hi emma (the mad one), not been of for about a year! sorry! having the 5 of us ill, is a strugle, brad 21 with hart, disbracia and suicidL depresion, my lilly 19 belimia and been bulied, my patner, james with hart, blood presser, chelsea12 suicidal depresion, and me, suicidal depresion and other painfull conditions. we all have no support, as normal, just each other, trying to be paitient, with each other, and ignore all our mood swings and rants. i am still very lonley, during the day, my son 21 is deaf and hibinates in his bedroom, its horriable, friends and family to far away, and having no mobilty now and being agrophobic, im stuck in most days, for hours alown. at least, our family, has a great bond, and understanding, of each others conditions. i have also held a secret for 25 years plus, of my brother-in-law and the rape. i hide it, but it keeps biting me to tell, i am engaged 11 till prescent to his youngest brother. but my sister and him, are the apple of my mum and dads eye, if only they new!!!! and if my partner james new! it eats away at me constantley. i am a happy person!!!!! lol!!!! not!!!!!. ny health is at is worse and going to get worse, 35 tablets a day and will be increasing with pain and stress. suicial thoughts by my son, me and 12 year old. we a all worked so hard , and all we have to show is debt (cost of living), we dont smoke, drink, or go out, debts growing (frightning). pay plans for everything. my internet is my contact with the out side world, and free counsling, and when my computor, broke this week, and my dads strok, that was it, my youngest has gone away with nan and grandad, for over 2 weeks to canerey islands, im parinoyd, for her saftey, and will worry constanley, the nighmares are every night now, horrific, ones about me and family. even with my servious memory loss, i still remember the repetative dreams! i have neede to talk to somebody, for so long, reason for this long rant, i needed to do this, so i dont do something stupid! i hope you all understand, why! dont get on here, that much, not dealing with the heat well and the 12 dissy pills aday, dont realy help! god bless you all, cat scratching at door, fo breackfast. x hope, we are all coping today! or trying! god bless, you all, love, the mad one xxxxx
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