Want to feel normal

[Claire1981]

Hi I've not had to write a post for a long time. But these past few weeks I can't get the thought of death out of my head. I feel like everyday is my last. I feel like I'm going crazy.

[Alex14]

If everyday is ur last day than live it to the fullest stop being afraid i once read this quote that said " the cave you fear to enter holds all the treasure you seek" so wat if it happens.

Imagine if you will being on your death bed - And standing around your bed – the ghosts of the ideas, the dreams, the abilities, the talents given to you by life.

And that you for whatever reason, you never acted on those ideas, you never pursued that dream, you never used those talents, we never saw your leadership, you never used your voice, you never wrote that book.

And there they are standing around your bed looking at you with large angry eyes saying we came to you, and only you could have given us life! Now we must die with you forever.

[Claire1981 in reply to Alex14]

Thank u so !much I have been telling myself this. I just need to believe in myself x

[Alex14 in reply to Claire1981]

We will one day die but its better to have live to the fullest and died than dying empty

[Claire1981 in reply to Alex14]

I totalt agree with u there

[Alex14 in reply to Claire1981]

Hear motivational speakers do meditation find ways to be better

[mistybrooke84]

Don't worry dear. You're not alone. It's that evil beast named "anxiety". I have been struggling with that too for a few months now. So badly, that I began to question my faith. I have no clue if you have a faith but I will share this just in case you do. Hopefully, it won't offend you. I'm a Christian and I have found that sometimes we can be our own worst enemies with the thoughts we choose. Then we mull over them and they thrive and grow. But if we practice in placing our thoughts on the things of God, His purpose for us, His plans for our life, the fears begin to diminish. I'm going to give you some Bible scriptures that help me when I am thinking this way. Remember, it is just a dark dark mindset that you can pull out of! I know how hard it can be. Just know that IT IS A LIE.

"Casting down IMAGINATIONS, and every high thing that exalts itself AGAINST the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Notice how in that verse, it uses the word "imaginations"...that is what we struggle against...our imagination. Most people who struggle with thoughts like this and with anxiety typically have VERY strong imaginations. We are usually intelligent and very creative people but sometimes our mind can get a little out of control--we forget how to discipline our thought life. Meaning, we just let anything and everything fall into our mind! When I was younger, if I ever had a scary thought, I would easily put my focus elsewhere and get my mind off of it. Because, who wants to focus and mull over scary stuff? But as life progresses and as we age, I think sometimes life experiences can push us into a spiral of bad thinking and associating.

Another few verses that help me: "For God has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of love, power and a sound MIND." 2 Timothy 1:7.

So, that verse clearly states that a fear stronghold does not come from God. So where else would it come from?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6.

One thing us anxiety sufferers lack is TRUST. We don't trust anything anymore. I struggle with hypochondria big time, and I confess that when it is in full force, I could see twenty doctors and not trust a single one of them. They must have missed something because I just KNOW what I feel is a sign that something is wrong. Then I get home and Google and any reassurance I had from the doctor flies completely out the window.

"I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4.

It all has to do with trust and control issues. You fear death because it is something that is beyond your control. I know this because I have struggled with this off and on through the years. In fact, my anxiety first began at age 14 when I first realized that life was not invincible.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139:16

"Since his days are determined, and the number of his months is with You, and You have appointed his limits that he cannot pass." Job 14:5.

So, as you can see, those last two Bible verses, the Lord clearly says that our days were already determined before we were even developed in the womb. So why worry? How does worrying one minute add any time to our life?

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" Matthew 6:27.

That last verse are the literal words of Jesus. I try to remind myself of this. How can we add any time to our life by focusing on the things that scare us? What is fear holding us back from? It is definitely robbing us of our life, that's for sure!

I'm sorry that I went on and on with my faith and how it helps me...I hope that it helps you! And that it truly doesn't offend you. I understand what you're going through. If I didn't, I wouldn't be on this forum either, lol! Focus on things that make your heart sing, dear. Not the things that make your heart STING. (Yeah...that was slightly cheesy, haha). Think positive, be happy.

--Misty

[Claire1981 in reply to mistybrooke84]

Aww thank u so much misty that really helped and didn't offended me at all I'm gonna keep reading over what u wrote. And I'm gonna try think positive cos my kiss need there mum bk. Xx

[mistybrooke84]

Yay!! I was worried, haha! I'm so glad that helped you! You will get through this girl!! Another good idea is to let your kids be your motivation to help pull you through this as well! Write me anytime that you need to talk. xx

[Claire1981 in reply to mistybrooke84]

Thank u misty its my kids that keep me going I've done so well for months and bang its got me again and I can't shake it off. I was going out last week on my own but Friday I had a panic attack and its knocked me bk xxx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Claire1981]

Good!! I SO know what you're talking about. For me, it started me a few months ago when I was alone in my car. The thought came, "What if you were to faint while driving? No one is here to help you." And BOOM, I began to mull over that thought more and soon, I was afraid to drive alone....then I was afraid to be at the house alone, etc. The good news is that you can get back up again. How about this, (I'm going to try this too) instead of trying to 'shake it off', why don't we just try to relearn what's normal, practice on thinking new thoughts that will eventually drown out the anxiety thoughts? Take small steps at first at conquering the anxiety. Like, for me right now, since I let mine take over so much that I couldn't drive alone, I made my first step with driving alone with my husband driving behind me...just down the block and back. Then, I progressed to driving further distances like that. My next step is to drive alone around the block. I have began going into stores by myself while he sits in the car. Things like that--start off small to start conquering. You will get there again!

