Today i have to face tribunal panel to appeal against the decision that I'm fit for work. After
Esa assessment Dr decided i was fit.
Welfare rights and my support worker from women's aid are coming with me. I know that they will handle it well.
It's my anxieties that's at the root of my problems. Within 30mins o have to leave the house get on a bus into town travelling with my support worker to another town and go into a strange place to prove to them that im not fit to work. This is the first time I've left the house for 10 days simply getting to the bus stop in itself is a nightmare.
I am fortunate that I do remember to use all my coping strategies. I won't let this beat me. But this is exactly one of the reasons I'm not able to work. My social anxieties cause me a lot of distress. I do sometimes push myself to go out. But it's so exhausting. I can feel the panic rising as I'm nearly ready to leave. Not slept either which doesn't help. Had a bit of toast now think I'm going to be sick. Sorry for this note of panic. Rationality tells me it will be ok. I'm terrified of making at fool of myself tho. I avoid everything so that i can avoid embarrassment. The panic makes me stammer and my face goes really red. I sweat like a pig. Then the tears start. Im hoping to just breathe thru it and distract my self . Anyway just needed to vent this panic to somebody so that i can get out the door. Here goes.
Will tell you later how it went. Thanks k.xx