depression, hartake and pain!!!!!!!!

hi emma (the mad one), not been of for about a year! sorry! having the 5 of us ill, is a strugle, brad 21 with hart, disbracia and suicidL depresion, my lilly 19 belimia and been bulied, my patner, james with hart, blood presser, chelsea12 suicidal depresion, and me, suicidal depresion and other painfull conditions. we all have no support, as normal, just each other, trying to be paitient, with each other, and ignore all our mood swings and rants. i am still very lonley, during the day, my son 21 is deaf and hibinates in his bedroom, its horriable, friends and family to far away, and having no mobilty now and being agrophobic, im stuck in most days, for hours alown. at least, our family, has a great bond, and understanding, of each others conditions. i have also held a secret for 25 years plus, of my brother-in-law and the rape. i hide it, but it keeps biting me to tell, i am engaged 11 till prescent to his youngest brother. but my sister and him, are the apple of my mum and dads eye, if only they new!!!! and if my partner james new! it eats away at me constantley. i am a happy person!!!!! lol!!!! not!!!!!. ny health is at is worse and going to get worse, 35 tablets a day and will be increasing with pain and stress. suicial thoughts by my son, me and 12 year old. we a all worked so hard , and all we have to show is debt (cost of living), we dont smoke, drink, or go out, debts growing (frightning). pay plans for everything. my internet is my contact with the out side world, and free counsling, and when my computor, broke this week, and my dads strok, that was it, my youngest has gone away with nan and grandad, for over 2 weeks to canerey islands, im parinoyd, for her saftey, and will worry constanley, the nighmares are every night now, horrific, ones about me and family. even with my servious memory loss, i still remember the repetative dreams! i have neede to talk to somebody, for so long, reason for this long rant, i needed to do this, so i dont do something stupid! i hope you all understand, why! dont get on here, that much, not dealing with the heat well and the 12 dissy pills aday, dont realy help! god bless you all, cat scratching at door, fo breackfast. x hope, we are all coping today! or trying! god bless, you all, love, the mad one xxxxx

9 Replies

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  • Hello

    I am so sorry to read what you have to contend with you must be one strong lady to deal with all this

    I really do not understand why you are not getting every support out there for you & your family because you need it and should get it , I would and know you will have already but I would tell my Doctor that I needed more support

    I can understand how what happened in your past is eating away at you

    This is a difficult situation as part of me would want to speak out yet the other part would be so full of fear on what impact it would have on the family yet you are the victim here and again should be getting support so you can try and put this in he past , therapy could be the way to go and again I would ask to speak to someone about therapy so you can learn how to stop the pain this is causing you

    I wish you all the best , under such difficult circumstances you are doing so well :-)

    Take Care x

  • thank you bounce! my doctor is not that good, just did me a letter and im charges anything from 15 to 120 pounds, if he agrees with you, he is supportive, but if he doesnt? hes usless and its frustrating.

  • Sorry to hear that it seems so unfair !

    I hope talking on here even if we don't have the answers but knowing we are listening may help even if in a very small way

    Take real good care of yourself :-) x

  • To start with I think you need to approach your GP who will put you in touch with someone who can help with the abuse issues. Have you contacted the debt help.help line. What support do your children get there is a mental health group called CAMHS which stands for child and adolescent mental health services it goes up to the age on 18.

  • chelsea had cames and yound minds, when she went grammar school, cos she got in canceled her support. bradley wont get any more help, lilly well? mental health, and portchlite, been contatced re chelsea, cos she sad to her teacher, she hats school, and wants to kill herself. but so slow to get going! me i just give up, i had to go dentist today, i am a shivering reck, my agrophobia realy bad, but not got a support worker any more, to take me to my appointments, or help me sort out, paperorks and jobs,

  • You really need to speak to your GP. Have you got a social worker? Often at schools you have pastoral workers who should be able to help. It seems you all need support. Sometimes you can't sort these things on your own. What have been the triggers?

  • yes maisie1, its hard to sort things out!

  • The problem is because you all have issues you have your own problems and are taking everybody else's on board. Please get help for your children. I think if their problems are sorted out your health concerns woukd be improved. Try contacting mind they are very good

  • gp and mental health 2nd referal for chelsea, lilly trying to get a job, and bradley wont take help.

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