So many years gone

[Shlbell86]

I am 30 years old. i have been living barely surviving for 5 years with what i believe is horrible panic. i went to work one day completely fine. I went outside to smoke a cigarette and i felt like i was looking at myself from outside my body and felt like i was going to faint. This feeling has only gotten worse since then.nothing helps. I have tried meds vitamins herbs tea so many different remedies. Nothing even comes close to helping i feel like i am going to faint constantly. My vision is dark an distorted always. I can no longer leave the house alone shower alone drive a car or work. Anyone else have this?

[sweetiepye]

Hello Shlbell, I have had anxiety and panic attacks and went on anti depressants and through counseling. I did very well and got my life back and then one day out of the blue I experienced what you're describing. It wasn't the same as the anxiety, but was just as scary and I definitely felt like I was in another space watching myself. I was also dizzy and weak. I went to 5 different Doctors before I had a diagnosis. My iron levels were so low they couldn't understand how I was even walking and they suspected I was bleeding internally . I wasn't and iron shots and then taking pill form solved the problem. It took me several years to find that 5th Dr. all the rest believed it was the anxiety. People with anxiety can also get sick. Doctors don't seem to get that. It happened to me again 6 yrs. ago, they said anxiety and it was Atrial Fibrillation. You really have to fight for yourself, insist on more test. Let me know how you get on and I am happy to help with listening or advice. Good luck, Pam

[Icanbeathis2016]

I can relate by saying I've been confined to my house lately. I even stopped working because I felt I could no longer do the duties at work without feeling dizzy or lightheaded or shaky or feeling faint. And now even after being home thinking that if I took time off from work to get better I actually feel like it made me worse. I hate to be home alone. And when I drive sometimes I detached and my vision is off, get dizzy. Sometimes I don't even know how I made it to my destination cuz I be in tunnel vision. But I've become so afraid of having these moments that I don't even like to leave my house and when I do I get symptoms. Can't even grocery shop like I use to without feeling dizzy and lightheaded or weak to a point I think I may pass out. I don't understand how it got to this. I use to be a busy mom. Always either at work or with my daughter engaging in her sports being supportive always, I was in school trying to finish my degree,was exercising 3 days a week. And now I'm afraid to do any of it. Have completely been home bound. Only leave the house to do what I need to do for my kids. I recently quit taking the meds I was prescribed because it wasn't a big help to me. Sorry that we are going through this.

[Shlbell86 in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

Yes i was the same way. Always busy always going. and now i barely take a shower

[Deecey]

Hi Shlbell, this is not going to be easy but if you want a panic free life then you have to be brave and the next time panic feels like its paying a visit, invite it, say to it come do your worse let it be there, it is the scariest thing ever, but if you can see the panic all the way through without trying to control it/send it away, your fear of it will diminish and your symptoms will become more manageable until they leave. Anxiety/Panic stays because we fuel it, because our bodies are filled with adrenaline all the time it takes just a mere second to panic up, but we have the power to stop it, it will be the hardest thing you will have to do but accepting the panic, inviting it to be there, not fearing it, reversing the negative thoughts that fuel it more I assure you will make your life brighter. I am saying this as a 47 year old who has lived with GAD since my childhood with varying health anxieties/ocd but have learnt through the years that knowledge/learning/reading/understanding what is happening in our bodies is gold/key to living/coping/accepting whatever my GAD throws up and any setback/episode is short lived. I have had every symptom under the sun, bizarre, unexplained symptoms and thoughts but these days instead of saying "uh oh whats that, what if" I laugh, I say how amazing my body is, I really tune into the sensation, I've found the body/mind almost goes into a huff at me not obsessing on it. Distorted vision use to be the last symptom to go totally for me but that's because that lovely drug adrenaline would flood my system and I guess the eyes go funny as do the feet so as they are the furthest away from the heart probably then take the longest to go back to normal when the levels fall. You take care of yourself, get out get some fresh air, if you feel wobbly its fine go somewhere where there are people, if you fall(you wont) then someone will catch you, don't stop doing anything because of your panic/anxiety, this is your life. I have done a whole keep fit class thinking im going to faint/go mad, in all these years I haven't. Sorry long post take care DD

[Shlbell86 in reply to Deecey]

That actually makes alot of sense. I may have tried to do this once or twice but i always end up freaking out. Im not entirely sure how to just let it happen and go with it. its like the body fights i without me even realizing it.

[Deecey in reply to Shlbell86]

Its because when you feel a panic/anxiety attack coming on your mind/body/thoughts automatically go "oh no here we go again, make it go away, I'm going mad, I'm going to die, I feel funny, make it stop, you jump up, distract yourself, go into fight/flight mode etc etc which just fuels the tank and adds the fear factor, feeling scared of when another one will come", so you continue to fear it, and when this happens they wont leave and your constantly wondering when it will come again. If as soon as you feel a panic coming on you change them thoughts/reactions (very hard to do) to "come on panic do your worse, I don't fear you, the worse your going to do is make me have very awful sensations for a little while but eventually you will go", I literally many moons ago just sat down or stood still wherever I was and just let it happen, saying just this "bring it on" and the fear does not get a grip and if you can live with the fact "its panic and I don't fear you" every episode will be over before its even taken hold and you will be able to have a happier life knowing that no matter what your not letting panic/anxiety divine you or stop you doing anything. We all have choices in life and every morning I wake I instantly say to myself no matter how I'm feeling "I choose to be happy with my GAD" no matter how bad I'm feeling. Keeping a journal is the best thing I've ever done as I can look back at the very dark times and know I got through, acceptance, patience, family and masses of self determination get me through. Claire Weekes books are brilliant, old school but tell it just as it is, go on ebay buy for a few quid. Take care DD

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Deecey]

I truly appreciate your response and as much as I am trying to do as you have insisted it's hard. But I do believe what you say and it does make sense. Take care.

[Mj2010]

Wow ive just been reading dd's replies an shes amazing she is right in every word my panic attacks are at a high atm to the point it stops me from.driving my only freedom i have but i try every day to push myself a little bit further an slowly day by day am doing it its hard to try an remain in a postive attitude but slowly the panic attacks are fading an i mean really slow.i wasnt abke to take my kids to school i found myself then one day taking them to breakfast club as it wasnt peak time for ppl going to work an slowly i managed to drop them off at normal time an the last week ive been able.to collect them from.school in the play ground as i keep telling myself if i faint someone on the play ground will pixk me up hopefully not judge me an reasure me am fine when i feel my legs go like jelly i let my friends no an sit down for a frw mins an try an gain control of myself its not easy its hard really hard but i want my life back so muxh my independence that i had with me an my 3 kids i have to fight this eith everything i can.am 33 an been thrrw a lot the past 3 yrs an its took at toll on myself i refuse to take any meds as am scared kf aide effects as ive omce been on sertaline an the sode effects where awfuk I had to have my mum stay eith me for a few nights as i was so scared.am always free if u wanna chat or just someone to moan to as were all going threw this an can help each otber muxh love emma xxx

[Deecey in reply to Mj2010]

Hi Emma, glad to hear I am helping in some way, I totally empathise with you on the whole getting on with your day, getting the kids to school etc, very hard to do while all the time symptoms/thoughts/anxiety is lurking making everything much more of a job to achieve. If you can just let it be there though each time it will subside/diminish. Remember as a busy mum you need to have time out, this is such a priority, get reading up about "Self Care" google it, so important. Have a good weekend DD