I don't know what to do anymore. If you look at my previous posts my depression+anxiety has been on and off but recently I've been in this condition for a couple months now without signs of improvement. Fortunately, my panic attacks have been stable now but my social anxiety has gotten slightly worse. I always think about getting nauseous when I eat out in public. Never at home though. Sometimes I get really anxious and nauseous when my stomach is full and feeling bloated. I'm still on sertraline 25 mg but may need to raise the dose.
Then next is my depression. I've yet to find a stable full time job after graduating 8 months ago. I switched careers slightly right after graduating, I have a degree in B.A in geography with a 3.615 GPA but with no luck finding a job related to that field I switched my career path to horticulture, which is not all that different from each other. But anyways, so I got a position at a botanical garden as an intern and it was a 5 month program so I worked through all the 5 months. Then they asked me if I can still work there to sell tickets to visitors until the garden closes in November. I make $15/hr here so thats decent but its only temporary. So after November I won't have any job. Well there is one place I can go back to where I used to work but that company only pays minimum wage($8.38/hr). So basically I have no path to go. I've applied to tons of gardening/horticultural jobs but no luck.
I've always loved nature. Which is why I took geography as my major so I could learn more about the environment but its only after college that I realized that my favorite aspect in nature is plants. They are so calming and relaxing and I thought this would be a good way to naturally deal with my anxiety without having to deal with meds all my life. So this is why I am pursuing a career in horticulture now. But my anxiety still seems to be around... I don't know what to do anymore. Seems like theres no way out of this.