Week 3 back at work after breakdown, every day a struggle, trying to work on social life, energy limited, thoughts welcome

[MattBuckland]

Hi Guys

As I write this someone is mowing a lawn and has been for ages and I really need some peace. I guess that is half the reason for me posting, have put so much mental energy in that this sort of thing is driving me mad, when a normal reaction would be 'the neighbours grass needs cutting and so they are cutting it, bit noisy, oh well never mind'.

Week three of my return to work after my breakdown, and oh boy am I tired. Starting to be able to do some work but at a reduced rate. Anxiety leaves and bouts of depression kick in. I have done so well in many ways and even managed to get out and join a choir, which as I am writing this I really haven't realised how massive it was.

Today at work a really difficult situation presented itself and it started to set me back, at work I am sounding better and people probably don't know how I'll I am and although I don't want a badge it makes it harder. It is taking me such a lot of energy just to get to work and try to manage my illness after two weeks of not being able to function at all.

Sorry for rambling on, just feeling the pressure rising and don't want to go backwards, worried that I am going to push myself too hard too fast and not realise that I am doing it.

Thanks for your support.

Matt

[MrsCatiaCharran]

Hi Matt, I'm in the same situation! I have been home for 1 week working from home and being at work triggers my anxiety and panic attacks I'm so concerned I may loose my job but I can't help it! I have been to my Doctor and he gave me setraline I'm so scared to start this! I'm thinking of quitting and starting fresh maybe it was work that started all this anxiety off! I'm completely lost laying in bed anxious I'm so exhaust but mu anxiety won't let me sleep! It's torture I wish there was a cure

[MattBuckland in reply to MrsCatiaCharran]

Hi Catia

I am taking sertraline, can have some side effects, especially in the first few weeks but is worth a try. As always with anti depressants, they are not the answer on their own and need to be part of a package including lifestyle changes and maybe some therapy to help this.

As for quitting, don't make any rash decisions whilst you are very ill. Talking to your work and a trip to the GP seem like two positive steps you could take?

You are right it is torture, but I do think it can get better it just takes a lot of effort. Although you need to 'fix' yourself, it is important to get some help to do this.

I hope that things get better for you soon.

Matt

[MattBuckland]

Sounds like a good idea

[Angep Star]

Hi Matt, hope you're feeling a little better today, when your feeling fragile things that wouldn't normally mother you seem really big and annoying don't they! When your st home in that situation have you tried putting some earphones in and listen to some music? Try some relaxation and anxiety hypnotherapy apps too. They are helpful and worth a try. It sounds to me like your doing incredibly well but yes it does take some time and the will to get better which you sound like you have😀

[MattBuckland in reply to Angep]

Hi Angep

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think I will try and look at some relaxation apps as you suggest.

Cheers, Matt

[Stay_strong85]

Hi Matt, I am April. My heart goes out to you truly. I had a severe mental breakdown at work in December, again in May, then in June. I am now mostly housebound. I suffer panic attacks and anxiety and it is ruining my life. The good news is i am practicing self help techniques, prayer, and getting moving seeing as I got stuck in bed for months (not even who I am). My point is you are doing awesome, keep up the great work. I know things will get better for us all. I am sorry to hear what you are facing, but I truly can relate. Be well my friend. Don'tever give up...I know I won't! 😊

[MattBuckland in reply to Stay_strong85]

Hi April

I am so heartened to know that you are fighting on. I really hope that both of our situations improve. Please give an update every now and then as it is important that we can support each other in these difficult times. Looking forward to hearing of the great things I know that you will do.

All the best, Matt