Omg I have a list of jobs to do, strip wash iron and replace bedding. Clean n polish windows and sills, wash dry iron curtains, in living room. Clean fridge out, microwave and cooker top. Hoover stairs, and bedroom. Mop floors, clean bathroom and bleach toilet. Load dishwasher. Thats OCD for you on a daily basis, no wonder im stressed so angry with myself been at it since 9am this morning. I wish I could do it like normal people but I have to repeat and repeat and repeat. I'm exhausted physically and mentally. I'm nearly done but I'm left feeling angry and a failure. I don't want to live like this but I have too, seems to have got my anxiety together but recently OCD. Taken over again. Cant win I'm a strong person I know I am, no one comes to see me so why do I have to be pristine in my cleaning. My sister is completely the opposite her house is a shit tip mind my language, I cannot go there I don't know how she can live like that, but sometimes wonder i wish I could if you get my meaning. Put on a brave face but inside my walls are crumbling. People say I have a lovely house but they don't know the consequences I take. Xxx I can cope with my anxiety and panick attacks OCD I CANT XXX😓 MANDY
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