Cannot convince myself this is anxiety

i really can't convince myself the way I feel is anxiety. I could sit in my room and cry for a long time if I wanted. I just feel so physically knackered, I have no idea what this is. I try to tell myself that I only feel this way after panic and anxiety attacks, but it can last for days and I am so tired of people telling me to go to the doctor's as I have been six months ago and there was NOTHING. I'd asked her to double check for supplements and vitamin deficiencies, and she found nothing. Thyroid is perfect, bloodwork was great, as in "there's nothing even here to bother worth speaking about" because there was nothing. Urine was fine. Blood sugar fine. I've had my blood pressure tested twice since then and even during one time when I was anxious, it still was fine.

But then one word enters my brain.

THEN.

It was fine THEN. what about NOW? What if there's something seriously wrong and I'm being forced to wait for the "climax?" People say to get blood work checked once more, but I cannot. I can't dish out cash at the moment for that. Sure, this only started after I was panicking over my stomach in October and the anxiety started again, but this information doesn't go into my head, as I'm basing everything off of how I feel now.

"Well I could tell it was anxiety then now. But what about now? I can't believe anxiety can do this."

"This person says they feel like they're dying because they're dizzy. My symptoms seem worse then theirs, so mine must be an actual medical problem."

I have health anxiety, but I don't have a fear of death. Ironically. I have a fear of no control and I cannot stand feeling so physically poorly. my mother keeps saying that it is anxiety and that no viruses have come up on anything. Everything is physically fine.

But then I want to go find a pillow and scream into it. My mother is a very attentive mother and we are very close, I'm not holding back, but she says she has anxiety and knows exactly how I feel. But again, that information is not going in.

I seem to reach the peek of feeling bad in the evening so every day, I dread the evening. So I don't know if I feel bad in the evening because I expect to, or because there is actually a problem. And it's not all the time. It usually goes away after a few days, IF IM CALM. but what if this keeps progressing into something really bad?

And if this helps, when I feel this way, I force myself to go on a walk and I don't feel worse after. If anything, I feel a bit better. I don't feel really tired after excercise, I feel either better or indifferent. I just can't differentiate, but I know how much my body can react, I'll see flashing lights when I close my eyes, panic, and then just recall that I was watching a bright video with that. Or I'll hear a ringing and be like, Oh my gosh, something is really wrong, only to find out that it's coming from the TV. I feel like Peeta, guys. Real or not real?

[Hidden]

Hello, If you are cleared of a medical problem and are not on any new medication or old medication that could cause these symptoms and have been told this is anxiety it may help to do some research. The work of Dr. Claire Weeks is very imformative. You can find youtube clips on it and books. Anxiety is a mean loop. You feel the phisical sensation, try to make sense of it, produce more fear which lets off more chemicals which makes it worse and unending. I also learned alot on a website called ExcelAtLife. That Dr. put a ton of info on there and explains the way the body reacts. Please try to check these out. May help you relax a little. Best of luck.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. I haven't been directly told its anxiety, as I did not eve know then. I didn't know until my mom actually pointed out my panic attack. I was sitting on the floor and it suddenly felt like i was dying. She held my hand and I felt....I don't know, just like this huge wave of uncontrollable fear kept hitting me over and over. And when I looked at my hands they were shaking so badly.

My dad used to have panic attacks but not anymore, he broke out of it. But he didn't have as many physical symptoms as me and mine have changed throughout last year. So I keep telling myself that if I push through regardless of how I feel physically, that this will begin to go away. I mean that's what logic is telling me, I just don't know how to believe that.

I once had a couch on anxiety that told me it was anxiety. Does that count as being told its anxiety? He said he honestly did not believe there was a medical issue, as does everyone else. I even had a friend who's anxiety induced seizures (I don't have that at all) but once she went through coaching, all anxiety symptoms disappeared and she is now fine. So now I'm just like, now what? I know a few weeks leading up to my birthday, I was dreading it for some reason. I kept thinking that I wouldn't live to that age and just felt something bad around the corner. And sure enough, first panic op attack on my birthday.

[shoppaholicsue Star]

This does sound so much like anxiety. Being anxious produces physical symptoms (as you know from exams - feeling a bit sick, butterflies in the tummy, etc). A prolonged period of anxiety will produce more symptoms, then you feel anxious about these, and then you get more, or worse symptoms. Its a vicious circle.

You have to get in there and break that cycle. Medication often kick starts it if you (like me) are unable to do it. Im on 20mg Citalopram. Started it November and its really beginning to work now. I don't feel half as anxious. Im to be on it for a year at least to start off with. Thats enough time to have broken the cycle.

Tried other thing too that may help, relaxation apps on my phone, exercise, hypnotherapy.

