Will I ever get better ?

I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. I am a 23 year old female Iv always needed counseling Iv always been a sensitive hypochondriac ... When I was younger I made my parents hide scissors because I was petrified of cutting my ear off... I carry a thermometer with me everywhere I go ... A year ago I read a post about someone getting HIV on Facebook that I went and got tested for it... I went to a new PMD and they told me to start taking lexapro for my anxiety...Four days in to me taking the medicine I had a suicidal thought I freaked out so bad that I took one more pill than just completely stopped taking it. I called the doctor that morning and all she said was go to the hospital .... I started feeling not normal I was crying all the time I was having horrible thoughts so finally I called my old PMD and he felt horrible he told me I should've never been given lexapro because my anxiety wasn't that bad and I wasn't depressed, but unfortunately now I am... Back to the story I than went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me with klonopin, but I am now petrified to take that ... I than started feeling normal again I didn't take the medicine or anything and thought okay well I'm back well a week later I started having very very horrible intrusive thoughts .. I started counseling I got diagnosed with OCD anxiety, Iv been having intrusive thoughts for 2 weeks now .. Every single day ... I don't feel normal I don't want to go out I'm petrified I'm going to jump off a bridge even tho I know I don't want too. I'm scared I'm becoming syzophrenic or having a psychotic episode ... I just want to be my normal happy go lucky self again. These intrusive thoughts are scaring the crap out of me ever since this lexapro incident I haven't been the same ? This is my last hope Iv read everything I can which was prob a horrible idea .... I just need to know if this gets better I am annoyed with the suicide thoughts cause I love my life to much they just won't go away !!!

2 Replies

oldestnewest
  • That girli PROMISE u will be ok and it will get better. It definitely sounds like ocd anxiety (which i was also diagnosed with). I csn tell you from experience the anxiety keeps the intrusive thought alive. The fear keeps tgem alive and is what sends you into a tailspin. Ocd comes in cycles. It is a neurotic disorder not a psychotic one. The fact that the thoughts disturb you is a good thing, it means your mind is rational enough to know the thoughts are not what you really want or would do. They are just thoughts and wont hurt you. Dobt believe them or fight tgem. Let them pass without judging yourself. Know they are just silly thoughts. Everyone (this is scientifically proven btw) has intrusive thoughts. However those predisposed to anxiety are tge ones affected by them. So the key is do not be ashamed, talk about it here or wirh someone you trust, keep a journal, exercise, meditate, pray, find a good psych, get on meds, and start cbt. I promise things will get better. Intrusive thoughts do fade and i got better after a major crisis. If i did so can you. Hugs.

  • I am the same way.after i had my second child about a year ago i had very very bad post partum anxiety and depression.i couldnt leave the house,i sit and googled my symptoms all day long.always felt hopeless and just plum terrible and the anxiety was always there all day long every single day.i went to the er like every day.one would tell me i was okay so i went to the next county over and went to that hospital.they told me i was fine so i went to another hospital.done all kinds of tests cat scans,everything and they kept saying everything was normal.but i just wouldnt let myself believe that.this went on for a couple months.finally my doctor gave me celexa and klonopin and that was a life saver! I felt soo much better.it finally went away but now it seems to be creeping back up again.which i had to come off of my celexa bc im pregnant again,but still cant take myself off the klonopin.it helps me so much when im feeling anxious or if i have a full blown panic attack.which i only take a piece whenever i need it.but anyways im sorry for dragging this story on and on.i just wanted to let u know your not alone.also ive suffered with anxiety my whole life.and its most usually about my health 90% of the time.i would suggest giving the klonoplin a try.just break it up in little pieces and try it.it helps me so much and i only take a quarter of a piece.

You may also like...