Worse case scenario

Soo......I am freaking out! Every little thing, I'm straight to the doctors, I'm willing myself to stay fit and healthy, both physically and mentally, but I'm losing my grip on things a little bit.....my GP must thing I'm nuts, I diagnose myself before he even speaks, I always look on the worse case scenario,, its never a simple cold or earache,, or common things.....but NO my brain ticks backwards, I think I'm dying all the time, I recently noticed one of my tonsils is ever so slightly bigger than the other, well go on Dr Google it tells you some scary stuff, I don't want to go over it again, soon like a freak I go the doctors twice in two weeks, seen two different doctors, 1st doctor, not concerned one bit, viral , bacterial, you know what they say, I needed another optinion, so a week later went to see my favorite doctor, he looked in my mouth, and yes he did agree that my right tonsil was slightly bigger than the left, he checked my neck glands and found two small ones, one on left one on my right, but again no real concern, he said your tonsil could have been like that all my life, or last two years or so, I'm going back in two weeks see him again at his request, just to hit base, and have another look, I might request a referral, for ENT, put my mind at ease, please if anyone replies no horror stories, my nerves are already shocking , oh also had bloods done recently, all normal ranges. !!

13 Replies

  • Tonsils come in all sizes, please try to stop worrying about them

  • I know, its good to get reassurance, thank you

  • Hello

    Sounds like you have a good Doctor there same as I have there are some out there :-)

    You also sound a lot like me and I would be at the Doctor's every day with a new symptom always life threatening of course and yes like you I would tell her what was wrong with me to the stage where she asked if I would like her to be my Doctor or would I rather go to Dr Google ...I took her point and chose her as she had never let me down and as this is your favorite Doctor I bet he has never let you down and can you see any reason why he should start doing that now ?

    I also remember as you are speaking about the throat and neck area finding a little lump on the side of my neck 

    O straight away you can imagine what I thought it was , of I went to the Doctors who told me it was a little gland nothing to worry about but was I going to listen of course not !

    So I think to make her life quiet more than anything she referred me 

    Anyway I had prepared myself for the worse as you do went to the referral , nice Doctor again but when he was feeling for this lump he was struggling to find where it was , you see when we have Health anxiety we noticed the teeniest thing that is slightly different where a professional is looking for something significant something they can actually diagnose 

    Anyway eventually he found the massive lump as I saw it the minutest one he had ever come across and he said I really think this is nothing 

    By this stage I had nearly thrown myself on the floor ( dramatic I know ) but thought he really does not know what he is talking about !

    He could see how worried I was so sent me for a scan 

    Well they nearly had to take me round there in a wheel chair as my legs were like jelly as in full blown anxiety mode I was just waiting to be told the worst 

    So I was scanned and there and then to my relief was told it was nothing , went back to the specialist who simply explained that sometimes for no reason what so ever , things can slightly swell , and like yours we could have had it all our life's and just noticed it 

    Well I walked out there feeling a lot better but slightly stupid for all the anxiety I had put myself through when the Doctor I have always trusted told me it was nothing but I insisted I be referred

    You have to do what is right for you , if been referred will stop you worrying then ask to go but then will there be something else after this , because you might be best been referred for some Counselling for your anxiety even if you have had some before it still may help as we have to change our pattern of thinking and we need help to do that :-)

    Sorry long reply just was hoping I could give an example that you are not on your own and hopefully you will not feel so worried 

    Take Care x  


  • Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot that some people are just as stressed as me, my mum passed away a few years ago from the dreaded C word, and its been a rollercoaster ride since then, before she died , my heath wasn't even an issue, I lived life to the full, but then my world crashed, and I broke!!

