Feeling lost, helpless, emotional, no direction..shall i just leave and move?

[Raynbow34]

Hi everyone, i feel lost and emotional. I have had a bad patch and now I feel like I am on lost. On paper, I have a good job, a house, and sometimes I think do i just need to shut up and get on with things? For those who dont know, i was see-ing someone from my work, it ended as i found him cheating. Now i dont want to be here...i was offered a job down south, however the job security is not too good with it. Do i stay where i am, put into place my plan of action and still feel crap, actively look to leave. Or do i just leave now?? This involves leaving my home town, a job where i have been for six years, to a new town and a job where the future is not known...i know it would be better for me to get a job within a council as that secures lenght of service etc...i just want someone to tell me what to do , though i know ultimately its my decision...i dont like why this guy has done to me, though do i think crap happens move on...today i could just cry...i feel like i have ruined my career..or would be ruining it if i left...would i? Everyone says something new, a fresh start helps? And time is a healer...i could just rip my hair out or do sometihng to stop me feeling like this....i have been away for a weekend and it was lovely...came back and i just feel effed up....i feel like i have lived my life...just feel like going......what would people do? Do a list of pro and cons, take the plunge and go...old me would take things in my stride..is 34 too old to be risky?? I just wish i hadnt got involved, though i cant change the past....why am i making drastic life changes when he is the screw up...he goes into work and just gets on with it and i must admit it bugs me, but everyone knows what he did and have to be professional/amicable at work...i just want someone to tell him what they think....its mre annoying as he is seconded to us and can go anytime...i just wish he would go...whoslt my work have been supportive, the underlying issue is at work..I have even looked at less paid jobs and thats a bit silly...i have worked too hard to do that...i feel effed up in the head, life, and whilst i wanna get on with things,..i just cant....help...

[mimii]

Is it possible to speak to a manager about how this is affecting you maybe he could be asked to leave it doesn't seem fair your left suffering while hes happily getting on with his,life , dont think you should have to give up the job you've worked hard for could he be,moved to different office cant be easy having to see him every day x

Mimii xx

[Raynbow34]

Hi, my manager as everyone at work has been brilliant. There is no point in me moving as this guy moves between offices, and she has given em the details for carefirst/occupational health. He has told me himself he will be leaving, but thats just crap...this guy aint going anywhere.

I suppose the sensible thing is to, save up and clear some debts. Then look at me moving....i dont know....i just feel like crying...

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

It sounds like a good job with some nice ppl apart from him , how long since it happened perhaps you just need more time, don't rush into anything x

Mimii xx

[Raynbow34]

We were together mar to aug...kind of...it seemed to just drift on. I seemed to ha had a delayed reaction to it all as at first i was fine and maybe a part of me thought things could work...i just dont see myself getting through it,..everyone tells me they wouldnt be able to do it either..yet i am expected to get on with my work....maybe the carefirst will help as talking to someone external etc...but then i know if i see him...i have already got things into place so i dont see him, thats not healthy...but as you say maybe in time it will get easier??? Maybe i needed this to give me the kick to go??? Honestly, wish i could be somehwere far away.....

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

It's only been a couple of months then I wouldn't make any decisions yet your still hurt and emotional , could you take some time off maybe,go away for a few days might help you to think clearer if you don't have to see him for a while xx

[Raynbow34]

Hi mimii,

I am off for week, except tuesday....so yes i will be looking to see how i feel and i know i am thinkin too far ahead and how i will feel when i go back. Mayb deep down i know i should go...the thought of change now petrifies...my confidence and everything seems to have gone.....maybe i need to make a decision and roll with it....i am due to move into house share and wont be living on my own....and i think that will be good...though the issue...its still at work....i do agree,...see how it goes...i am looking for a quick fix??

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

Have you thought what if you leave your job but still feel the same way even if you can't see him !

Can only speak for myself but one thing I've learned is,you can't run away from your feelings they tend to come with you, that's just my opinion sorry if thats no help xx

[Raynbow34]

I know i would be happy.....as i have got over the heartbreak and when i dont see him, i am buzzing. When he comes in, i isolate myself, walk out of office, am just not happy...and this in turn impacts on my job.....i am def out of sight out of mind....i dunno mimii...i just worry with this time off...what if i dont want to go back...end up goin off sick...all cos of an ex....i had a positive weekend away and had got back and all these anxieties have triggered again. I was all confident over weekend: see it as a challenge, i love a challeneg...but mayb in truth i just do need to be away....???

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

Give it a bit more time then see how you feel if your gut instincts saying you'd be happier elswhere it could be right for you xx

[Raynbow34]

Mmmmmm....thinking...but over thnking and getting stressed

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

Me too xx

[Raynbow34]

Whats up mimii?

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

It's ok just not slept for few nights can't think straight at all xx

[Raynbow34]

Oh no, whats on your mind?

[mimii in reply to Raynbow34]

Long story, been stressful year or so think the anxiety and other stuffs just built up ! I'd better go and start the dinner , hope you can work things,out xx

[Raynbow34]

Ok...take care

[scoobyd in reply to Raynbow34]

Hi I'd just go to work and try and be brave even though it hurts like hell maybe the break did u good now your just anxious about going in work in time you will get over it just hang on and try x dont know if this will help

[Raynbow34]

Ta scoobyd....i will have to do that until i find another job.....also in place: tactical avoidance, ta