Frightening thoughts

[Marie-Anne999]

Need help. I think I am going a bit mad. From the start of the day to the end I have flashes in my mind of something awful happening to my son or someone in the family. So he leaves for work, I have a flash of him being in an accident then,I say to myself it's ok he will b fine and I try to distract myself. Bit later I see his funeral I calm myself and say it's ok and I distract myself again. So it goes on. It's been worse th last two weeks as I have been home off sick with a chest infection so when family are late home it starts again. Today I broke down cos I want it to stop. I told my husband and he goes just stop worrying you will b fine! Tried to explain but he isn't listening my life feels hopeless and I feel in a hole. Drained and fed up with it. Seeing dr tomorrow but husband says dr can't help,you,by putting a plaster on it! Please can anyone help,me

[Hidden]

Hello

No you are not going mad not at all

I have had these thoughts and used to have them all the time , I then started with ocd doing things thinking if I did this and that it would protect me and my loved one's from anything bad happening , years later I have slowly learnt that is anxiety

I personally think you are doing the right thing going to see the Doctor

If you were offered meds and took them it is like a plaster in a way but why do we put a plaster on when we have a cut ? to protect it while it has time to heal and any meds you decide to take would be doing just the same thing giving you time and space while the mind heals if this makes sense

Also it can be a really good thing looking into some therapy maybe , you could ask the Doctor what he could refer you for ?

It can be so hard for others to understand how anxiety feels and they do say stop worrying and you could actually scream when they do because if it was that easy to stop we would do because it is not a pleasant thing to be worrying all the time but they just don't get it and I suppose if we did not have this experience maybe we would not get it either and would say the same thing but on here everyone will understand how you feel so you have somewhere you can talk and in the meanwhile maybe just say to your Husband that you get he does not understand but it is very real to you and would he just support you the best he can because while you are trying to deal with this you really need his support

Tell the Doctor everything you have said in your post and let us know how you get on

Take Care x

[Marie-Anne999 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much u have helped me. I feel so drained with it I know the time has come to look at getting sorted appreciate your support and help tnx u v. Much x

[allnew2me]

This is my anxiety to a T! Only difference is mine is still at school. He's almost 12. He has recently moved up to secondary school and I am fixated he is going to get bullied. Hometime is the worst. so terrified he'll get beaten up I'm the way home. I know it's all irrational but at the same time can't help it. I have 3 children, he's the oldest. My answer is to just home school him then I can keep him safe but I know this isn't the answerand he will suffer as a result of my anxiety. I been calling it paranoid mum syndrome (to myself) lol. My husband doesn't understand either, juststop worrying...yeh right! X

[Marie-Anne999 in reply to allnew2me]

When my daughter first went to school I was so bad I used to watch she got on bus okay and was awful. She is now 30 and now I am scared if she goes on a car trip with her husband and they have an accident! My son has a motor bike and I am in high anxiety when he comes in late for dinner at night incase something has happened to him! I have read loads about this and tried loads and distraction does ease the mind a little. I am able to recognize that it is a very bad habit but I also know it is because we love our children so much we just want to protect them from any harm and keep them safe. I did find them going to school hard, then college and work but if they are to become independent children who can socialise and grow being unafraid then you have to let them go. I was on the ceiling when my boy told me he was going to have lessons for a bike after my brother has brain damage from a car hitting him 30 years ago but he said mom I have to lead my life so what can I do? He is right and I have to let him but it is not easy. My love goes out to you, take care of yourself you are a good parent and care that's all xx

[allnew2me in reply to Marie-Anne999]

Thank you, same goes to you. I was fine when the oldest two started school and have been (ithink) fine up to now. I have gotten antsy if he was late home but it wasn't a constant omg omg all day long. My youngest started preschool a couple weeks ago just after this all really kicked off so maybe could partly be an empty nest kinda thing. I so don't know, I just wish it would stop or I could rewind a bit of time so I could see the warning signs that I can now see on reflection x

[anxiousamber83]

Hi Marie-Anne, Bounce is right. These are called intrusive thoughts and are common with anxiety and OCD. The cause you to catastrophize and overgeneralize things. Which are both not healthy. I had them after having my daughter and thought I was loosing it. Realize there is no connection between the thoughts and reality. Just because you think something doesn't mean it's going to happen. You aren't losing your mind. When this happens you can minimize the fear of the thoughts with different techniques. One example is tie a percentage to the probability of one of these fears happening. Ex. What are the chances of my son being in a car accident right now. Um, probably less than 1%. Otherwise he'd be in a car wreck almost every time he was in a vehicle and that doesn't make sense. Another thing you could do is tell yourself, "yes I am having this thought, it's OK, my son is OK, and I am going to be OK." Once you realize these fears have no bearing on what you will do or what will happen you can see that they aren't as big of monsters as you thought they were. The mind is very powerful. My psychologist and doctor both told me that people who have very active imaginations and anxiety or OCD can tend to be victims of these intrusive thoughts. And that is all they are, intrusive. So tell them to shut the hell up and move on. Good luck to you, you're going to be fine!

[Marie-Anne999 in reply to anxiousamber83]

Thank you very much I really appreciate you helping me, it's so true my mind is so busy and I have identified that if I am not occupied I am worse. Happiness to you and yours and thank you again, xx