Please help !

[16_scaredlonely]

I'm a 16 year old girl who's been through panic attacks . Recently my grandfather passed away I was very sad and everything but I was going back to my normal routine after two weeks. And then in the month of January my grandmom came to stay over at our place and the night I slept with her, I got a panic attack and tried to calm myself down and the next morning I woke up fine. And bid her goodbye as she was on her way to the airport. Then I went back inside my house and I just started my studies and then suddenly I got another panic attack and after that it just didn't feel fine. I felt lost and horribly scared all the time. I didnt feel hungry either and had trouble sleeping. Whenever i used to lie down, my heartbeat rate would just increas. After two - three days I went to a physician and he just wrote I was in depression and wrote down some anti-anxiety pill . I did take the pills for two days and then stopped because I knew it wasn't good for me and made me feel drowsy all the time. I was a bit fine for like two days without the pills and then I felt more scared again. I have very unusual thoughts now like as if I'll forget how to speak , forget everything I studied or will forget my family members or who I am. And then I keep checking whether I forgot or not. I feel like I'm watching my own self sometimes. I feel like this isn't my body and I think how can humans think and I feel like what are human beings . Sometimes I feel uncomfortable to be in my own body. Sometimes I just feel uncomfortable with my own tongue. Please help me someon . I did see a physiatrist and he did write me down two pills but I don't think it'll help me does anyone ever feel the same way? What am I actually going through? I'm so scared please help!!!!!!!

[boawoman]

Please remember that when you lose someone it is going to affect you. You may think that you are handling things and moving on but deep inside, you are going to grieve. It is very normal to have depression or anxiety. When your grandma came that too caused depression and anxiety....on some level...for you. As time passes you will heal from the trauma, yes - to my way of thinking, it is trauma. Trauma to your physical system and to your mind. IT WILL PASS. Try not to be afraid; doctors always prescribe some kind of drugs. I don't like them either and have always avoided taking them. Sometimes it does help. What often helps even more is talking out your feelings and fears. WHICH you are doing here. I am so proud of you! It is hard to verbalize fears. By posting here and having people out there respond you will get some support ... and that is something you need right now. Your feelings are normal and feeling scared is normal too. Keep posting. Keep reminding yourself that how you are feeling is ok, it is how you are trying to cope with what has happened. My thoughts are with you ... I've been where you are at.

[hamble99b in reply to boawoman]

Hi hun, my condolences on the loss of your Grandfather. I agree with what boawoman has said.

grief can take a while to affect people and takes different forms.

My thoughts are with you too.

keep in touch,

hamble x

[16_scaredlonely in reply to boawoman]

I don't feel alone now. Thank you for the reply. I haven't fully recovered but a bit better than before. I still get scared tho

[16_scaredlonely in reply to boawoman]

But I hardly have any friends that care. I'm so alone. I have my exams coming and I'm not even studying. I have so many expectations on me. I feel scared again and I just miss my grandfather . I don't have anybody to talk to. I feel like maybe I'll go into depression now

[boawoman in reply to 16_scaredlonely]

Hang in there. Yes, there are always expectations on us. You are going to school for YOU and that gives you a very important life goal. I'll bet your grandpa would be proud of you whatever you do...grandpas are like that. Just keep taking a step at a time, a day at a time. You will find friendship I am sure. And a good friend. We may know many people but I have found that very few are truly good friends...that is pretty normal. Sending you prayers....