  • Hello :-)

    Well I have moved on a lot from what I spoke about I should have put it in more of a past tense but because I have been there I no what you are talking about and I am so very very sorry about your loss again I can relate as I lost my Mum and recently my Dad so my heart goes out to you 

    I have suffered with Health Anxiety as far back as I can remember but with help I have got better as time has gone on yet when I lost my Mum it triggered it back of and again when I lost my Dad so what is happening to you even though you have never felt this way before seems to be on pattern with how Health Anxiety can get us 

    I wonder if you are like me and how can I explain till loosing your Mum life was great , you did not feel in danger and then loosing a loved one to such a dreadful illness shatters that bubble and then you are on alert looking for what else may come along as that safety net seems to have been pulled straight from under you 

    You may no doubt still be grieving for your Mum , it does take time and if I am honest you never really get over it and forget but you do learn to live with it and get on with your life as your Mum would have wanted you to do as well as remembering that because this happened to your Mum you are a totally different person and not your Mum so there is no reason to think or believe the C word or anything else is waiting round the corner for you 

    I would get some help , maybe grieving Counselling as well as therapy and you can start moving forward , I bet if your Mum was here she would be saying get some help :-)

    So that is what I would be asking to be referred for and I think would be the best choice you could make :-)

    Here if you need a chat :-) x


  • Thankyou, !!

  • Oh sorry to hear about losing both your parents, life is just not fair, all the good ones are taken before their time, one positive thing,I still have my dad, he means soon much to me☺

  • Hi 

    Yes I agree life can seem very unfair and even though I have a family of my own your Mum is always your Mum and same with your Dad and I am pleased you are close to him and he is around , can you talk with him how this has affected you or would that upset him ?

    I do sometimes think it helps more when we can talk with someone that is not emotionally involved as we can open up more x

  • Yes I can talk to him, he seems to be holding it together better than me, in the most kindest of ways he tells me to stop being silly, and live my life again to the fullest with my gorgeous family.... He keeps telling me your a young healthy woman, you don't drink, don't smoke, your not overweight, why oh why do you think you are going to get I'll, with that being said I do take some reassurance from it x

  • Hi Vgrady,  no horror stories to tell, my nerves are already in overdrive.  I am a

    diagnostician like you.  I use to watch the tv show "House" and try to second

    guess him.  Many times I was right which only shows that we know too much

    medical knowledge for our own good.  I don't google, just know about things

    that I've learned working in hospitals and doctor's offices.  Seeing a loved one

    go through something horrific puts doubts in our anxious minds, if it could

    happen to them, then why not us?   There was a time that I saw my team of

    doctors as often as I needed.  If that's what you need at this time, I don't see

    anything wrong with doing that.  Believe me, it will eventually get better.

    Now that I'm agoraphobic and don't get to see my doctors, I rely on my

    taking care of myself.  Do the things we can prevent to live a long and full

    life.  Don't beat yourself down, for a while there, I lived my life from

    appointment to appointment.  Continue taking care of  yourself, best

    prevention.   x

  • Hi, it`s all too easy to diagnose all sorts of illnesses. You are not alone.

    However, ask yourself,when did you get like this, why, what is  at the root ? Have you always been this way.  It may be some trauma that set it off, or simply  a slow gradual build up. If you can identify what triggers it off and count to 10, take a few deep breathes and learn some relaxation techniques, this will help you be more logical and not so emotional about health issues. .....if you need support, why not consider a qualified hypnotherapist who deals with anxiety issues and they can teach you how to do this. 

    By taking  a calmer outlook in life and stop anxiety in it`s tracks, then you can enjoy life more. 

    Just for  a minute, smile and stand tall shoulder back. Even if you don`t feel like smiling, this still  gives off a message to the brain and releases feel good hormones  So if doing  a simple act like that can make you feel better, then think of what the reverse is doing- being stressed is detrimental to our health. Smile and count your blessings. 


  • Hi.....thanks for the advice, it all triggered off after my mum passed away 7years ago from the C word, before that, life was soo good, and than my world crashed down......that is when I started to question my own health, and its just spiralled out of control since then, the slightest thing can set me off, simple health complaints e.g.......cough,cold, earache...., I always think along the lines.....of worse case scenario.....my imagination starts to run wild!!!!

  • I can relate to all that you are saying, if I feel anything wrong.....it's always the worst case senario that I have.😂

You may also like...