suicidal thoughts!

i keep getting bad pains in my side, bladder and lower back. few weeks back i had blood in my wee. had 2 urine tests and found no blood but slight infection but my last urine sample showed all clear yet my pains seem worse. im feeling suicidal. keep searching best ways to kill yourself without pain. scared i have cancer! my boyfriend says if i die or have terminal cancer ge would commit suicide with me. this is the only thing keeping me from going mad knowing he will be with me if i die. i couldnt go through it alone and he said i wouldnt have to. im so down!

12 Replies

  • Oh, Sweetie! Just to let you know I am thinking of you with your distress.

    Sounds like a real live Romeo and Juliette movie, you and your Boyfriend have. He sounds like he really truly lovesorry you and would do anything for you if that means to die with you.

    Please, don't!

    You are both here on Earth for a reason, if it's to show people what love is suppose to be or help someone that is going through the same things as you. Your life does having meaning and a purpose.

    With love and understanding!

  • he is such a wonderful boyfriend. he says he could never live without me and would want to be with me. i feel very selfish but that comforts me very much knowing id have him with me. im not afriad of dying i just do t want to be alone. x

  • Hold on to him. Not very often get someone that truly loves you that innocently.

    I too, have suicidal thoughts but I am too chicken to act them out.

    I make sure I tell my therapist my every thought , problem, flook, etc...

    Today, I did. She is the best therapist in 26 years I ever had.

    If you see someone, which is great, don't let people thing that it's wrong. Please, tell her how you are feeling. You are only helping yourself by talking about it. That in itself is the best therapy. Make sure you have one that


    don't make you feel you shouldn't feel the way you do

    Tells you what to

    They should guide you to do what YOU think you should do

    Don't talk over you

    Make feel less of yourself

    She should be there to help you figure out situations, and psychology your past, now, and future for yourselfriendship

    I hope other people in this forum can explain more than I can or give you more.


  • Hello

    I have had Health Anxiety so anything wrong has to be life threatening which is how the mind works when we suffer with anxiety focusing on our Health and years ago I would have thoughts I did not want to be here but then now I think where was my thinking coming from , I was afraid I was going to die yet sat wondering how I could kill myself which would lead to the thing I was afraid of dying ?

    It can be very common that you can have an infection and that it looks like it has cleared up but then can come back and it certainly does not mean it is life threatening but you need to talk to your Doctor tell them how it feels again how it is affecting you and how you are suffering and the thoughts you are getting so you can get all the support you need and deserve and I really hope you will do this and if the Doctor you see is not very good at listening see another Doctor in the same surgery that might be better and more helpful:-)

    I am not sure if you are in the UK but if you are the Samaritans are just a phone call away 24/7 and it can be good to hear a comforting voice and talk to someone that is there to listen to you so please phone them if you feel so bad that you are getting these thoughts

    If the pain is getting bad or you are feeling unwell tonight and feel you need to be seen either call out the Doctor or go to A&E otherwise do your best to get seen by your Doctor tomorrow because I am sure this can get resolved

    Let us know how you get on :-)

    Take Care x

  • thank you so much for your comforting words, im trying so hard to believe its nothing serious but am certain it is. blood in my urine with stomach pains surely is a bad sign. im so scared to go to the doctors incase he tells me i have cancer or dont have long to live and its spread. dying isnt my fear as such its leaving everyone and going alone . which sounds so selfish but comforts me to think my boyfriend would be there with me and coming with me. i dont want to be sat round a hospital bed with my family waiting for me to die like i had to with my grandad and watching him struggle to take his last breath. thats what terrifies me. i do sound very selfish i k ow but i am truly scared. x

  • Hello

    Think about this and imagine not only the pain this would leave your family in but also your boyfriends family and the pain they would be in , I am sure neither of you would want to leave you loved one's behind knowing this

    I totally understand your fear and especially as you have already lost a loved one and through that experience it has left you feeling as you do but remember you are not your Granddad you are you and so there is nothing and no evidence that you have or will go through what your Granddad went through because you are a totally different person you must remember this

    Please go to the Doctors , think like this if it was the worse scenario then you do not have to have treatment you do not have to tell anyone what you have if you choose not to but then on the other hand imagine them saying O yes you have a simple infection or a simple whatever here a few tablets and you are cured and you will no longer feel in this turmoil with all these thoughts but will feel better and start planning a happy future with your boyfriend which I am sure if you got this sorted that is what you will be looking at a happy future

    The fear is what we fear the most and fear is an emotion that does not harm us but needs to be kept under control , keep yours under control and face your fear and you will see it was nothing but an emotion that has been ruining your life ....please again go to the doctors we will all be here to help you through this and support you :-) x

  • Hey kylie, I'm deeply worried about you at the moment,

    I can go to sleep knowing that your boyfriend is keeping you with us, god bless you two...

    I'm here as a friend,

    so if you need to talk about anything, anything at all, I'll listen and I'll see if i can do anything to help, I seriously don't like people feeling this way...

    So if you need a friend, I'm all ears.


  • thank you so much that is lovely of you. he is keeping me calm at the moment but the second he is away from me i panic. im trying do hard to keep myself from thinking bad thoughts but i cant help it. im so frigtened as i know many other people are on this forum. i appreciate all the kinds words thank you x

  • I had gone through a stage in my life where i really wanted to die to, sometimes i still do, but you have to have something you can look forward to, like a celebration, or party...! I've never had a boyfriend or anyone there for me but i struggled my way through and i'm sure you can to...

    Once again I'm here as your friend!!

    I truly hope you pull through

    cya943 :)

  • Your Sweet!

  • Hello kylie1986, let me first tell you that a urine infection is very common, nothing to worry about and it will get better, let me tell you my story, last year I had a urine infection on and off for months, I was on antibiotics sometimes they worked, and sometimes they didn't, I would get rid of one inflection to get another a week later, it was a nightmare, my Doctor referred me for an ultrasound on my bladder, I was scared to death thinking they would find something horribly wrong with my bladder, got myself all stressed out for nothing, everything was normal, let me give you a few tips, drink water, water and guess what more water, it really does work, lots of it! Next put a hot water bottle on the area of your tummy that hurts the most, it does seem to soothe the bladder, and finally, when peeing lean back on the toilet so your back touches the back of the toilet, this will ensure you empty your bladder properly, any pee that stays in your bladder can cause another infection, oh and please, please try and stay positive, it will pass ........☺

  • thank you . everyones comments have been amazingly helpful. i appreciate your help xxxxxxxx

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