What else is there left to do?

[Klick1988]

I am 24 and have been dianosed with Social Anxiety about 4 months ago. I didnt have a good previous relationships and luckily I am now with someone who is very good to me and understands my anxiety, but I dont want to put our relationship under pressure because of it. I have been through counseliing from my GP which wasnt helpful, then I found hypnotherapy. I believe it has made me calmer but I am still terrified of being embarrassed in public, I go extremely red through the simplist of tasks. I cannot go shopping...supermarket or clothes shopping. I do everything online. I dont like going out for meals in open planned restaurants. My work has been a problem with attending meetings. I dont like the responsibility of being center of attention....even though I know I could be so good at my job. But that was short lived because they offered me part time work or redundancy, so I am now looking for another job and I have my first interview this week....I am scared that I am going to be asked difficult questions and if I dont know the answer or know that I am struggling I will go red and embarrassed and feel that I wont get the job because the interviewers will think I am not conifdent even though I know I would be good at the new job given the chance.

I am quite new to this sort of thing, so I would appreciate some advice and maybe an idea of what I can do to make my life easier and worry free....if there is such a thing?

Thank you

[milo1]

HI AND WELCOME have you tried any natural things like kalms and camomile tea also bachs rescue remedy for stress they seem to work for a lot of people x

[Klick1988 in reply to milo1]

Hi, thank you. i have tried kalms...can you recommend something?

[milo1]

HAVE YOU TRIED your gp a lot of people on here are taking propanonol it is a beta blocker it can be used for stressful situations like before interview and flying and dentist ask at your surgery for advice x good luck

[Klick1988 in reply to milo1]

I was also on that. hehe. it didnt stop the flushes. thats my biggest fear. oh dear we arent getting far lol. i might try them again. thanks for your help. nice to know someone who understands

[BriarRose]

Hi - you don't say what sort of counselling you had, but I would suggest asking your doctor about exposure therapy - if you haven't had it. It consists of supported, gradual "exposure" to the situations you find threatening. To take a - for you - non-threatening - example, let's say someone had agoraphobia, and they literally couldn't get out their front door. With the help of a therapist, they would be encouraged to just step out into the garden/drive - and, yes, they probably would be anxious. The therapist would probably ask them to rate their anxiety on a scale of 1 - 10 say, but to STAY WITH IT for a little while. Quite often, with support and encouragement, the anxiety dies down after a while, and the person will be encouraged to take the next "step" - say, just step onto the pavement, or take a very short walk/drive - and so on.

There's an article on "do-it-yourself" exposure therapy for Social anxiety here

wikihow.com/Overcome-Debili...

But do ask your doctor about it, a psychotherapist could help make the process less scary.

Best

Rose

[Klick1988 in reply to BriarRose]

Thank you Rose. i will try it.

[Fifi_loves_rosie]

Hi there, do you think you may have low self esteem? I've had the flushing most of my life and it started at infant school for me when I stood up sure of my answer was wrong and everyone laughed. It's amazing how something like this that sounds like nothing can affect a child who doesn't think very highly of themselves to start with. And I didn't realise I'd held onto it all these years. I have found that reading books on self esteem has helped me and I still sometimes flush but it's much less frequent. I also find the more I think about the flushing the more red I get, but because of the self esteem books I'm thinking less that my input is rubbish therefore I think less about the flushing then it's not as bad. Don't worry about not having answers at interview you don't need to have all of the answers but the right attitude to want to learn and progress. I've also had problems with meetings and found it helps me to: be super prepared so if I panic and mind goes blank I have everything in front of me so can carry on, and to remind myself that these people in front of me are just like me, they're only human and my viewpoint counts just as much as theirs. I find I still sometimes flush but it's much much rarer now. I hope this might help in some way. I hope I'm not coming across as disregarding your problem. Fifi x

[Klick1988 in reply to Fifi_loves_rosie]

Hi there, no no not at all. Ypu are absolutely right. I had a very similar experience in school too when i was young and everyone laughed at me. i will try your techniques. i blush because people take the mick if an answer is wrong or it could be something to do with maths because im not very good and im made to feel stupid. but its their problem. thanks for that x

[Fifi_loves_rosie]

No worries, one of the books I read was a book by Lynda field, she has loads on self esteem. Cheap on amazon. I'm not good at maths either, but skilled in other ways which I'm sure you are too also there is no shame in saying to your colleagues/ clients etc 'I will have to get back to you on that' and checking your info after the meeting before sending them the answer, this way you won't feel so on the spot. I understand though that when it's been happening such a long time it's very difficult to turn it around, but it can improve!

[Klick1988 in reply to Fifi_loves_rosie]

I hope so. Im devestated still its happened to me. I havent accepted it. I dont want to. Guess ill have to and try and keep making myself believe im going to beat it and im a good person. i may not be that clever but im a decent person. thats what counts. ill get that book and start reading. thanks for that!