Anxiety

[Cr10]

First of all hello everyone i have always suffered of panic attacks and anxiety. Its just weird that it only comes every 3 or 4 years i suffered of this illness in 2006, 2009, 2012, and now 2016. And i still fell like a first timer ive been feeling horrible since last month it has been like a month in a half that ive been feeling like this in the morning i feel awful i feel like i want to throw up and i feel alot of fear i dont even want to wake up. As the day comtinues and times i feel like im dying and going crazy and at other times i feel better but only for a little while then i go back to feeling hopeless and not knowing who i am i feel lost like im nothing and for some weird reason as night approaches i fell completely healthy and i dont understand that??? But anyways as days pass by im feeling more and more awful i cant eat i cant sleep and i feel lost and i feel like my life is over sometimes i feel like i dont even know myself. And also if theres alot of people around me or i go to the store i feel even worst. Can any of you give me any suggestions on wat i can do? I lost both my jobs and i have 2 cars to pay and as well as take care of my wife which is all i have and sometimes i just feel like she gets tired of me because i cant to anything and shes doing both roles and it hurts me please any advice will help

[Stay_strong85]

Hi, I suffer with panic disorder severely, but only every few years. It goes away fully for years at a time too. This year I am at an all time high of anxiety; started about 3 or 4 months ago. They had been gone for a full 3 years. Ended up in the ER AGAIN last night. About to start a new med...the benzodiazapines are too heavy duty for me. Any encouraging words? I am so sorry my friend, I know you are looking for advice...all i can say is don't give up. You can do it! So can I! We can get through this. It went away before it'll go away again. I also use meditation videos on youtube with headphones as i lay in bed...it works only temporarily, but it works. I also try very hard to keep my faith in, what I call my higher power, God. I am also using self talk because sometimes I am able to stop an attack from going full blown. As a matter of fact I am in the middle of one right now. But talkimg to you and keeping my mind calm it is helping. I feel weird because of the meds they pumped in my IV last night in the ER. Slept great for once in 3 days, but now it feels a little funny. Plus anxiety stops me from eating sometimes too because of the nerves. I lost a very good job due to this disorder and been jobless for 9 months now. Got a new job because I have a car payment and bill, but collapsed on the job from a severe attack. Now I am back to square one. It is very frustrating and debilitating especially since the ONLY support I have is my boyfriend. My family is not very nice to me about it and sometimes even make me feel embarssed and bad having this disorder. They have no clue just how scary and hard it is. Anyway, I pray you find that peace again too...be well and God bless.

[Cr10 in reply to Stay_strong85]

Hello thanks for the advice and i truly understand. It was gone for almost 4 years for me but all of the sudden last month i started felling down then my first panic attack came and since then it has been horrible. I rececntly quit my job i couldnt not even make it to work i would stop the car like in the middle of the street because i felt i was dying. Wen im in my room is where i feel the safest. I cannot go out just knowing im going to the store or somewhere else triggers a panic attack i basically spend all day in bed and its horrible i feel like im in a dream and i cant wake up i feel crazy and lost like if i was born again. But like you said we will get over this!! And theres always God who i never doubt. I will pray for you and i hope that you get well soon and just fight it i know that you are strong. We will soon be back to normal im sure of that. And i totally understand about the family part same here they think that im making it up but they dont even know how horrible the sometimes are. They want to force me to work and are always telling me im fine when they know im not but i know how u feel and u know how i feel so we know that this is a horrible thing. Dont worry we are not alone God is with us every step of the the way by the way this song called "I lift my hands helps me alot hear it wenenver you feel bad i hope it helps you and im carlos by the way. GOD BLESS YOU!

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Cr10]

Thank you for that Carlos. I'm April. I totally hear you...I am stuck in bed most of my days also. I know it makes it worse but I am too scared to leave. I'm working on it though. I've made some progress but It's hard with the lack of family support. And I truly believe God IS in control even though I don't want to face this or go through it because i am terrified most of the time, but I keep going because I know one day it will all be fine and I'll be back to normal. We all will find a way out of this. 🙄

[Calvara]

Do you see a therapist?

[Cr10]

No i havent yet its so hard for me to even get out of bed

[Lynl]

It sounds like,and I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like social anxiety with self esteem issues. You are loved very much I'm sure by your wife and kids unconditionally, you may think she's tired of you but I'll just bet it's only that she isn't sure how to help. My anxieties are health worries in an OCD way with hypochondria. But you have to fight through for your family and yourself. You deserve a happy healthy life and you will find when you go out of your comfort zone to have fun or in a job , people will like you and you will do well. Prayers and GOD Bless ! Lynn

[Cr10 in reply to Lynl]

Hi lynl and thank you so much for your words. I mean i feel awful 1 month everything was so normal and i was so happy with my family. Then all of the sudden this happened and im in a complete nightmare i cant do anything :((. I see my wife doing all the chores and trying to bring my mood up but its not working. Sometimes she looks tired of having to deal with me. I feel like my illness ir hurting other people and i dont want that. My parents are also really worried and i hate seeing them cry and i love my parents so much and i get frustrated that im trying my best to get better but i just cant snap out of it. Its just horrible. Each day is a nightmare but i know that im not alone and God and my family is with me.

[Lynl in reply to Cr10]

I'm glad you mentioned God, sometimes it's hard to mention that if somebody doesn't want to hear that word but God is in control sometimes we don't always believe that when we're going through these anxiety and panic attacks and I've been going through myself this week in a real bad way and trying to force myself to not think about things and obsess over things and just do it .I went to the doctor yesterday and I had him check my head which I have a bump on and it's like an ingrown hair , but I obsess that it's a tumor and he said no. But that is how my thinking is and I had him check my tongue because it seemed like it shakes a little and he said no it doesn't but I was googling ALS and he did a quick check neurologically and said you're fine . So I need to stop googling and get my mind in a way where when you're living you're living your life to the fullest instead of wasting time like we both are and it's not worth doing what we're doing to ourselves so that's where you go ,,to prayer and ask him to guide you through shaking this . Maybe pick something out of your comfort zone and just go do it whether you and your wife go to dinner and a movie or maybe just dinner and watch a movie at home or go have a drink or a walk or something that would be good for the both of you and try just for even an hour or so to not think about anything and take baby steps and tell you could do it for two hours and go out for two hours and then go a little bit farther and try something else maybe a weekend little vacation I know they might sound impossible right now but you can do this because you're a healthy person and you have a family that loves you and you have to just know that . Just take it one step at a time I'd be happy to talk to you anytime as long as you don't mind me rambling on here in there too Lol😊 My place away from anxiety is Niagara Falls and we tried to go there 2 to 3 times a year even if it's just an overnight or sometimes two nights but I sit by the falls and I just watch the water and I am amazed with it and I've been going ever since I was little and now I've taken my kids there and I have one grown child and one 14-year-old so they all enjoyed it there in it's just a peaceful place so sometimes you got to find that Peaceful place and go there as often as you can . talk to you soon