Anxitey and me

[Embarrassing]

Help i have no self estem no confidence quite guy im deep thinker about bullshiy nothing bad in my life has happened to me that made me like i am i have jad werid funy un happy thoughts from yong im not intelligent i have a good heart i care alot about things im not a fighter just a lover people walk over and talk over me i can get bullyied buy a young kid i listen to people to much i can hear a pin drop worlds to loud for me im like a elephant i member everything convos and silly lil things im like a puppet people pull my strings control my emotionss people pick up on things about me i dont love myself i put myself down in my head im a introvert i smile and just say yes all time im lonley and love it i dont have a job and like my company my anxitey has hit the roof i no im doing it and making my self up set and like alien i have lots of mates but i made my self who i am cos my dumb thoughts i wear heart on sleeve everyone thinks im a nice guy i used be funtimefranky always smiling no care in world just thoughts dat didn't bother me nw they have im a coke ed wich i no it part problems cum down etc. I dnt stand up for myself i just take it in im 36 and feel young stil there more to me then torture i like nature adventures i can and love doing my own thing but my thoughts are klling me softly  my foughts are making  me weak stuff like pedophile gay my movements make self concusious i hate gays pedos but im hurting my self stuff like everyday things making me worse how do i stop this tourter when will it stop i cant do taliking people its a struggle everyday even i stay way frm famkly i push people away alot but im loving im on meds but meds dont help its me my thoughts that cors this fake beliefs anxiety i need help only person can help is me  my mind wonders and hears everything my leg always shaking too its eating me up my body is shuting down i cant control it people read my faults watchng tv with people is struggle even on my own i think and no people talk bout me cause i show my problems wit them they c tension body language to i have no control i hate bullys and biggest bully is myself i want kill myself i make myself ill but im nice guy google verything just want help do u relate to this if

[Alan_98]

Hi ! I'm sorry to hear everything that you're going through but you're not alone and you have to know that there is people here who can help and will encourage you, don't give up on life as hard as it can be trust me I know it's hard but keep having hope ! 

[deejames]

I'm having a bit of difficulty untangling your post. Am I right in thinking that you are anxious and depressed and you also have a coke habit ? 

Coke can give you the anxieties bigtime as you  know. Your first step is say was to go to your GP and be honest. They will not judge you but hopefully put you in touch with some councilling or support service to help you through giving up. Because giving up is what you need to do even if it makes you feel great at the time. You know the come down is bad and it will get worse each time.

Please go and get professional help with this and the other parts of your life might just start to fall into place.

Its false courage and confidence coke gives you and the higher you go the further you fall.

Best of luck

Dee