it feel a whole lot worse than it really was. Acceptance sorted that out. I still feel slightly melancholy at times but nothing compared to how I used to feel! My anxiety also felt worse when waking in the morning but tailed off as the day went on only for it to come back the next day. Felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day (love that film too).

There was a programme on tv the other night about a poor girl who hadn't spoken to her parents because of anxiety. She had been diagnosed with some weird and wonderful medical condition but the root cause is always the the same. Fear or fear of fear. If you learn to face and accept your fears in the right way I.e. Not retreating in fear, recovery is inevitable. This is why I strongly recommend sufferers to buy the books written by Dr Claire Weekes or any other material that is based upon acceptance as the road to recovery.

Going off topic slightly and through curiosity, I contacted a well known company on FB that promotes a quick anxiety cure for a sizeable fee and asked them some questions about their methods which they don't publish. They told me that acceptance was a type of CBT therapy and cured no one. I corrected them on this matter and asked them to tell me how it could be done without using avoidance techniques, which really isn't a cure. They didn't reply and I cannot find a record of the posts which may have been deleted. I am weary of people wanting to make money from other people's suffering, especially when the cure is available for free elsewhere.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

Oh I'm the same way ! I love when people are like oh for a small fee you can figure out all the reasons why you have anxiety and how it can be cured for a mere $300. I always laugh at those the most. really only ? Haha

And you're right we all look at Hollywood as how love should be and me as a perfectionist I always think I should be overly excited craving him all the time when then I have to stop and say this is a real relationship you'll still get that but In different forms now.

I M going to get they book but in a sense I have accepted anxiety but i wanted to fight it saying no you won't come up and I would fear thinkinh of my boyfriend in case it would come up or look at pictures of him I was scared like I was waiting for it to come up . But your explanation makes oerfect sense as to why we don't get over it because we always fear it and are looking for it instead of just letting it be. Was this the first relationship this happened to you ? You Just woke up one day and poof you were worried ? It's really awesome to see how well you are now and I'm definitely going to work on doing that because I overthink wayyyyy too much I am a perfectionist and I get super irritable this time of year too lol

Beevee profile image
Beevee in reply to AlexaLee7811

Yes, the first relationship that I experienced full blown anxiety/ fear. Never bothered me before and sort of came from nowhere. I gave up trying to find the root cause (can't fix the past, so focus on recovering) but suspect I had a a number of stressors that came in under the radar (work, friends passing away at an early age through cancer which made me think about my own mortality being a dad to 4 children) and developed physical symptoms of stress such as lump in throat, chest pains, blurred vision, bowel trouble. Had all sorts of tests which came back negative but managed to convince myself (ably assisted by Google) that I was about to pop my clogs which worried me even more. No matter what the results told me, I still thought I was a goner! I then climbed on to the hamster wheel that is the fear-adrenalin-fear cycle and couldn't get off. Lots of things terrified me and had doubts about anything and everything. I was in such a pickle, a 5 year old could have run rings around me. I didn't know what to believe or what to do. Naturally, I must have had a thought about my wife which came laden with a good dollop of fear and then spent a good deal of time trying to prove to myself that the fearful thought wasn't true. The harder I tried to figure it all out, the more problems it created. I actually became fearful about lots of things relating to relationships such as looking at other pretty girls just in case I fancied them or avoiding reading stuff about divorce, to mention a couple. My anxious mind was telling me that this meant I wasn't happy and should leave my wife. I then spent ages wrestling this thought but to no avail. The worst was when my anxiety reacted to her physical appearance. For me, that was rock bottom but then I read a section in Dr Weekes books as to how anxiety could make something that was mildly unpleasant seem truly shocking and that doubts about relationships was a common symptom. I then read posts from other sufferers on the website I mentioned who told me the thoughts and feelings about my wife were false and just a symptom of anxiety. Even though I started to accept, I still had those same thoughts and feelings hang around for a while but found it easier to let them go and they disappeared without trace. Nowadays, I simply don't have those scary thoughts and if anything, my feelings towards my wife have become stronger. I told her everything that I was thinking and feeling, warts and all. A lesser woman might have left me to it but she has stood by me which says an awful lot about her strength of character. A very strong and resilient lady who loves me more than I ever thought. She can't be after my money because I don't have any 😆

