Log in
Anxiety Support
36,766 members40,040 posts

Nasty or just hurt?

Well today after the txt I got from the ex last night I woke up really angry, so I txt my ex to say that everything aside we have still been together for a year and have know each other for 8, and that it's a slap in face that they are just acting like the last year hasn't even happened. I got back a txt to say that I was selfish and it's all about me and that they have a family member very ill at the moment and that's all they are worrying about nothing to do with us.

I'm truly sorry that this is going on in their life but I can't help but think that it's not my fault and they can't just hurt my feelings then use the excuse that their family member is ill to get out of having to deal with the stuff between us...I'm maybe not explaining myself very well but I've ended up feeling like a gigantic arse.

Tears have literally streamed from my face all day...I'm surprised I have any left.

Is that nasty from me to say that or I'm I justified ?


10 Replies


If their family member is so ill and thats ALL they are thinking about, why are they texting you at night and winding you up, proberbly knowing you will get upset and reply so they can then throw the selfish card in your face.

What a tangled web we weave. It annoys me when people behave like this. you are not selfish, Tell them to stop playing games with you.

All the best mate xxx


Luv.... people like this have a very good way of turning it around and making it look and feel like its our fault!! You haven't done anything wrong..... they are just showing their true colours...... and that hurts sometimes to realise the people you cared for are arses , but unfortunately that's the way it is..........

You will get over luv, honest........... being on your own is better than being with a tit like that.....

Sending love and hugs




One problem we have with metal illness is that we become clinging to our loved ones and what happens is if our parter has problems they also feel that their needs are not been met, I am the worse for that and my carer/wife has a terrible time with me only discussing my condition, and possibly not looking at the greater picture going around our home.

Over the last few years I have been allienated from my family who are quite a nasty box of tricks. So I now only have my Hazel s family now and I can be found lacking regarding the problems that are happening with her family as they live a long way from Northern England.

What I am saying to you is could it be that the OH is feeling exposed and concerned regarding His family. So what He is seeing is you on the other side, with your problems and He is looking towards His personal problems as well.

Mental illness to some parts of society are a no no and some feel that we should get a grip with what is going on in our lives. Possibly if you try and take more interest in what is happening there, this may open a door for your man to feel that you are trying to give him support and understanding, this is part of living with a person we love so we feel for each other and that helps a relationship grow over the years

I am not saying that is happening here, as I cannot walk in your shoes, I hate high heels, it is just a suggestion



Hey Ashley try not to beat yourself up over this. You've done nothing wrong. You're defiantly not a selfish person so don't let that play on your mind. We are all here for you

Big hugs xx


Thanks everybody, I suppose it's just the way of a breakup though isn't it.

I think it's best I just delete the number then I don't have the temptation to txt again.



yup that's the first rule of a breakup............. get rid of his number........ and then everything that reminds you of him, if you cant face throwing them away just yet, then pack them up for a later date.... and write everything you didn't like about him down and re-read it when you feel weak.....

Gosh check me out being all sensible,,, whywhy would be proud!! xx


Yes anne whywhy is very proud :D

Listen to anne , Ashley , I have taught her well :-/



;-) xx


Haha yes this is true, it's funny my boss said the same thing to me today..she was like write down all the bad stuff then she said in fact I could write it all for you as she knows everything that's went on and then just keep looking back at what was wrong and you won't be tempted to go back...I guess the last laugh I have is that my ex actually went and got my name tattooed on them...so they have a constant reminder of me whenever they see it



Love it.............. xx


You may also like...