Anxiety is ruling everything. But i know I will get better.

[gettingbetter09]

Hey everyone im new.

Well three months ago I had a major axiety attack whilst I was at an opera house. I just felt like I couldnt get out but life seemed to be going ok and I could manage and would get the odd attack.

I went away on holiday for a few days and thats when it got me, I was sitting in a resturant and I could feel the sweaty panick taking hold. I have been this way ever since. This last two weeks have been total hell. I was supposed to go away with family at the weekend and the night before i was to go away I ended up in total hysterics, i rang my mum the next day and said there was on way i could go. Its at the point now I wake in the morning and start to panick, I cant even get my son to school which i have to go by taxi. I havent eatin in a week, i keep being sick and i have diarrhea (sorry tmi). Im on propanlol and diazepam. Diazepam is the only thing right now calming me.

I want this to go away, and the thought of being so afraid is scary. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

[Anxiouspony12]

I could be wrong but do you suffer social anxiety? Cos you said the times you panic is when you are in public places. Then you are scared to go out again? I have suffered from this & still do sometimes. Maybe your scared to go out incase you have a panic attack? Maybe you worry people will look at you & think where going on? I get that myseif sometimes.

[gettingbetter09]

Hi, yes i have always had social anxiety but ive always been able to manage it and just get on with life and still be able to have fun. I do sometimes think what if i pass out or throw up because of the panick when out. Sometimes i feel a need to get away from the house as the house can sometimes be a reminder of how bad things are. At the minute i cant even get into a taxi to take my son the school which is horrible, ive been doing that almost everyday for the last three years and now all of a sudden i cant. I am however going to push myself to leave the house today no matter how i feel. I go one minute telling myself not to let this beat me to i cant do this. Its horrible.

The doctor has put me down for CBT and I really hope it helps. I really hope I can get over this, my mum also suffers on and off with social anxiety and promises me it will get better and i will be able to function again. Ive had a pretty bad childhood not due to anyones fault but lots of deaths in the family and i was badly bullied at school which i know has a huge part to play.

Thank you for replying, its nice to know im not alone.

[levymaria]

Hi gettingbetter09,

I can totally relate, I know how hard it can get with anxiety sometimes it completely disables you! Are you seeing a therapist?

[gettingbetter09]

Hi levymaria

Im not seeing anyone yet but my GP has put me down for CBT but i think theres a 10 week waiting list. I really hope it helps. Im currently on propropolol and im having a diazepam only if i feel i need it.

I actually had a better day yesterday and spend most of the day out which was manageable. X

[dave1960moreton]

That sounds really difficult for you I have had anxiety and the GP won't prescribe diazepam as he says it is to addictive but it really helps. How are you doing now?

[gettingbetter09]

Hi dave

I only take diazepam if i am worked up to the point i cant function. This week ive had 4 but thats because i had been so bad. They are usually once in a blue moon tablet but yeh they are highly addictive. I only get 8 tablets at a time very low dose and they are to last months.

Im actually feeling so so today, i got in a taxi for first time in a week and was able to go for a coffee, bit panicky but i did it