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to Beevee

Exactly I just need to keep working on just getting there. When I don't think of it I'm fine I enjoy every moment with him I miss him I just love him so I'll be able to just let it come and not fear it . I need to look this up and find this book. My biggest thing is I don't want it ruining my relationship I will do anything to make sure it works. It's so much better than my past relationships but even so I don't know why it gears towards relationships rather than oh something else . Ha but I'm gonna try doing that see how I feel and keep working from it. I want to be able to work on this in case hey one time it comes up and I have kids and I have to be strong for them !

michaelagjess profile image
michaelagjess

Hey Alexa, I was in the same situation as you about a year ago. I was seeing my therapist for my crippling anxiety but I never felt like I got anywhere with her, she recommended I see a physiatrist and he prescribed some Zoloft but I ended up not taking it. I was also prescribed Ativan ( same thing as Xanax and it made me worse very fast. If I were you I would stop taking medication because it is not curing your anxiety it's just masking your symptoms. You do not want to deal with the withdrawal symptoms of medication, and Xanax can be very dangerous because it's a benzodiazepine and is very addicting. Only take it if you really feel a panic attack coming but I would just avoid it all together. I'm 20 years old and I thought I was going to die last year from my horrible symptoms, I was in and out of the hospital getting my blood checked but there was nothing wrong. Luckily I've learned how to accept the symptoms I was feeling instead of dwelling on them. You need to ride them out and let them come and pass, I know it's easier said then done but that's ultimately all you can do. God has also saved my life. I started going to healing services and I've gotten prayed over by preists. I go to church every Sunday, and had people praying for me and I got a complete healing of my anxiety. I also prayed to St Jude the patron of hopeless cases because that's how I felt completely hopeless. I prayed everyday to him and a year later my anxiety is still here but I'm able to cope with it now. I don't want to force religion on you if you're not catholic but if you're willing to let God in your life a lot of things can change for you. I'll be praying for you, God Bless.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to michaelagjess

Thank you've so much I really appreciate your response. I do believe in god but I am not catholic

Or Christian but I do pray for him. I need to let it come and pass though and I need to not fear it rather ok it's coming it'll cone and I'll keep going. Rather than fear and fight it just let it come and let it be don't fear it say ok come on. I do pray to god to watch over me and to help me. I don't want to maskit that's my last go to but I'm definitely going to try this . Thankfully I have super super small dosages of it so it isn't a huge effect but a small dosage helps me which shows me I really don't need a lot or any at all. But how did it affect you? Was it relationship?

michaelagjess profile image
michaelagjess in reply to AlexaLee7811

Yes exactly let them come and pass don't fight it, always accept the feelings, and remember no amount of crazy symptoms will harm you. How did the medication affect me? if that's what you mean, when I took the Ativan my doctor never told me how dangerous they can be, until I stopped taking it and had very scary withdrawal symptoms I felt like a drug addict it was terrifying. I was taking the benzodiazepine for about 2 months thinking it was curing my anxiety but it was making my anxiety worse, and my symptoms more extreme. You're only supposed to stay on Ativan or Xanax for about a week or two I didn't know that. It's a miracle I've gotten off it and it's been over a year since I've taken one, and I will never put another pill in my body again. If I were you I wouldn't take it anymore, I don't want to scare you but those drugs can be life threatening if you take them to long. I just want to help so you don't have to deal with what I went through.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to michaelagjess

Oh my goodness I'm so so sorry! I only take Xanax if necessary and I'm just trying the 25mg of Zoloft but I take a lot of vitamins too and got a happy light to help and just also went home toncisit family and I'm feeling more myself again. I'm definitely taking your advice and just letting it come I'm not fearing. It anymore and it's getting easier daily honestly but I know I'll have some rough patches but I felt excitement again and happiness when thinking of my boyfriend and I felt more missing and love for him too so I knew it was my anxiety haha. I am on a super small dosage of Zoloft so it'll be easier to wean off too if I want to I cannot believe that happened to you. I also pray to god too just nightly just for that comfort and knowing someone is watching over me ! I am so so happy for you that you're better in the end it was a challenge god gave you to make you a stronger person

Beevee profile image
Beevee

Medication made me feel worse so not something I can recommend but if it helps then good but if you don't know how to cope with the symptoms the right way, it leaves the person susceptible to further fear and suffering. I'm not terribly religious but if a faith helps a person to accept then I'm fine with that too. My bible was written by Dr Claire Weekes. If anyone deserves to be a saint, it is this lady. She has saved thousands, possibly millions with her teachings.

