Cannot express how I fee on here

[Tucker71]

Hiya to all, I havnt been on here for over a week now, & considering I onl fought bacterial meningitis last month, I rea kinda needed a place were I could come & talk get advice,help etc.....here's a little run down of my story...as i said I caught meningitis last month,I won't bore u with the terrible time the hospital gave me, or how many illnesses it's left me with,I'm a strong girl, in was dragged up by a mum who was chemically dependent, & alcoholic, who died from liver failure at 35 yrs old or shall I say young?.... I'll fast forward to the present & I'm sittin here at a friends, ( only one iv got) due to my life style I didnt accomilate any decent types....so I'm here with the other affects of this illness & what I cannot handle ( or take on board) is its left me deaf in both ears with extremely loud buzzin in my head ( tinnitus) which is ther all the time....like I sai iv endured a lot of crap this life has giving me , but it was IDE say couple weeks bac I post a simple little post up ( not long like this one) and I put the title with the words Im really "struggling " just how iv wrote it just now...I said this tinnitus was driving me mad on top of this deafness, I'm so struggling......

Now to my suprise I rec a reply from an administrator saying she's had to delete my post take it down as she quite understands I mite be struggling and she's sympaphies but I'm not allowed to put post up here as people are not ecipt to deal with this ?? And if I'm suicidle that she recommendeds I ring sermaritions,"....oh my god I thought at no point did I say I was suicidle and second how the hell can I ring anyone if I'm stone deaf ? Which was stated in the post ( my deafness) my dilimer now is I'm so saddened to think I for the first time in my life reached out for help to have door slammed in my face and been hurt by this badly, ....I'll end it here by saying that iv seen others post thing and they've said a lot deeper things etc.....

Any thoughts on this matter would be gladly appreciate,

Cheers guy/ girls.x

[Hidden]

Hello

I am sorry you feel hurt by the action taken by an Administrator , can I say & I know it is not easy as when we are suffering we are sensitive but try not to take it personally as unfair as you feel it may have been

I cannot make a judgement as I did not see your first post but this post seems perfectly fine to me

Sometimes Admins have to make a judgement in the best interest of the person that has done the post as well as the other members , not always does everyone agree with those judgements but to keep a site running smoothly they need to be made & they are always done at the time with the best intentions , so please let it go & keep coming on & asking for support as plenty of members will listen & will try & reply the best they can

We don't always have all the answers but knowing someone has read your post & has taken the time to say Hi can really help

I understand using the phone would be a problem

Have you been to see your doctor & asked for help , there is so much support out there , please get all the support that you possibly can as you can work through this & things will get better

Keep talking on here to

Take Care x

[Tucker71 in reply to Hidden]

Thanx tiga, much appreciated, I un therve gotta a job to do I was just miffed because after it happened I came across Ali more serious even mentioning the word suici... , & yeh wat tip me to anger was tellin me to ring somone, but it's done with now like u said, I'm tryin to get the confidence to start postin again, .....anyway I rea hope u have a nice day, lots of love Claire.xx

[Hidden in reply to Tucker71]

Hello

I am pleased you are feeling a little better about things , again please don't let it put you of , Admins are only human & they have their opinions which we may not agree with but remember that is all it is an opinion ...I suppose if you look at all the members on here some posts will get missed & that is maybe why you have come across some that are a lot worse , but you can also report them to Admin to if you do , by dropping down the little tick sign after where it says recommend

I can understand the ringing in your ears must be driving you mad ...I do hope there is more the doctors can do to help you , keep pestering them till they do

I wonder if there are any groups that you could join round where you live with people that are suffering with similar problems , this can be somewhere we can get support as well as making new friends

Let go of the experience on here you have had now as only you will suffer if you don't & sounds like you have suffered enough & you must be so strong even if you don't feel like you are to have dealt & be dealing with all that you have had thrown at you , so use that strength & be assured that it is safe to post & I really hope your confidence to do so returns soon

Have a lovely day to x

[Tucker71]

Thanx again hon, ,..I woudnt report posts it's not in my nature,

I probably wouldn't be upset with admin if I d have that buzzzzz noise " stuck in my head all day which is making me down )

But uve just informed me about reporting posts, .....I didn't about u could do that? I'm difintly thinking somone else reported it, as it happened so fast like within the first 5 mins it being put up,.....can u tell me do admin read all your posts ?

Don't worry I'm not mad and I just want to no,.thanks once again sweety

Love Claire

[Hidden in reply to Tucker71]

Hi Claire

I would imagine Admin would not have time to read all the posts as there can be so many , even though they may come on from time to time & have a look to make sure everything is running smoothly

Members can report posts & then it would be at an Admins discretion if they felt they should remove the post or they could even edit certain parts of a members post if they felt that was a better option

But please remember on a site such as this we all may find we get things removed or edited sometimes by Admins & really it is not personal & the best thing is to move on & let it go

It is the members that make a site what it is & I am sure you are a valued member along with many others , talk to members you relate to & get support x

[Mysteryreader]

Hi,

I can't comment on what the admin did s i didn't see the post but as Tigger has said they are only human.,

It must be awful to have ringing in your ears all the time. Is there anything the doctors can do? Hope you feel confidant enough to post on here again.

MR

[Tucker71]

I no u can't comment on stuff u can't seen,mits the past now & yeah I'm sooo over it! ( as the Americans would say ) but regarding the ringing in the ears, u no ther isn't no cure for tinnitus, uve just gotta live with it, it's alot to take on especially when I'm still youngish 43 ( not good for any age to happen to)

But yeah the deafness & tinnitus just feels too much to digest, somtimes I think u no what I'm bloody deaf what am I gonna do for the rest of my life? And my only options are to have massive e

Hearing aids ( got to big really big cause of extensive loss ) and with the aids it's no comparison to the real thing, iv read so much with others experance and they say u get a lot of background noises, plus other stuff, can't talk on the phone, but u no wat my worst thing is I can't watch TV, even the tv listeners don't work, and cause I'm disabled I need my tv, I need to have an escape to get away from thinking about negativity, anyway I've rambled on now moaning , thanx for ur reply, bod bless u......

Ps, can I ask how are things with yourself? I would love to hear from u & how u came across this forum?

Love Claire

[Hidden]

Majority of us who have depression have a bad childhood, mine was very bad in Wales my home country, brought up by elderly grandparents who i took care of from 7 years old, i didn,t have a childhood and all i wanted was to be loved and cared about. I have had tinnitus bad on and off from age 28, i can hear it whilst i,m writing this, it seems the more upset i am the worse it becomes. Sorry to hear about your illness. Love and hugs. x

[Hidden]

People aren,t sympathetic to our illness because they have no idea what it feels like. I am very vulnerable and i am a good person so i demand respect and i do not get it. I get very angry with this world because i am compassionate to animals and people.