Oak what to do any more

Yesterday I went in to see my psychiatrist. She told me I show no signs of schizophrenia but I still felt like theres something wrong with me. It's a fear of the future, and the thoughts of "what if is this or that" I hate them. I started to feel like a lot of the things I did( like feeding my dog) was all a dream? Today I don't feel that feeling much, today i had a really bad anxiety attack because I thought I was going crazy, I didn't go crazy but it's the feeling that is so disturbing. I feel it through out my body, it comes as in a wave and I panic and realize I'm okay. I'm worried that I could be loosing my mind. Idk what to think any more, in just scared. 😢

[HopingCat]

I feel you pain and this sucks. Did you tell her about the dream feel? What she said about that? Does she know anything about depersonalization/derealization? Because mine doesn't know crap. I know the waves you are talking about. That suck so bad. I'm tired of feeling like this. 4 months and counting. Pure hell

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

She hasn't said anything about that. She said it has to do with anxiety. That I'm delusional to things that aren't really happening to me. She called it a mild delusional disorder. I still have more sessions with her Ima talk to her about everything I feel on my next session. But hopefully get into county mental health before that my next appointment with her.

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

Delusional disorder!!!! What in the word....

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

Yeah I guess the way she explained it was that since I thought and read so much about schizophrenia that I really thought I was devolving that illness even thought I'm really not. But yet this was our first session so I guess we'll see what happens in a few weeks from now. She called it anxiety/ delusional disorder.

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

That's weird because the reason you thought about schizophrenia was because of the dream feel, right? I'm not sure if you told me that. Maybe you need to tell her the rest of your symptoms because I just googled delusional disorder and it doesn't sound like anything we talked about before.

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

The reason why I thought about schizophrenia was because my thoughts were or are to loud to the point where I can almost hear them. I thought maybe I was hearing things. But then at the same time I felt like and or feel at times like everything gets too loud and feel like I'm not there or is everything looks fake and sounds sound fake or weird. When I met with her I didn't tell her that because the fake feeling I've been feeling it for years and I know that everything is fine and I know that I'm not really fake and everything is not fake. I focused more about schizophrenia because that was driving me crazy. I really did think I was developing that illness because I thought about it to much and read about it to much. But you are right, now that I know it's not schizophrenia, I'm going to talk to her about how I was feeling before the thought about schizophrenia.

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

When this hell started for me the thoughts were one big issue. They were also loud and non stop. I wasn't controlling them. Thought were coming on their on 24/7 and my brain wouldn't stop. But I know that's all part of Dp/dr hell. I just want this crap to end

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

But we're you diagnose with dp/dr?

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

When this hell started my psychiatrist said I was having Dp/dr from anxiety/panic attacks. I was fighting some weird attacks when I went into her office. But now I think they were actually depersonalization attacks and not panic attacks. I get the sound thing. Good example is that one day I was somewhere and I heard music and a humming and I started to freak out because I thought I was hearing things. I asked my son if he was hearing the same thing and he said yes and I made him describe me. When you have this hell you are on very high alert.

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

Duuddddeeee! Same here! Like I even question the humming of the birds in the morning, or my horses! In going to have to tell her about this and see what she tells me.

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

It's called being hyper aware of your surroundings. It sucks. I have hyper awareness to surroundings and existence which is pure hell too. It just sucks. If I hear a plane or a car I'm freaked and think it's unfamiliar when I know damn well it is very familiar. It's like the brain shut off reality and can't process anything.

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

I feel you in that! It can be very scary! I also get this symptom where i say something and seconds later after I said what I said I feel like I didn't say it even though I did. Scary tbh because it feels like it didn't happen.

[HopingCat in reply to Hidden]

Omg me too!!! I would say something to my husband and then I ask him " did I say that a minute ago?" And he's like ah yes! And then I feel better because I don't think I'm crazy. Also I forget if we went somewhere. Like today I'm like " did we go somewhere earlier?" And he's like YES!... this hell is so weird! It's like we spend so much time in our heads that we forget reality of some crap

[Hidden in reply to HopingCat]

Yes!!!! Finally someone that understands me!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I read about it delusional disorder too and it doesn't make any sense either. Because for them is some weird type stuff. For me it was the thought that I was developing, even though I don't hear voices or see things for some reason I thought that maybe I would. Sometimes sounds from far away feels like it was my mind even though it really wasn't. Idk I have so many symptoms that I focus more about what's bothering me more.

[hayls_2001]

Hi there, I too get that weird out of body sensation or as if I'm watching myself do certain tasks. Been on citalopram for 4 weeks now and I can say it's ten times better! I finally don't have those feelings anymore. Anxiety is such an awful thing.

[jandlinaz]

Something to consider...My ex wife had what we called"episodes." She would "zone out," talk about things that made no sense, and have just faint recollection of it happening. Lots of doctors, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc. She was finally diagnosed with Absence Seizures.