I'm 16, almost 17, from Essex and i've been struggling with what i believe to be depression and anxiety for around 4 years now. I've been to my school counseller for anxiety last year which didnt help. I've also been to a doctor for depression who sent me straight to counselling but i'm not the sort of person who finds comfort in talking. I dont like social interaction, especially when its revolving around me. I also went to a private therapist for one session because i hated the fact that my parents were paying a ridiculous amount when we're not the wealthiest family.
I have a small group of friends, most of whom know about my mental health issues and who struggle similarly, so i dont have as much fear as i used to about them leaving if i cant see them or anything. I also have a boyfriend and we've been together almost 3 months. He also struggles with depression sometimes, but we are both very different in what we feel and how we cope. I'm worried i'm not going to be able to cope with a relationship because my anxiety gets so bad - i cant eat infront of people, i feel ridiculously nauseous all of the time, especially when i wake up in the morning, and i'm extremely indecisive and antisocial.
So, i'm too anxious to go to the doctor about my problems, and i really do believe it's something that needs to be treated with medication rather than counselling. I have tried Kalms tablets and other herbL drops but to little effect. I can go on my own, but i cannot talk on the phone and i'd have no idea how to find my doctors information to make an appointment online.
And i'm too anxious to tell my parents. They know i suffer badly with anxiety and that i self harmed and was suicidal, but they didnt take it seriously and believed that it has stopped. They had a very bad reaction to finding out those things when i told them and i dont want that happening again.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.