The trouble of understanding between us and our family and friends

[Sweetlolly11]

Does anyone else suffer from this horrible illness caused misunderstanding? That is the illness where you suffer from mental disorders and all your friends and family are convinced you are overreacting/being a drama queen(or king)/obsessing/not doing enough for yourself etc.

Why do other people have this strange idea that we are able to just shake the anxiety off and walk away into a normal, everyday life? Why is it so difficult to understand? I am asking because, even before I had these disorders or before I started studying to become a psychologist it had never occurred to me to diminish someone's suffering just because I haven't gone through it.

I have this friend who knows about this situation that I had with my family recently when they did something hurtful to me and didn't even realize it (long story short: I spent a day home alone crying while they were someplace very special to me having fun, even though I was the one who wanted to go there but couldn't because I had terrible anxiety at the time) and do you know what this friend said to me? "When a person is always whining about things in life and always being negative sometimes others need a break from it - maybe your family just wanted to take a little break". Basically she called me a burden and a nuisance that people need a break from. I am not just my anxiety ridden self, I am not just whining and crying - why are my weaknesses being used against me? What did I do to deserve the anxiety and the low self esteem that comes with it? Why am I not allowed to ask for help, for someone to listen to me, to support me? I am a human being and I have feelings.

All my friends ever say to me is the same - go into therapy. And they refuse to listen to my problems any longer, even though in the beginning when they found out about my problems, they were all sooo very supporting, you know, the usual - I'm there for you, call me if you need anything, talk to me whenever you want etc. Excuse me, does my suffering seem to bother your existence? Or does it come with an expiration date: best to ask for advice until December, 2016? Why is it that these people even stay and call themselves our friends if they are not even willing to listen to us talk when we feel down? Get in therapy - that's easy to say, why not be a decent friend instead? I understand that sometimes we do need professional help - but that is NO excuse to be a lousy friend and just use that sentence in order to shut me up.

I am sick and tired of hearing these things over and over again, the road to recovery is not easy AS IS, let alone when someone is making it ten times harder for you. Rant - over!

[Marymel]

I totally understand. Today was one of my low days and everyone including my own family and close friends.. they think I can just shake it off and be done with it. .so frustrating. .forced to go to a gathering. God be with me.. and save me today

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to Marymel]

You're going to survive, if you haven't, read the post I wrote before this one, best of luck, you're going to be okay x

[daisychained]

The invitations also stop- "oh i didnt think you'd be up for it, you cancelled before"

As for therapy, being 100% honest, ive had more support and encouragement here on this online community in nearly 2 months than ive had in over 3 years of therapy sessions.

Understanding or even just the desire to understand a friend is priceless.

Its funny, yesterday i picked up a daddy long legs in front of my friend (who told me panics were not real), and she had a melt down at the daddy long legs little visit. Was my opportunity to tell her in my most condescending tone that her fear was in her head, not real, I'm scared of spiders but even i can pick this up.

Well, if looks could kill, I'd be 6 ft under. I think we came to an understanding though. I hope so anyway.

[Sweetlolly11 in reply to daisychained]

Hahaha, that story was too funny not to laugh! Made my day haha you sure did show her I feel like the most I got from therapy years ago was just a listening ear and a feeling of support and a pat on the back - you know, all the things you SHOULD be getting anyway from the people who love you. Or... "love" you, I guess. I find that so sad. :/

[Cat33 in reply to daisychained]

Oh wow I love the Daddy long legs story Good for you xxxx

[Goldfish_]

Beware of how you react to problems as you can make it so much worse for yourself. Try and let these thoughts wash off you and put them behind you.

I speak from very bitter experience.

[Cat33]

Fairweather friends real friends are there no matter what I'm so sorry they can't support you You know we are all here to listen and you are doing great x

[Missjd]

Ah yeah I know what you mean, seriously. And well to be honest you've got to make a negative into a positive somehow.. All of this makes you stronger x