I didn't know whether to go to the anxiety or depression community to post this...

[Sapphire3]

I've just had THE worst dream I've ever had or ever will have in my life. My partner told me his ex was pregnant, that it was his and that he was leaving me to be with her. It was so vivid and I remember all of it. This is a long shot but I'm wondering if anyone knows - I have Borderline Personality Disorder, can nightmares about things you're worried about count as delusions? I mean it was so vivid, and I woke up feeling as if it had actually happened - like broken to the point of feeling like I want to die. I've had similar nightmares before about my boyfriend cheating on me with his ex, but never on this scale. It's a subject that's tearing our relationship apart. I can't trust him because of it. Just woah, I never knew a nightmare could affect someone this much. I mean I've been with my boyfriend when I've woken up from one of these bad nightmares before and I was in a rotten mood, And he found it ridiculous that I was acting on consciously, a dream that I'd had subconsciously, that clearly wasn't real. Help!!!

[Sapphire3]

Well, yes and no. It came to light recently that he slept with her the day before he first slept with me. He's still friends with her and sees her whenever he goes home. She still has feelings for him, which meant his birthday party, which both me and his ex were at, was rotten for both us girls. These aren't exactly reasons to assume he has or will cheat, but I have paranoia issues anyway, and things like this don't exactly help. Thank you for your response x

[Photogeek in reply to Sapphire3]

Hi Sapphire dreams are usually about stuff that's going on in our subconscious . I don't blame you for feeling anxious about your

BF . Why did he invite her to his party, that would seem strange to me, does he not consider your feelings.

No of course you cannot take a dream as reality. But your dreams

Indicate that this is on your mind and is causing you anxiety. You need to talk these issues over with him and tell him you have limits

And boundaries. Don't be in any relationship that causes you

Worry or stress, it's not worth it.

Hugs

Hannah

[Sapphire3 in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah,

Well he says his ex is part of his friends group, and that's why he invited her. I mean I was going through hell the whole night, so of course any little thing is going to make me flip out. They started fighting over the bathroom and he grabbed her waist soI just flipped out. Later on I was crying in the bathroom so his ex was talking to me - that's when she told me about him sleeping with her the day before 1st doing so with me. So he'd lied to me for over 6 months. He's adamant he'd already told me - I know for a fact I would've remembered something like that. Anyway, we both ended up arguing with him - he stormed off and said "f**k the both of you". So I went upstairs onto the landing to be alone and was just bashing my head against the wall for about half an hour. Then was time to go out - I went with them because it was his 21st but I said or did nothing the rest of the night and went straight up to bed when we got back. I just became a bit of a zombie to be honest, it was just too much to handle.

Anyway, was the worst night of my life. I'm not really sure what he expected in that situation :/

I'm still with him because I love him, he's completely aware of how it makes me feel but he just says he's not losing a friend and no girl will ever make him do anything he doesn't want to do, and insists that they're distant friends so he doesn't understand what I keep getting upset about.

Sorry for the long reply, I just need to vent.

Sapphire xxx

[Sapphire3 in reply to Photogeek]

And I'm sorry I haven't replied to your message yet, I am really grateful that you care. It's just, I feel silly now even, I can keep complaining about him and then stay with him, it can't be both ways. So I'm just having a lot of inner-conflict at the moment xxx

[Photogeek in reply to Sapphire3]

Hi Sapphire , do t feel bad about replying quickly. That's no problem .Yes it's hard when you love

Him and your young. Talking things out will

Always help and feel free to vent anytime.Sometimes I find that talking things

Over helps us to clarify things in our

Own mind.

Try and look after yourself and don't be getting

Upset, nothing is worth that.

Hannah x

[Mysteryreader]

This sounds like an awful dream. It seems to me that this issue is definitely playing on your mind if your dream is so vivid. I suggest you have a chat with your boyfriend but before this you need to decide whether your prepared to accept the fact he is not prepared to stop being friends with his ex. Is he worth the strees he is causing you because I feel if a relationship is going to work long term there needs to be trust?

Hope this helps

MR