What's wrong with me?

[Forbidden_Habits]

Hi guys,

I have no idea what's been happening to me lately; but I feel detached from the world. It doesn't feel like I'm in my own body. It's as if I'm watching my life from outside. I feel like I'm on autopilot and I'm watching my life like it's a sad movie. I can't find happiness in things that used to make me happy before. I'm constantly questioning basic thoughts like "Am I real? What is time?" etc. It's like I'm seeing everything for the first time; I sleep a lot; I am always tired and when I'm awake, I have noticed that my physical movements have gone slower. I'm starting to stutter and I feel like my brain is thinking so many thoughts at the same time. I would begin a sentence properly and before finishing my sentence, I already say the beginning of my next sentence, so my first sentence would make no sense at all. I zone out frequently and sometimes I just wish I was another person for a day. I hate myself and at times I've contemplated leaving this world; because it feels like it would be a better place without me and I know I sound selfish and narrow minded, but this is honestly how I feel. When I say I hate myself or call myself ugly, people think I'm fishing for compliments, but few understand that this is how I truly feel about myself. I hate that I'm always a disappointment and there's so much more I want to say but I'll leave it at this.

Someone tell me what's going on?

Thanks,

-N

[Zobro]

Exactly rhe same as me. Look at all my posts.

[Alan_98]

I don't know you and I can't understand what you're going through, but you are a wonderful person, I see it as I read your post, maybe you don't see the good but trust me we all have potential to be great and even more, don't give up on life and stay strong and don't put yourself down either because hey I believe you can do great things and this world needs someone who can do great things (:

[Forbidden_Habits in reply to Alan_98]

Thank you.

[Deb1658]

Hi, I'm sorry you're going through this. But know that you are not alone and many people are going through this.

My ex fiancé suffers from borderline personality disorder. You're symptoms seem similar to his. Read up on this disorder. There is great medication and therapy to help you.

Most importantly, learning meditation has helped my ex fiance reconnect with himself. You learn to connect your body, brain and spirit. This is important for balance in our lives.

I hope this helps you. Don't dispair, there is plenty of help and good times ahead!

All the best D

[Forbidden_Habits in reply to Deb1658]

Thank you, will do.

[Slammysammy]

I know exactly how you feel. I go through all that all day everyday. And there are times when i wish I didnt wake up the next morning because I feel that would be better then waking up and having to go through this cycle everyday but i cant and you cant either. Its a struggle and it sucks. You cant let it define you as a person. You have to get up and think I can do this anxietyis not going to take control of me today.and i know its hard but take it one day at a time..try some breathing exercises. My therapist taught me the 4 by 4 by 4 which is take a deep breath in while counting to 4..hold it for 4 seconds then breathe out while counting to 4 in your head..do that 3 or 4 times and it really works

[Forbidden_Habits in reply to Slammysammy]

Thanks, its nice to know that there are other people out there who have experienced this.

[Agora1]

"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance."

[Kainan]

Hi. The descriptions you provide does sound a lot like core symptoms of depression and anxiety. They often go hand in hand and one can trigger and reinforce symptoms of the other. If you can, pay a visit to a doctor. That way you'll feel more at ease as you and your doctor get to the bottom of this. Hang in there. You don't have to go at it alone. I wish you the best

[Forbidden_Habits in reply to Kainan]

Thanks, I booked an appointment with my GP for next Wednesday to find out what's been happening. I don't want to get put on anti-depressants though

[Kainan in reply to Forbidden_Habits]

Good. Yeah I'm not a big fan of medication either, but they do help and millions of people use them. Think of it this way: if you had a headache or a fever, would you not take an aspirin? It wouldn't be a permanent thing either. But of course you and your doctor must both agree on whether taking anti-depressants is the best course of treatment for you.

[lyn21]

I didn't want to be put on anti-depressants either. medication was the last thing that I wanted to do but my anxiety and depression got so bad that I had no other choice. but to be honest the medication has worked wonders and it's the best thing that I could have done. I used to feel exactly as you described you were feeling but thanks to the medication I no longer feel this way and I can enjoy life again. I would definitely say give it a try if your doctor recommends i.t hope you feel better soon.

[Forbidden_Habits in reply to lyn21]

Thanks for the advice, much needed. I guess I will just have to take medication if need be. I'll try to be optimistic about it ._.