How I'm feeling right about now now

[Crystal88]

Well I was doing such a great job today and I'm for some reason I feel out of breath like out of air my heart's not going fast but my heart is beating a certain way I can feel it on my neck I get this type of adrenaline and it feels like my heart's going to stop I'm not sure what it could be it scares me time to time especially when I get up I've been on my feet all day cooking and cleaning and I finally took a shower I finally started to relax and this is what happens I thought maybe it's because I drink a little bit of soda I thought maybe because it was my blood pressure going low but no already did the Holter monitor for a month just recently and I'm sure if it was urgent think they would have let me know a long time ago but for some reason I just feel alike I forget to breathe or I'm gasping or hold my breath until long or I don't know just as weird feeling it's not going fast and not slow it's normal what's between 60 to 70 and MP and I don't know sometimes when it happens really bad I feel like I'm going to die which I pray and hope that I don't die but I noticed that when I get up I feel like it like I don't know what it could be still trying to get into the doctor's appointment I'll probably see if I can get it Friday or tomorrow hopefully in the morning hopefully there's an opening for me but I'm still not like feeling like this at all like I probably need to take an iron pill and see if they'll help me since I am on my menstrual cycle and I after I lost my baby I did become anemic but like I said I just been feeling crappy right now I'm not craving alcohol but I feel like maybe I should drink one beer maybe I'll make me feel better but honestly think it's a really stupid excuse to keep drinking just to not feel the way I do but I hope your guyses day is lovely better I mean my day could be worse but actually it's not I got a lot done today in the house and I did cook dinner and the hubby some lunch for work and I'm done with everything now but I just don't like the way I feel and I feel so unsafe for some reason when my husband gets out of work I feel okay I feel like there's nothing to be worried about the one he's not I feel like I need to like I'm okay but I need to get a job so that I can keep my mind occupied I did I want for a seasonal and it did help a lot like it really did so I really need to find another job at least a part-time job and plus I could put that extra money now

[kinikia95]

A clean holter monitor should give you a lot of peace. I envy you - it's a health anxiety sufferer's dream You're likely good there.

That super long stream of consciousness post had "lost my baby" almost imperceptible in the middle. Don't know how long it's been or the circumstance but when I lost a child it was kind of a big deal to me. I have no doubt every woman feels the same. I felt extremely unsafe regardless of my surroundings because I did everything right but everything went wrong. No control. I'm no therapist but I'm just saying how it felt for me.

[Ollie33 in reply to kinikia95]

Very sorry for your loss. I had my second child at 33 weeks and have post traumatic stress disorder for the last 11months. It has taken over my life and Don't know what to do I feel just like you

[Crystal88 in reply to Ollie33]

Yes it sucks! Im sorry for your lost honestly its so horriable for a women to go threw this type of situation it is very hard and u dont know how to react or to say. My mom had 9 kids and she never experience what i had to go threw but she tells me its all in my head no. Its not but all we can do is move on and let go every time i see a.preggy girl i cry its that bad its suck big time. Now my twin brothers wife is pregnant and i feel sad about it becauss we can be pregnant almst the same time but im further along .😕

[kinikia95 in reply to Ollie33]

OMG ollie33, 33 weeks is devastating. 28 is horrible, but 'm 10 years our. you need something. A lot of somethings. No one understands that place that we are in. They seriously don't get it. Please talk to someone. The fact that 33 is in your handle is disturbing. fInd a therapist? i HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Crystal88 in reply to kinikia95]

Im ok just have to deal with health issues . But yes loosing a baby sucks

[Crystal88 in reply to kinikia95]

Okay I understand where you're coming from but then again I have 2 kids my son is 7 and my daughter is 3 going to be 4 I never ever had a problem with my two kids this third baby I did have a lot of problems low blood pressure my anxiety was up I didn't have anxiety Then with my kids it was pretty bad with my third child plus I was going through a lot I was living with my mom I was going through a separation with my husband and he got out of jail you know what happens butt I'm not saying that's what happened you know what happened to my baby butt to my own perspective if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be no my twin is having a baby so it kind of hurts me because my mom mom told me that she's glad that my baby died which my twin brother is having a baby and I'm like so happy for the baby and I'm not praying for the baby everyday but it just sucks for your own mom would tell you stuff like that 411 she's drinking on your days off or whenever she ever gets a chance or she can be sober and tell you the same thing over and over but it's just not right my mom's had nine kids and she does not know how it feels to lose a baby and it kills me inside makes me bad press but then again it's made me a strong woman it's a very hard to make some people out there in this world to understand my sister lost her baby at 8 months pregnant and mine was only two and it makes it even harder for me and it really sucks I really wish or not wish but I really wanted my mom to really understand where we're coming from but it's hard and it happens so part of life but these emotions the symptoms can mess you over in so many ways

[Aimeeb123]

Crystal this is how I feel today I feel like it 70% of the time ! I've had ECG done X-ray done bloods done asthma test done everything was fine apart from the asthma they have gave me a reliver inhaler as my reading was slightly low but still feel the same it's really bothering me it gives me anxiety even more cos you think to yourself there must be something wrong with me to make me feel like I can't breathe! An now it's just a case of living with it an trying to over come it I'm finding it difficult thou!

[Crystal88 in reply to Aimeeb123]

I bet it must be hard for you hopefully everything's fine in the long run for you I'll be praying for you it just sucks when you have to go to the certain thing and you have to deal with it alone and it's very hard and my phone doesn't understand what I have to go through but but I hope all is well