Too anxious too see a doctor?

[Maddie2008]

I'm 16, almost 17, from Essex and i've been struggling with what i believe to be depression and anxiety for around 4 years now. I've been to my school counseller for anxiety last year which didnt help. I've also been to a doctor for depression who sent me straight to counselling but i'm not the sort of person who finds comfort in talking. I dont like social interaction, especially when its revolving around me. I also went to a private therapist for one session because i hated the fact that my parents were paying a ridiculous amount when we're not the wealthiest family.

I have a small group of friends, most of whom know about my mental health issues and who struggle similarly, so i dont have as much fear as i used to about them leaving if i cant see them or anything. I also have a boyfriend and we've been together almost 3 months. He also struggles with depression sometimes, but we are both very different in what we feel and how we cope. I'm worried i'm not going to be able to cope with a relationship because my anxiety gets so bad - i cant eat infront of people, i feel ridiculously nauseous all of the time, especially when i wake up in the morning, and i'm extremely indecisive and antisocial.

So, i'm too anxious to go to the doctor about my problems, and i really do believe it's something that needs to be treated with medication rather than counselling. I have tried Kalms tablets and other herbL drops but to little effect. I can go on my own, but i cannot talk on the phone and i'd have no idea how to find my doctors information to make an appointment online.

And i'm too anxious to tell my parents. They know i suffer badly with anxiety and that i self harmed and was suicidal, but they didnt take it seriously and believed that it has stopped. They had a very bad reaction to finding out those things when i told them and i dont want that happening again.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Mark1256]

Maddie, is that your name? My name is Mark and I am an adult from USA. I just want to tell you that anxiety is a vicious circle that keeps you feeling bad as long as you feed it. That is, worrying about every little thing or paying attention to it. Depression for you could be different than it is for me. I get it only when I struggle with anxieties which is occasionally.

I have had it probably most my life. Never knew it. I went to a therapist and she was able to help me sort things out. I still have these issues but not anywhere near what I did. I probably should go back to see someone again. Anyway, she told me to recognize that you have that problem and let it go. Recognize that its there but move on with your day. Push yourself into doing the things u love to do! It feeds on itself and you need to take command!! Your going to laugh when I say this but believe me, its not easy...Think when you get up about being positive. Start training yourself into thinking about stuff that makes you happy and the possibilities that can make u feel good.

Being positive is so hard to do, and trust me I know! It seems impossible! But, trust me that it takes a very long time to snap out of this stuff. Its like being very sick and trying to get over it! You have to take it one hour at a time and get yourself involved with busy stuff. No time to dwell on the negative and that is what you need to do!

Also, this helps too...write down in a journal or clean notepad about what it is that really bothers you! Be honest! What things on the other side that when you feel well, are positives and what things in life you really would like to do! A bucket list. I did that and it was like 3 pages long! haha!!

Just know that when your sad or whatever, its ok to feel that way, its human and to cry also! Just remember that when it happens, dont dwell on it and move on. It will take many days to snap out of it but you will eventually! Think POSITIVE AND BE POSITIVE and dont give up! You are important and talk with anyone you trust about your thoughts! Well all need a shoulder to lean on as they say! Hope you get better soon!

mark