[Claire1981 in reply to mistybrooke84]

Aww misty u sound so much like me. I have to go out everyday with my little girl to go to school but I don't like to this past week. I know I can do it but its the faint feeling and head ache I can't handle anymore or thinking I'm gonna take my last breath. I'm only 33 and this started last year when I split with my partner but were bk together now. Lookin at getting married next year. He works away Mon/Fri so I have to try be strong but its getting me down so much xx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Claire1981]

Wow, we do sound alot alike. Right now, at this minute, I'm struggling with that same faint feeling (even though I have never fainted), and I'm at the office with my husband trying to act normal, but it feels hard to hold my head up. The breathing part? Oh, I totally understand that too! And the shortness of breath that comes with it? It's really annoying. The good thing about having to take your little girl to school everyday is that although it is very uncomfortable, it is GOOD for you...it is forcing you to keep facing it. I just turned 30 two weeks ago, so we are both young still! It definitely sounds like the stress caught up with you. Mine started back up again last year when I lost my job, half my family decided to disown me for dramatic reasons, I had to move in with my brother...it felt as if my life plan was pulled out from under me. It is just our reaction to stress. You keep staying strong...it may have you down for now but you're a go-getter and will get back up! It has had me down lately too. These symptoms can make you feel absolutely horrible. xx

[Claire1981 in reply to mistybrooke84]

Thank u so much for talking to me its nice to know I'm not alone. And I'm not I'll or going mad. I'm not letting this anxiety get beta off me anymore its Xmas very soon time to be me again. Step by step tho. Xxxx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Claire1981]

You are so welcome! Thank you for talking to me as well! No, you are not ill or going mad--nowhere near it! Christmas is just around the corner...and I'm with you--it is time to be ourselves again. I've feared that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it this year (it's my fave holiday, so I've never NOT enjoyed it) because this anxiety has kind of thrown me into a funk this month, but step by step. My hubby told me the other day, "Fake it until you make it." Lol, I guess sometimes, we should. xx

[mistybrooke84]

hopeforlifeministry.com/str...

I am actually reading this article now and taking notes. It may help you too.

[Claire1981 in reply to mistybrooke84]

I'm gonna read it once my little girl is in bed xx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Claire1981]

Awesome. I've been sitting over here taking notes from it haha.

[Gibbsy]

mistybrooke84, I am similar to Claire84 and like you I am a faithful Christian, I keep trying to remind myself that this is my awful imagination at work but sometimes it is so much easier said than done to keep my mind in the right place, thank you for the extra readings, and for you Claire

Philippians 4

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Gibbsy]

Hi, Gibbsy! It is definitely the imagination at work! And yes! It is SO much easier said than done! I struggle daily with it lately. But, since I have overcome this before, I remember how to get through it again...it takes practice and time...but the place to start is the uncomfortable practice of thinking on other things. Scripture and happy truths are a start! It doesn't mean that the fearful, controlling thoughts disappear right away...they can be present too while you begin to think of anything other than the fears. And eventually, the good things will drown out the obsessive, scary thoughts. I tried yesterday to go FIVE MINUTES without thinking of "Is this throat discomfort cancer? Am I dying?" etc and I couldn't do it. I could go a few seconds and that was about it. But, I began to move around and do things that would promote happier thoughts or any thought that wasn't negative...keep listening to Christian/gospel music...music that lifts and encourages your spirit...music that invites you to worship God...there is an album by Kirk Franklin (It's a gospel album) named, "The Story of Fear". The very first track is him speaking to fear as if he is breaking up with fear and going to faith. Like a relationship breakup. Practice makes perfect and for us that struggle with this, it is just something that we have to plow through, you know?

Thank you so much for adding that verse!! It is another helpful verse!

--Misty

[Claire1981]

Luvtohelp that's one thing I always do give my children kisses and love everyday xx

[mistybrooke84]

Luvtohelp, I don't know what church told you all of that, but that is just horrible. I live in the U.S.A in the South, where we have the nickname of "The Bible Belt"...and you really have to watch out for the churches and "Christians" that misinterpret the Bible--and watch out for cults, which can actually appear in any faith. How sad it is to me that so many people can abuse faith and turn it into something to benefit themselves by controlling others and scaring them! If a child dies, he/she does not go to Hell. Children are innocent. It just really hurts me that many of these false Christians turn people away from a loving God. They spread lies and misinterpretations. And these people never come to know who God truly is.That just really breaks my heart that happened to you!! I don't want to force my opinion on you, just simply replying to your post.

[mistybrooke84]

Oh goodness...I'm not Catholic, so I can't say that I know much about that denomination, but from what I've noticed, that denomination does lean alot on what i believe to be many false doctrines. Looking back into history, there is a reason there was a Protestant Reformation. People fled England to America, hundreds of years ago, to have the freedom to worship God the way the Bible truly says and to have the freedom to read God's word on their own accord instead of having someone to read it to them. To be able to confess to the Lord ourselves and have our own personal relationship with Christ instead of having to go through a priest to do all of that...again, I don't know much about the Catholic faith because I am not Catholic, but I can see how that would turn you away from God. It isn't the true Gospel. That's my opinion though and I really don't want to offend anyone with my opinion.

[Hidden]

I love the Bible because God spoke through man and it is thus the Word. I do not have a religion. I do not like that word. I have a relationship. I can tell Jesus what problems I am having and be totally open with Him. I have really understood now that He died for me and loves me. He would do it, had I been or you been the only person on earth. All He wants is to love on people and for people to then love on each other. That is the perspective I have.