Please someone, anybody help me.

[Marc0]

I'm lost, both mentally and physically. I can't stand to live like that anymore, social anxiety and the following feeling of tiredness and sadness are seriously destroying me. I can't stand my mother no more, she's doing nothing, she sees me in this condition but she still says that I'm okay, I wonder what would she say if I died. Anyway, I want to move on with my life and start somewhere else again, I'm 18, and I'd like to finish high school which I dropped years ago and maybe take a diploma. Problem is I need money but I live in a sh*tty small village in Poland that has nothing more that a few shops and nothing else. I'd find a job in another city but it is 1 hour of bus away and I can't pay for all those tickets. I'd rent an apartment in a even bigger city but rents aren't cheap, so yeah I'm stuck like an homeless dude. My mother which is the person that bring me in this position is doing nothing to help me. At least finance me a bit so I can go to another country in West Europe and work and move on with my life, but no, she's not. So long story short: I'd like to move on but I lack the finances, I'd work but in this small rural town there's no jobs, only medium class people with cars that can afford to travel, my mother that created this life for me doesn't care about me anymore and doesn't even know that I suffer from social anxiety and probably depression. I dont know what to do, I have no one that can help me since my entire family is either dead or absent from each other. I'm losing my mind, please help me.

[SoniaGorgeous]

Hey dear, You’re not alone in this!

You can talk to me anytime, I’m going through similar situation except from the country and I’m 25.

Your mom loves you but as i figured in my situation they refuse to accept that there is something wrong with you in order not to feel bad or take actions.

You know I’ve been feeling pretty lonely even tho I’m not alone, i want to kill myself too, but I’m willing to give myself a chance not because of my parents or my bf, but because of myself i want to improve my life.

What I’m trying to say is, you’re too young and too precious to die you’re worthy of being whatever you want, even tho I don’t know you but i love you and i do want you to be happy and at peace.

step by step, start slow at first get a job even in a shop, remember nobody started big, what’s important is your willingness to make a change!

Get an education you can do and achieve it! I believe in you!

There is still hope, it will get better just don’t attach your happiness to others, and remember you can text me anytime.

[Marc0 in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

Thanks for replying, honestly I don't know what to do. I really want to move on with my life but social anxiety and lack of liquids are restraining me from doing that. I tought about prostitution, but I'm not that kind of person, and all I want is to get back on track as soon as possible. My dad is dead and my friends, well, they don't exist, I have 0 friends since I moved away, and it's been 4 years. Everyday is a mental pain.

[SoniaGorgeous in reply to Marc0]

I’m sorry for you loss, may your dad Rest In Peace.

You could try to believe in something, for me it’s The Law of Attraction, I’ve practiced it for a year, still do it when not feeling shitty.

You know the knowledge that everything is in your hands is very powerful, like you somewhat feel in control, I really recommend you reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, and Zen and the art of happiness, very powerful books that helped me at some point.

Also i can help you through your hard times! I’ll support you, in every step you take, you’re not alone dear!

When you’re lost it’s easy to feel stuck, not knowing the way out and suicidal, and feeling like everyone is against you or simply doesn’t give a shit, but not everyone is like that.

Prostitution is not an option you’re better than this, I’m sure there is another option, take baby steps, try shops or maybe work in a movie theater.

Where are you from and where do you live now? If you don’t mind me asking. Also do you have any siblings?

[Agora1 in reply to SoniaGorgeous]

Beautifully said Sonia xx

[DottieLucy]

Marc0, I am sorry for your pain and the situation that appears to be unhealthy for you. Have you considered that maybe your Mom is hurting just as much as you are? After all, she lost her life partner; life cannot be too easy for her, either. Sometimes, when we take our eyes off of our own problems, the answers come faster and clearer as to what we should do. You mentioned that only the middle class with cars go into the big city for work, but you also mentioned that you need to go back to finish high school, so can you take one thing at a time? Is there an adult school nearby where you can accomplish your goal? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? He is the One who truly understands us since He is the One who created us. I am praying for you, Marc0