Please help me find some relief

After watching my little girl go thru what she went thru, watching her on that ventilator (though im so far beyond grateful for it) I can't get the images out of my head. I want to be able to just be happy about the fact that she's doing great and home like it never happened, but when I look at her, I feel so terrible that she went thru that, and I also can't stop the event from replaying in my mind over and over and over again... I feel like my brain is torturing me, forcing me to watch something I don't want to see. Please help me... Please....

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  • I read your other post and I'm so glad your little girl is safe and well now. That IS the most important thing, but the stress you had must have been terrible. How could it not?

    Remember, flashbacks are a normal response to what you experienced.

    When you have these replaying thoughts, distract yourself somehow with meditation, music, walking, talking with others - these events in your mind will abate over time I am certain.

    Take care and stay strong for your own health and your precious daughter.

  • Thank you so much, I didn't know that flashbacks were a normal response, knowing that makes me feel a lot better. Your response makes me feel more at ease, I'm just gonna keep reading it a couple more times 😊 So I can remember what you said when the thoughts come up. And I'm excited for the events to dissipate, it's gonna feel so nice to not have to think about what happened and just seeing how she's perfectly fine now is all that matters. She told me she remembers the first seizure and she remembers getting on the ambulance and she remembers waking up with the tube in her throat but she said she was not scared of any of it, she doesn't remember feeling afraid, and that also helps me so much, she's so unbelievably strong 🙌🏽 Thank you again for your response

  • It must've been terrifying. Im glad all is okay now.

    When you get these images, visualise yourself batting them away with force. Do some messy art play with her or make something yummy to eat. Kids are so resilient and her laughter and care free attitude might help you, and focus on that she is okay right now and needs you in the present with her.

    Or.. when she goes to bed, go for a walk and cry it all out if you need to, maybe thats what your brain is trying to do-react. It is only a reaction and thats okay! Sometimes you do need to acknowledge something, feel it, reason with it then put it away for good.

    Hope youre feeling better soon, too.

  • Thank you Daisychained, I didn't think about battling the images with force. That's an interesting way to defeat it because it feels like they battle ME with force. I am definitely going to try that. And if I feel the need to cry again I will allow myself and stop fighting it because that's just what I have been doing. Thank you guys so so much for your kind words and good advice. I'm going to keep coming on to reread it

  • maybe you would benefit by getting some help for PTSD as any trauma which affects you badly can cause this, hope so anyway this is awful to live with I know x

  • Thank you so much! I didn't think about this. I think I'm gonna look into it

  • I totally understand your feelings. My son was seriously ill at 2 yrs old (now 12!) he had meningitis and septicaemia one Christmas. It took me years to not over compensate with him and to not cry at Christmas while I watched him sleep. I found talking to him, once he was older, about it (as he didn't remember) helped. I know it sounds selfish but he started to ask about it as it caused him some longer term issues. His easy going, accepting attitude helped me stop seeing those terrifying images in my head and start being happy that he was happy and healthy. Being together with your daughter talking it through on her terms and making new memories could help you both xxxx

  • Thank you so much, I'm also happy that your baby boy is happy and healthy here 10 years later 😊. And you're absolutely right, that does help tremendously. Because I've been talking to her about it and she's so happy and healthy as well, she doesn't remember hardly any of it. And what she does remember, she wasn't scared or anything and that makes me feel good. And I know as she gets bigger and bigger and we get further away from the event, it will become much easier to become a distant memory.

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