Recovery is about understanding anxiety (sensitised nerves through constant worry, fear etc) and how it manifests itself - depression/ depletion, irrational thoughts, physical symptoms etc). Once you know what is happening to your mind and body, you can accept it more easily which removes the fear. As I keep saying, fear is the culprit or fear of fear. Overcome your fears and you will recover.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811

That's what I'm trying to do now. I notice I fear thinking of my boyfriend in case the anxiety comes up or I fear thinking of things in case of the anxiety. I now feel myself realizing it more and trying to work on it. It's hard to say the least but I want to fix this so badly. I don't want to end it and I don't want this ruining my life anymore with every relationship I have. I have an incredible man who'd travel worlds for me and then I have me worrying how I feel about him or worrying about the smallest thing that could affect us like oh lord someone broke up does that mean we will? Beyond absurd but it's how I think sadly . I truly miss the old me but the old me also wasn't committed that's what kind of triggered it all was when it all became real which so happened to happen around the time of my parents divorcs and when my seasonal depression came on. I do get depressed I wake up in the morning and miss him but feel kinda helpless and empty ..but as the day goes on i do get better. I just now am working on how to just not fear it. I catch myself fearing it and then I just wait for the anxiety to come and keep thinking what I wanted to think about because i wanted to. I know it'll take time I just need to learn to be patient

michaelagjess profile image
michaelagjess in reply to AlexaLee7811

Your man will love you regardless of your anxiety, he's supposed to be supportive and help you get through it! That's what couples are for, it's someone to have to lean on through the the good and bad times. Always remember that your anxiety doesn't define you, it doesn't make you any less of a person, it doesn't make you not good enough, it's just something that's a part of who you are and that's okay. The thoughts you are having about you breaking up are completely irrational and they are just thoughts! Let those come in your head, process it, don't try to fight the thoughts either. There's s phrase " don't believe everything you think" because thoughts are just thoughts there not always true and most of the time things we make up, its natural but not necessarily true. Never give up do not let anxiety control your life , eventually you will learn to cope with it but you need to understand the symptoms. I recommend looking up the freedom from fear program by a man named David the program is $100, my sister already had it so I didn't need to pay but it could change your life.

michaelagjess profile image
michaelagjess in reply to michaelagjess

I can't share the link because they'll delete it, but go on Google snd type in "freedom from fear by David Johnson" and click on the first one you see. He was a past sufferer snd explains everything to you I highly recommend you get his program if you have the money, he's saved millions of lives and helped me tremendously.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to michaelagjess

Oh thank you! Those words are so encouraging and made me smile and you're so right ! That's how I'm going to look at it. Also I want to thank you for taking your time to even respond to me I'm sure you have much better things to do but it really does help and all the advice I am taking and really just listening and doing trial and error and so far the accepting and not fearing the anxiety is the most effective because then I know how to deal with it on my own . I'll look into that I'm going to read the book first he recommended above and just take it day by day. Thank you so much you are a blessing

michaelagjess profile image
michaelagjess in reply to AlexaLee7811

I'm so happy I could help! 😊 and hopefully this will help others too if they're going through a similar struggle. I'll be praying for you! God Bless.

AlexaLee7811 profile image
AlexaLee7811 in reply to michaelagjess

You are wonderful thank you so much

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No one understands :(

not to go back because i know their tired of seeing me. and my personal doctor doesnt want to give...

I don't understand this

with everyone it isn't just him even my dog but it just worries me with my anxiety that oh no...

My story plz read and understand there’s hope!

crazy story : 3 months ago my anxiety creeped up on me hard it started when I was young with...

When people in your life don’t understand

well and loves me. But when it comes to that, he just doesn’t get it. And even my doctor doesn’t...

Support and understanding

either and feeling like such a bad mum letting anxiety boss me .