A little to comfortable..

[shadow45]

Damn It !!!

Here I was sailing along handling my new found situation Then Bam!! a small blip appeared via an email from my brother....And I`m back in the dumper once again.. not as bad as the last time but enough to tell me I`m not handling my life as well as I thought ..Ok.. OK...Take it easy.. It`s only been a week I`v been spending way to much time by myself. I tend to rush ahead. Its only been seven days since my folks went to stay with my brother... after 6 years with me..

Misery loves company is no joke. Even though I`m less stressed on so many levels now by not having to worry about my folks..I miss the company ..Its only been a week Why do I have to look far into the future and bring that artificial worry into my daily life..(Scared stiff of being alone which is silly really.. Putting people out when I get old is a worry as well... But that's years away)

I slipped back into my old ways of coping and they simply don't work... They are.a thin coat of confidence easily defeated.. Defeated quite readily by a poorly worded Email from my brother..... Counseling on the 8th of January!! Sooo so glad I made that appointment so very glad.. steve..

[Anxietyang]

Hi, I know what ya mean. We think its going well and we've 'beat it' but........

You'll get picked back up again. Try to live in the moment and not over analyse. Take care. X

[Hidden]

Hi Steve, It doesn't take much to knock us back to the old ways of thinking. I don't know the story of your 'folks' so I can't comment, but 6 years living with someone is a long time and although its hard living with someone, but when they have gone you miss them. Try to live in the now, what do they say, the past has gone, the future hasn't happened yet, so be in the present. Easier said than done.

Sorry you feel afraid to be 'alone', I used to feel that way, but I am now 66, and thankfully have adapted, and like my own company, but I do have a good mix of family and friends.

I hope your Counseling goes well.

All the best for the New Year. Eunice xx

[Hidden]

Hi Shadow

After been so used to taking care of your parents even though at times it was pressure there are bound to be moments when you feel a big void in your life & don't know what to do with yourself & it can be quite daunting

Give yourself time to adjust & find where & what you want to do with your life now you are no longer a carer for your parents , I am sure there are going to be lots of opportunities out there for you

Good luck with the counselling

Love

whywhy

xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Cheers whywhy...I`m sure your right. Had an odd thought this morning Its been a while since I have had any physical Illness Cold/ Flue.. that type of thing.. But every now and again I`ll throw up in the morning.. Happened this morning... And well it occurred to me that being physically sick is so much more preferable than feeling menteley (sick)... For some reason I found the throwing up to be almost enjoyable.... I suffer from post nasal dip so my stomach fills with mucus.. (Gross I know) But as I was purging it felt ..dare I say.. it felt ok. It was the solution to the problem no fuss no muss no ongoing symptoms. Just throw it up and move on..Oh how I wish my brain could just throw up and be done with it... Have a great day..all the best ... steve..

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

Hi Shadow

I suffer with that to & I used to get sick in a morning , touch wood as we say round here I have not had it for ages as I used to hate that feeling of knowing I was about to be sick !

I had flu a couple of months ago & it was quite bad & didn't help the anxiety so I hope you manage to stay clear of any illness you doing well so far

xxx

[Hidden]

Good luck with the counselling Steve xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Cheers.. Thank you Angel Ill be letting you know how it all goes...love steve. xo