I have no idea what's been happening to me lately; but I feel detached from the world. It doesn't feel like I'm in my own body. It's as if I'm watching my life from outside. I feel like I'm on autopilot and I'm watching my life like it's a sad movie. I can't find happiness in things that used to make me happy before. I'm constantly questioning basic thoughts like "Am I real? What is time?" etc. It's like I'm seeing everything for the first time; I sleep a lot; I am always tired and when I'm awake, I have noticed that my physical movements have gone slower. I'm starting to stutter and I feel like my brain is thinking so many thoughts at the same time. I would begin a sentence properly and before finishing my sentence, I already say the beginning of my next sentence, so my first sentence would make no sense at all. I zone out frequently and sometimes I just wish I was another person for a day. I hate myself and at times I've contemplated leaving this world; because it feels like it would be a better place without me and I know I sound selfish and narrow minded, but this is honestly how I feel. When I say I hate myself or call myself ugly, people think I'm fishing for compliments, but few understand that this is how I truly feel about myself. I hate that I'm always a disappointment and there's so much more I want to say but I'll leave it at this.
Someone tell me what's going on?