This is me currently.

[marcusvanbreugel]

Dear Everyone,

I haven't written for a while. I do read the blogs and questions a lot and occasionally reply.

I am bearing up. I am having trouble getting in touch with how I feel. I feel as if i can't get the words out to tell you how I feel. I feel not very nice. I feel as if I am struggling or as if I am having a hard time. I possibly feel a little bit anxious. I feel as if I want to move.I have had a number of panic attacks recently however I am sometimes able to understand that they are anxiety and that gives me some reassurance. This site provides me with brilliant support.

My councelling has been great and very usefull. The word 'rescuer' has been coming up in our session lately. I am starting to realise this about myself a touch. The rescuer personality is the 'knight in shining armour that help everybody out' or someone like that. I feel as if i am getting in touch with something important or that needs to be gotton to grips with.

After having written these things down I now feel as if it was about time.

I wish everyone a great week.

big hugs,

Marcus xxx

[Hidden]

I have been accused of looking after everybody but myself. If this is your personality it is difficult to change. Nice to hear from you, keep posting

[marcusvanbreugel in reply to Hidden]

Hi Holly50,

It is very nice to hear from you also.

hugs,

Marcus xx

[Hidden]

Hi marcus, just wanted to quickly say hi, and that in time we will all find the words we need to express ourselves x Counselling is great for getting things brought to light that we have kept hidden for whatever reason and hopefully once you understand your explanations to why you are feeling this way your journey to recovery can begin xx Donver xx

[marcusvanbreugel in reply to Hidden]

Dear Donver,

It is nice to hear from you. Thank you for positive words.

a big hug,

Marcus xxx

[Hidden]

Hi marcus

I have thought about you often & wondered how you were doing

Sometimes I think we can over think so much about how we feel , it could be part of anxiety

Maybe sometimes we are not meant to feel anything in particular as such , this could be normal but we are not used to it & are always looking for answers , when maybe there isnt any

Just a thought

Oh I think I could be a knight then , except woman cant be Knights can we

I am so pleased you have posted , I have been missing you

Special hugs

Love

whywhy

xxx

[marcusvanbreugel in reply to Hidden]

Dear Whywhy,

It is lovely to hear from you.

a big hug,

Marcus xxx

[marcusvanbreugel in reply to Hidden]

Dear Whywhy,

I like what you have written. I hadn't seen your replies for a while and was wondering whether you had left the site. Then I saw one of your replies. I was glad to see that you are still on the site.

big hugs,

Marcus xxx

[Hidden in reply to marcusvanbreugel]

I am still here Marcus

I must admit , it has crossed my mind sometimes to leave , & i would just go quietly ,but when I have those moments , I try & just leave the account where it is & go of & do other things & then i look & see people like you who I have grown fond of & think Oh I would miss them , I will carry on a bit longer may be

I have been taking a couple of days of here & there , as I want to look into doing other things , but I am still about

You still give the best hugs on here

Big hugs back

xxx