HI. I need to introduce myself..my name's Magda and I'm a newbie here ( I might have written a few posts last year but nobody remembers me). I'm 30 and I've been suffering from deppression/anxiety for about 10 years. I've seen a psychologist a couple of times in my country and I had a short therapy here ( how to deal with stress) but there were about 12 people and we were just listening..Over the last 10 years I was on Citalopram on and off. It helped but when I started a new job last year ( TA in secondary school) I had a hard time. Not as hard as Im having now. . I have no saliva so I cant swallow. I cannot eat anything and I wake up at 2 - 3 in the morning absolutely terrified. I am not able to go out, even accompanied. I'm shivering and Im restless. Dont know what to do. Just given up a university course and people are trying to convince me to be strong and continue but it's PGCE so no way I can cope...they doubled the credits so it's even more demanding. I finished my first degree some years ago and it was part- time so I got overwhelmed by the workload very quickly. It has just started but yestarday I had to leave earllier because I had a panic attack. I could hardly breathe. I told them about how I feel and they gave me 2 days to decide what I want to do. My family says "carry on , be strong" but how ? if I these physical symptoms and Im petrified. I cant think properly, how can I be active, write long essays, plan leeons and teach in secondary ? Someone told me it's my last chance and I shouldnt ruin my life. they say I should wait 3 weeks till my tablets start working. but how can I do it if I'm a wreck ! Now I am on my own and crying and shaking and feling that I let them down and ther is no future and no reason to live because depressions is always behind a corner....I've never felt so bad. what tablets can I take to calm down ? please help
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