Need encouragement desperately.

[Richy626]

Hey guys so it's been a few weeks since I came off medication but sadly I'm still left in the same position psychologically.

Every time I think something no matter what it is and in what form it takes it sets off physical reactions.

Muscle spasms, stinging pains, burning sensations, chemically cold sensation, nasty head pressure/pins and needles sensation, constant varying degrees of tinnitus in ears and sometimes haunting nasty low humming noises.

All the stuff I never had before starting any form of medication.

Seems to be picking on my back in particular at the moment, nasty stinging spasms across the bottom of it.

The community mental health team have been no help and GPs have been no help either.

Though I have a supportive family they have exhausted any advice they can give.

I'm miserable with it at the moment, somehow I've got myself into this mess and I don't know how to get out of it.

I thought coming off medication would help but no the spasms etc were getting better for a moment and have now become alot worse.

It's been about 3 weeks since I came off the medication.

Most people tell me that it's out my system by now so obviously I'm upset that I'm still having all these reactions, they are in fact now worse then on the last medication I took the 20mg prozac.

I know I'm not going mad, and I know I'm not going to die, but I'm sick and tired of feeling like crap every single time I think something, the more I think in my head the more the reactions build up, even when I try to ignore the reactions, it's driving me mad because I know there's nothing wrong with me, though it should be noted this built up from 1 panic attack 2 years ago and for 2 years I had health anxiety.

Had a CT scan done and it came back saying it had no issues at all.

Night time is the worst time of all, as I lay in bed my body goes crazy because there is nothing else to distract my mind from itself.

Last night I tried falling asleep without Zopiclone, and I drifted off for a moment but in the dream the feeling in my head came about and I shouted in the dream I can't take anymore!

Then I started to rise off the ground and did a somersault in the air which represented how my head must have been feeling, as when I woke up my head felt extremely uncomfortable intense feelings.

Weirdly I know somehow I'm the one setting off these feelings, it's become like an awful habit that u just can't stop, I was trying to figure out why I was afraid so that it would stop but made it worse by concentrating on it.

I just feel totally screwed over at the moment and hope is running dry.

I have my birthday coming up in 9 days and to be frankly honest, I'm dreading that 2 feeling like this on my Birthday.

Even an advert in YouTube just set me off crying, a bunch of lads about to watch a football game with some beers and it just made me feel like I can't even enjoy simple things like that anymore.

I feel so lonely right now.

[Agora1]

Richy626, you are not alone. You have this forum to support you. When someone comes off medication whether cold turkey or slowly weaning, they must allow a slow healing time. Afterall, the anxiety symptoms overtook you 2 years ago. You can't expect the meds you were taking to do a turnabout overnight. As the Prozac slowly built up in your body, it will have to slowly taper down as well. It is normal for the symptoms to increase, continue or become different before leaving you altogether. Short of going back on yet another drug, my advice is to see it through one day at a time even when you come close to giving in. DON'T....remember what you are going through and that you don't want to ever go through this again. It took me 2 years just to wean off my med and another 2 years to have my mind and body heal. The rewards are unbelievable. Hang in there. We are here to support you. Use healthy eating, therapy and exercise, it will help you feel better. Good Luck

[Richy626 in reply to Agora1]

Well I stopped the medication cold turkey, as CMHT advised me to.

I am eating healthier and tried getting more exercise by swimming but stopped exercising this week due to the stinging pains thought it might be off putting.

Thank you for saying what u have that all these nasty feelings will stop eventually, it's just that everybody is saying if it was the medication it should have stopped by now.

2 years ago is when it all started June this year I had my second ever panic attack and it all went downhill from there, they kept happening daily after that.

Wierdly it was not long after I realised it was all just anxiety not a physical problem that the panic attacks kept coming.

Medication stopped them but all these physical things have started.

To be honest I have no clue how to relax, or fight it when even positive or normal thoughts I seem to react to.

[Agora1 in reply to Richy626]

Richy626, things may have to get worse before getting better. Believe me many times I thought that maybe I had made a mistake in getting off my meds. Something inside of me told me I had to give it a little more time. I am so glad I did. Block out what others tell you in regards to you should be feeling better by now. We are all different, depending on the med, the dose, the length of time on it and most of all your acceptance that you will be better.

As for relaxing, first thing is not to fight it. You're at the "home stretch" now. Swimming is an excellent release for you. Stinging pains/burning in the muscles can be attributed to lactic acid building up. Hydration helps this as well as deep breathing. Throughout the day give yourself time to listen to YOUTUBE Audio relaxation and deep breathing videos, just 10 min. I use this mid day as well as evening before bed. It will allow you to go into a deep REM sleep which will help restore your body. Our bodies have been on "hi" mode for so long, it needs time to remember how to relax normally. It will happen for you.

[Angela15]

Know exactly how you feel, we do this to ourselves, some say feel the anxiety and work with it, others say fight it. Tried doing both but still anxious. Hope you find an answer.

[Richy626]

Thing is I'm caught in a constant battle, sometimes I'm like bring it on I can live with feeling like this, but then I get upset because know it's me that's causing it so I before to long I get upset.

Also after a while I feel like how am I supposed to live feeling like this every time I think, so my head drops quickly again.

I'm stuck in a paradox, I try to accept the feelings but at the same time I'm like no I shouldn't be physically reacting to just thinking anything.

The other paradox I feel stuck in is if I do it on purpose then it will become even more of a habit to keep feeling like this and I'll keep setting off the physical reactions more often, but on the other hand when the physical reactions happens when I don't them it to, it upsets me also.

So I don't know what to do!

[sunnyg]

It can take many months to have the meds and their effects leave your body. It is a slow process, but it will complete itself on it's own time. It helped me to know it was the side effect of coming off meds that made me feel weird sensations. I knew it was nothing more than my body adjusting. I sometimes need nighttime Tylenol or Benadryl to sleep, but I think that's OK. Have you tried natural melatonin to sleep? It helps me too. I have to stay very busy and active to get rid of my anxiety. Stay strong, active, and get some help with your sleep. Your body is adjusting exactly as it should and that's a good thing. YOU ARE STRONG. Peace to you

[Richy626]

Thank you, I can't say I've been very active whatsoever to be honest, I'm signed off work have been for months and all this stuff puts me off in wanting to do anything unfortunately.

I was on medication for about 3 months, in that time they changed it about many times and when they didn't know what to do with me they put me on a cocktail of meds, including prozac, Buspirone, promethazine and zopiclone!

Once I told people all the stuff the crisis team put me on they were horrified!

Thanks for your encouragement.

I must ask though, with my paradox issue particularly the first one what should I do?