All the best

Sue

[Hidden in reply to shoppaholicsue]

Thanks for your reply. I am determined not to use medication. Im actually surprised I have lasted this long. I feel better at night before bed when I get to watch a show on my ipad and thats the time of day where im like, i can do this. Ive got this. But then the next day comes and then i feel somewhat hopeless. I just dont want to rely on medication. I want this gone without the use of it and I honestly believe I will do it, i just dont know when. When is the question.

[elizabeth_82 in reply to shoppaholicsue]

Hi, Sue! I've been on 10mg of citalopram for six weeks now...I don't really feel much difference. In your experience do you think I should wait it out?

[shoppaholicsue Star in reply to elizabeth_82]

I was on 10 mg for 3 weeks and found it a little bit beneficial - not greatly though. Dr put it up to 20mg and I have really noticed the difference now. It does take a little time to get working properly.

Sue

[elizabeth_82 in reply to shoppaholicsue]

Did you experience the side effects with the increase?

[shoppaholicsue Star in reply to elizabeth_82]

No side effects at all - touch wood!

[dolly11111]

Hi anxiety affects everyone in differant ways and its horrible,what saved me is a book called ,,at last a life,,,by paul david ,,I highly recomend anyone suffering any digree of anxiety to have this book on thier shelf ,,all the best xxxxx

[Chicago22]

Listening to you I see me. I hav e had so many tests done. I know I know . Please seek counseling I do not take meds maybe I should tell yourself self your fine this is what works for me repeat it I. Your head. How olds are you?

[Hidden]

Ok, relax. I am dizzy all the time and I think I found out why. I want you to google a site called dizzy times, it's a forum. I want you also to google the term Sternocleidomastoid syndrome. The SCM Muscle in your neck can give you lots of problems. If this is your issue then you will need to get a PT to help work it out.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Im not dizzy though.

[Hidden]

I don't know if this will help you but let me give you a list of my symptoms over the past year and all the medical tests I had. You won't believe it. I had some serious trauma over the past year and as a result I was feeling really weird. Rapid heartbeat, spacey, dizzy, sensitive to light and sound, feeling like my legs were weak, keyed up, messed up stomach, sweaty palms, hot and cold sweats, weight loss, headache, sleepless, nightmares, throat issues, depressed, panic attacks, exhausted, and shaking. Part of my trauma was medical so they did check a lot of things for me. Brain-MRI, chest xray, abdominal ultrasound, 2 neurology appointments, eye exam, and just on Monday full blood work. Every single test came up perfectly normal. Now my diagnosis is PTSD but anxiety is the biggest and long lasting symptom for me. Even with all of these symptoms my medical tests are normal and good. So I just want you to know I totally understand how convincing the symptoms are and how hard it is to believe it when someone tells you it's anxiety. When my PTSD really hit me full on back in the summer I was stunned and did not believe it was possible for my own fight/flight response to cause me to feel like that. Little by little certain symptoms improved and others popped out. I have been on the end of exhausted/sleepless/headache to keyed up/panic/racing heart. I have experienced all of it within the past year since my medical trauma happened in Feb. and March of 2014. I am still dealing with the anxiety part. I was at a point in November that I was so anxious that I didn't want to do anything at all but in December I decided to start moving again with the anxiety. The more I can accept that yes this is anxiety and it isn't going to actually hurt me it get's a little less scary. I know that it's a outdated survival response designed to protect me from harm. But it becomes maladaptive and scares us and then the brain which can't distinguish real threat from no threat will just send out more chemicals and alarms. So the body will continue to feel weird and we will continue to think we are in danger. I do not use medication because to be honest I did try something and upon 1 dose I had a very rare and unreal side effect that was like 1 in a million. So I will never risk it again. I think it's important to try to step outside of our own thinking process about this sort of as an outsider and try to sort out the logic. Even though I've done that I'm still struggling but I hope awareness is a step to further relief. I hope this helps. I just wanted to share my story to show that one can experience all of that and still find out it's anxiety. So that means it is a big deal if you suffer this much and help is needed. I don't think people just say "just anxiety." It is something that can really interfere with daily life and it's important to try to jump out of the loop if we can. It is our internal wake up call that we need to attend to something in our lives. People with anxiety are super smart, sensitive, and creative. Imagine if we can learn to use those qualities in other areas.

[Survivorthriver]

When you have these racing thoughts, do you tell yourself to stop so you can calm down? This means to literally take a pause and stop everything. Stop thinking and stop doing whatever you are doing and take some deep breaths to help your mind to slow down too.

If you think about something and then that leads to another thought, and this cycle keeps repeating itself until you feel out of control this is anxiety.

I go thru thus too, but then I have to make myself stop and take a pause for a moment to gather myself. I don't do well if I can't think clearly.